Friday, October 4, 2013

Beyond and spaced....


October 4, 2013
Oh my goodness!  It seems like just yesterday that I flipped the calendars over to September and now we’re flippin' flipping again!?!  I can’t wait to “fall back” a little and get an extra hour of tossing and turning and wondering when the next month will slap me upside the head.  I have many superfluous items that I would like to relate to you, none of which are important, and most of which I will likely forget if I don’t make a quick list of them before I crack open a nice kool Oktoobeerfest!  
  1. It’s fall and I’ve got some evidence to proof it!
  2. It’s space week!
  3. It's Hispanic Heritage month!
  4. The government shut down, but when will they shut up!?

Did you know it was fall?  Leaves are changing into lawn ornaments, multi-use trails are becoming darker, and people are getting ready to dress up like their favorite entree avec acente or novelist for All Hollow’s Evening.  My proof of this seasonal transition is that I happened to have witnessed the before and after-event activities related to a cyclocrosscycling event in Lincoln, Nebraska.  

Also I’m seeing a bunch of pumpkins for sale everywhere I go.  

The bicyclecrossing event was spoonsored by the Moose’s Tooth/Cycle Works and information is available here.  I talked to a man named Josh about the event.  I asked if there was a category for out of shape guys with inappropriate bicycles.  He smiled a bit and said “Cat 5” without any detectable amount of condescendingness or annoyance!  I was impressed.  We conversed and I learned that a person could participate in some cyclocross-dressing for a mere $17 ($7 for the race, $10 for a day membership in the Association of the Cross) if he or she planned ahead and signed up online.  Poor planners are also welcome on the day of the race, but the race fee jumps to $15 for a total of $25.  

As you all know, it is now space week and we are loving it!  People are planning to go to Mars where someone is sure to be totally stoked about Surly’s not-yet-created-as-far-as-I-know Martianlander.  This bicycle will be so fat that it’s tyres will consist of 29” diameter spheres that can roll in whatever direction you lyke using magnetic “hubs” to keep the frame attached to the tyres.  It will look kind of like this, but even cooler!  
http://www.gizmag.com/spherical-drive-system-omnidirectional-electric-motorcycle/24095/
And on Halloween you can make your tyres look like jack-o-lanterns with some craftiness!  Whoooo!  Mars, here we come!

Unfortunately for NASA, they are all sitting at home due to the government shut down.  This should give NASA employees a chance to kick back, relax and enjoy their hobbies and socializing with friends.... Hahahahahahah!

Hispanic Heritage month is going great too.  There are many Latino and Latina bicyclers here in the US who are bicycling around and working hard so that the rest of us have time to sit around and bitch about immigration.  Not that I’m bitching, just sitting around.

So the government shut down, eh?  That’s fine.  We’re probably better off without them.  But I hear it’s expensive to shut down the government, and that pisses everyone off.  But, as they say, it’s better to be pissed off than pissed on.  So if you’re really angry, I recommend getting autographed photo(s) of whichever congresspeople you’re especially angry with and pissing on it/them.  Then put the video on youtube and Congress and the White House will be so busy laughing at themselves together that they’ll forget to be mad at each other and we’ll all be one big happy family like we have been for the entire existence of the aggressively peaceful and welcoming homeland we call US!  That makes sense, right?!

Bruno Mars, (as I understand it based on my covert imagining) will be engaged as the house band for the Martian pioneers' trip to Mars.  If you’re not planning on taking the cryogenically frozen route, you’ll be treated to some serious peppiness and a dancing horn section that appears to actually have functional horns.

Happy space week and enjoy the shut down!