While enjoying short-sleeved temperatures on my bicycle ride homewards, I found I was being heralded by a gently honking entity of some sort. I replied with a chime of my handlebar bell. Then we got a groove going, kind of a call and repeat, rhythmic duet. It reminded me of my short time spent in a Himalayan ghumpa being serenaded by a wizened master and his student playing gyalings.
The source of the honking seemed related to a kid shooting some hoops in his driveway. Our duet lingered as I was climbing the steep hill (aka Hill o' Ween [because the power duo collabo was reminiscent not only of a Buddhist lama and disciple, but also the multi-faceted jam band Ween]).
Prior to Hill o' Ween I had traveled some unfamiliar byways on an improved route to and from my home and the goblin workshop that currently exploits/employs me. Behold some of the marvelous sights I beheld!
It was quite some time ago that I accepted the weakness of my right illotibial (IT) band.
This deficiency is noticeable only when running, which isn't a common undertaking of mine. The recommended remedies (a bewildering variety of stretches and pain-inducing foam roller therapy), coupled with the infrequency of my running, did not induce a speedy solution. Now that I am involved in some half-assed preparations for the off-road Beer and Bagel Run I have recommenced my running efforts. Luckily there are some new strategies for dealing with IT band problems: one-legged step-ups and one-legged squats.
The great thing about one-legged squats that it can be performed as a segue into sitting down on the couch to watch some "True Blood" or that new "Beavis and Butthead" show.
Hmmmm. I can't do that. Maybe I'd better watch that video again...
It has come to my attention that Oh-me-ha will be hosting bicycle cyclo-crossing activities at two upcoming events on November 2 and 9 (Wednesdays) at Seymour Smith Park! Registration at 5, races at 6. Although I am vaguely familiar with the concept of cyclo-crossing via snippets of television viewing, I will hopefully get a chance to get out and make the scene for some real-life cyclo-cross. I am pretty sure that all non-professional cyclo-cross events require crazy costumes, preferably of the cross-dressing variety, and obstacles you must surmount with alacrity ablaze! Since this racing series is entitled "Twilight Cyclocross" I am guessing that it has a fangless vampire theme, so get out the glitter, put away the fangs and let your glamour glam!
Since I am a cyclocross newbie I did some research to discover more about this intriguing particular genre of bicycle racing.
Here are some things that I found out... 1.. If you are vaguely interested in cyclocrossing you should definitely try it!
2..There are many rules associated with cyclo-cross. They involve detailed descriptions of pits, obstacles, planks, bridges and brought to mind the exciting Activision hit video game, "Pitfall!"
3..Dismounts and remounts should be most effectively performed by slipping your right foot down between your left leg and bike frame. Hmmm. Sounds a bit tricky, aannd treaty!So grab your cyclo-cross bicycle to bear, rugged road bike, or an all-terrain-bicycle with no bar ends and get out there for some messy fun!
As a side note, I hear tell that these events are fun to spectate, so even if you don't wanna get some mud on your magnificent steed, you can swing by for some free to cheap entertainment.
It is an orange time. Orange things have proliferated prolifically. But for every orange, there must be a green (preferably with some peaceful white between the two). Hence the Irish flag. Besides an abundance of pumpkinful foodstuffs,
leaves and witches with orange hats entombed in concrete
I have noticed that the greeny things are still about if one looks closely enough. One green event I saw advertised in "The Reader" was a gin and jazz costumed soiree, entitled "The Green Fairy," featuring an absinthe bar, at the House of Loom. This event apparently occurred on October 22. If this is all green could muster this time of year, then it is clear that orange is in ascendance. The green fairy is flitting about beneath the radar, but orange is out on parade. Here is one other green representative that is clearly living in the margins of society.
This may not be some "legitimate" "mural" like I hear they got uptown on the Keystone Trail, but it's all we got out here by the Poet's Perch. And as a wise man once said, "That'll do, pig, that'll do."
As a purveyor of the benefits of balance, I often strive to attain some. I like to feel as if I did something healthy before I reward myself with some unhealthy behavior. This kind of mindset could also be termed "rationalizing." The upcoming "Beer and Bagel Run" is a good example of this situation. Get up on a Sunday morning and run for awhile, then kick back with a beer and a bagel. Good, satisfying living, dammit! In this case, I'm pretty sure the beer's the healthy part, since running is generally perceived as a dangerous, unhealthy activity to my relatively sedentary body.
Speaking of dangerous, it often seems to me that most things that are "dangerous" are fun. As I was riding home I overheard a son tell her mom something like, "Look, he's riding in the street!" Her response was, "blah, blah, blah.... It just scares me." Well, it scares me too, sometimes, but it's fun dammit! Nothing risked, nothing gained. Perhaps as dangerous, but less-obviously so, are the soul-sucking compromises to living that allow us to safely make our uneventful way from cradle to grave. I like to think of it as "risk management." I do not wear urban camo and cycle lightlessly across busy intersections. So tell your kid about the "facts of life on the road" (or just let him watch Lemmy Kilmister's Lemmy) buy him some safety gear and let him cycle about on the streets where he will be mocked mercilessly by his peers due to his orange helmet, safety vest, blinking lights and elevated orange flag. Or better/worse yet, go cycling with him. Either he'll stop cycling or else he'll be cycling as safely as possible.
I met a guy who had recently purchased a Salsa Mukluk. Here 'tis.
Last year I thought these types of contraptions were called "snow bikes." Now, however, I've been informed that they prefer to be called "fat bikes." This is very refreshing to me, since I've recently learned to limit my use of the word "fat" in "polite" (aka "fat") society. These types of bikes would also very likely support a fat person in a slow-moving, smooth-riding manner not unlike a palanquin. Our stout bicycling friends may glide majestically about, warmed by layers of blubber and royal purple, down jackets on their slow-moving imposing draft steeds. Here is a song called "Heavy Horses" that I feel may have actually been written about fatbikes.
So grab an orange scarf and a green pair of goggles and jump on that fat bike for some comfortable bicycling with impunity!
As a citizen who attempts to maintain a hazy, semi-awareness of recent events, I became aware last night that there are some murals along the Keystone (Multi-use) Trail near 67th and Center that were christened today. There was reportedly an after-inauguration celebration at Jones Cupcakes in Aksarben Village. This is right next to Liv Lounge, and I've got a coupon for that somewhere. Although I missed opening night, I do look forward to some art appreciation, multi-use riding and cupcakes at a time preferably in the near future. Meanwhile, please keep an eye out and/or send me a postcard.
Speaking of hazy, semi-awareness, what about this crazy Keystone XXL Pipeline deal? What's up with that? At first I thought this was going to be an above-ground pipe that would provide an elevated, scenic pathway for bicycle touring up to South Dakota and (for the intrepid traveller) North Dakota. There could be some rope bridges connecting the pipeline to tree fort / Ewok village camping areas. Of course, some entrepreneurial hippies would possibly tap into the line for some free fuel to power their VW Westphalia. It might be hard to transform the dreaded Dilbit (diluted bitumen, ahhhhhh [scream of terror]) into usable fuel, but I'm pretty sure it could occur with a little perseverance and ingenuity. TransCanada wouldn't mind too much because they will be reaping map quantities of semi-liquid funds. They would coquettishly turn their corporate back with a knowing wink over their shoulder. Unfortunately, I have since learned that the planned pipeline will be underground, which is not as exciting to me. Nevertheless, I'm pretty sure this crazy underground thing could work. Now I know this project has its naysayers and opponents. But so did many large and/or forgotten figures/absentees throughout history. Like that guy who thought that fermented wood stew would be a tasty beverage of enlightment. But, then again there was that guy Icarus. Henry Ford. Noah. The Wright brothers. The Hindenberg. And the Jones Brothers. These misguided/brilliant innovators assuredly had their detractors. (Speaking of Icarus, here is an awesome Iron Maiden video about that visionary).
Frank Sinatra did it his way. Well, TransCanada's president and CEO Russ Girling wants to do it his way too! Is that a crime? Well, it depends on who you ask. But it is assuredly American. Do you think people urged Pecos Bill to ride tornadoes or Babe the Big Blue Ox after he drank the Great Lakes after the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald during prohibition? The answer is either a) No, or b) What!? But either way you have to admit that it is a big dream.
Unfortunately TransCan hasn't exactly had the best PR relating to their grandiose vision of the future. So here is some advice, Russy, turn the above-ground part of the pipeline into a multi-use trail. Sure it would lack the elevated perspective I was dreaming of before I was so rudely disillusioned. Yes, TC, you should feel bad about that, but it's not too late for you to make things right with me. Firstly, let's get this path thing going. If you'd asked me sooner, I would have advised you to publicize the multi-use path first, and then (after construction was underway) mention that, "oh yeah, there is a little conduit transporting Dilbert under the path." You've already been generous enough to provide us Homahans with the Keystone Trail, you could've just called it the Keystone XL Trail (Although personally I would prefer "Stone West"). But you didn't ask. Secondly, once you get this path built, you can hire me to patrol the path. I will diligently traverse back and forth along this 2,147 mile corridor, plant tomatoes and sunflowers, camp, play some mandolin, socialize, and keep an eye out for any leaks. And don't worry about inclement weather, I will use the generous salary you provide wisely. Only the finest all-season, high-tech gear will be implemented in this important occupation. I will not be fast, but I will be thorough. (I'm estimating 40 miles a day or so, which would allow one full traverse every 54 days). Of course you can count my salary towards purchasing carbon offsets because I will use only human-powered locomotion out on my beat. I may have to hire some qualified individuals to assist. If you hire enough of us you could be carbon neutral by 2020! We will be known as the XL Pipe Patrol or maybe the Pipe Smokies, or something cool. We'll need a badass logo, too, which I'll be working on in the near future. Maybe some time pondering the new murals over on 67th and Center will get me some inspiration for logolizing.
I have been informed, via bulk mail, that "Rain" is a tribute to the Beatles that will be performed at Omaha's Orpheum Theater on November 11 and 12. It is also something that falls from the sky and lands on the pavement, forming puddles you can ride through on a bicycle equipped with Hutchinson Python tyres if you are hankering for a liquidy form of self-flagellation. The center knobs (yes, yuck it up my British "friends") have even been referred to as "paddles" by a fellow cyclist, which I think is an appropriate description of their form and function, especially in rainy conditions.
I like to think of it as self-splashulation, which is what I may have been engaged in recently and that resulted in my distraction during some wonderful events here in the Ho (short for Home-aha). These wonderful events include what may be the beginning of a gradual rise of bicycles to a form of legitimate transportation. When I was first notified that the Ho had received a "bicycle friendly community" designation (albeit at the bronze baby shoe level), I admit that I suspected that the hand of a wealthy bicyclist such as the Ho's own Wizard of Wall Street - Warren Buffet, was once again busily at work peskily improving humanity.
My enthusiasm in regards to these transport oriented developments has been bolstered somewhat by some recreational activity I enjoyed this afternoon. Yas, I made it out to Tranquility Park for some off-road bicycling with my friend, coach and mentor - Rich. We had a blast! When we arrived, the garrulous Rich perceptively perceived that some riders had become walkers of their proud steeds. Yes, a mighty Santa Cruz Heckler had been hobbled by a flat, which had been only partially refilled by a CO2 cartridge. Since I saw no opening to escape from this impending Good Samaritanism, I offered him the use of my handy-dandy Genuine Innovations Second Wind pump/CO2 inflater (I often have difficulties with decisions). It's an exercise in patience, but generally provides just enough air pressure to get slowly but comfortably where you are headed. GI also manufactures the acclaimed Mountain Pipe if you need some kind of buzz before pumping up your flatty. The SC Heckler's jockey's (possibly Mark's) son Jesse provided some gentle heckling of the Heckler-jockey by stating that the Heckler was "kind of overkill" for the relatively smooth Tranquility. Yes, Tranquility formerly seemed a little bland, but convenient for all-terrain bicycle excursioning. There are currently some trails out there that were not present the last time I was Tranquilized. The funnest were probably up on the hill to the north of the ice-plex.
Horrible photo, great riding! I was too busy riding to photograph the top, fun part!
A kind of ridge composed of soft dirt in a kind of treacherous bumpy format and some steep whoop-de-doos provided a welcome diversion on a lovely Saturday afternoon. A local man, with an endearing amount of grayish scruff and a slight paunch, informed us that the new bumpy section had been there since "around August." Also a nice fast downhill with some jumps for those in love with potentially sick (aka slightly nauseous) air.
The main trail network was expanded to the north of Fort Street.
That log to the left was talkin' smack about you. Maybe you should get out there and....ride over it!
A path under the overpass leads to a pleasant, quick, fairly straight-forward ride past the baseball and soccer fields with a nice loop.
Enough details, get out there and ride, if you've got a yen for some sweet off-roading! Suffice it to say that my arms and legs were pretty fatigued by the second time down the bumpy spine of the hill. The newly expanded area north of Fort also provides egress to a neighborhood in close proximity to the Standing Bear Lake dam. It was a quick, peaceful jaunt over to the multi-use trails around Standing Bear from Tranquility. Love it! I hope to be back soon.
On my way home, in addition to self-spashulation, I enjoyed some lovely fall foliage and pleasantries with pedestrians who appeared amused by my gritty drippiness.
Intoxicated by the exhilirating bicycling at Tranquility, I had recently been rhapsodizing about the lovely buzz of the knobby tyres on the pavement as we circled Standing Bear Lake, and now "Pythons in the Rain" (ala The Police's "Shadows in the Rain") provided my mental soundtrack.
As for Beatles tributes, we've got a pretty good band right here in the Ho called "Yesterday and Today." They will be playing shows at the Omaha Community Playhouse from December 2 - 31st. I went last year and had a ball. They're also at the Waiting Room on November 26th (with cheaper tickets and drinks). If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, eh chappys? Eh, indeed!
Yesterday I was fortunate enough to attend a Big Brothers and Big Sisters sponsored beer-tasting event at Quality Brands beverage distributors facility at 132nd and Giles.
I enjoyed a delightful (and free!) Beck's Oktoberfest, a tour and some information about BBBS, which seems to be a great program. We also got a tour of their storage area where I beheld mass quantities of beverages, primarily of the alcoholic variety.
Our final destination on the tour featured some Michelob Ultra decorated, full-suspension bicycles of dubious utility.
Now I realize that Mick U needs some pub just like other real beers, but Mick U on a full-suspension bicycle? I am not convinced that this is as good a match as I will undoubtedly be to my future little brother who I will call Richard. Michelob Ultra might work alright on a bandana (in fact I'm pretty sure I've got one somewhere), but a full suspension bicycle should at least get Amberbock decals to represent it's allegedly rugged nature. Mick U logos belong on some kind of road bike.
During the tour I learned that Anheiser-Busch really wants to buy Corona, and that it already owns 312 brand beers. Well, hey A-B, if you wanna really good ginger-beer recipe, and you're willing to pay a reasonable price, I'm willing to talk.
As it is the falling time of year, I am spastically training for the upcoming Beer and Bagel Run on November 6, which will undoubtedly be a painful experience for me. The pain may be partially caused by illotibial band syndrome. Or I just might not be properly conditioned for moving rapidly upon my feet. I am always willing to haphazardly embrace any new strategies to attempt to assist me in my half-hearted, feeble attempts at running. The latest training strategy involves something called "one-legged squats" and it is as horrible as it sounds. I can't actually perform one according to specs, but my awkward attempts cause my legs to feel as if I am on the hot rails to hellacious running power! Yes, I am "feeling the burn."
While bicycling in wet weather, one is often baptized by the gutter water sent outwards by the bestowing round vehicular rubbers spinning gloriously towards destiny. This refreshing event is often helpful in achieving wakeful awareness of one's surroundings.
In times like these I often think of Edie Brickell and New Bohemians and their tune, "Circle."
And today I also had the Police's "Shadows in the Rain" playing on my mental soundtrack.
Songs that refer to rain are indeed as plentiful as the paper bags filled with leaves lining suburban streets on fall trash days. Here's another catchy one by Iron Maiden.
October 19, 2011
It is getting frosty around here, and that means a few things to a lot of people.
The tomatoes have been plucked and taken inside to be transformed into peanut butter and tomato sandwiches or other delectable treats.
Halloween decor is proliferating.
The snot is flowing freely during many bicycling expeditions.
You may be watching seasonal fare such as "True Blood" or getting ready to watch the eagerly anticipated season 2 of "Walking Dead."
I did harvest the tomatoes,
the snot is flowing and I purchased some Halloween decor which is very convenient and easy to place.
Yes, this hanging skeleton allows any scene to become spookily fun to any motorist with a yen for a relaxed driving companion. Notice the slender profile which doesn't obstruct the conscientious motorist's view of the road. Get one Halloweiners, GET ONE!
I am pleased to report that I have acquired a new camera, after rendering my former one dysfunctional in less than a year. A disembodied hand does add a touch of class to this rather generic-looking recorder of appearances.
This one is supposedly rugged, although the battery compartment door seems rather flimsy and easy to knock open.
So get a good fall vibe going and treat yourself to a PB&T sandwich. That'll put some meat on those bones!
After engaging in some household and garage-oriented tasks for what seemed to be a short time of span, I abruptly realized that the actual length of the span was moderate. I am referencing this past Saturday when I made it to the Lucky Bucket Brewery and Trek Bicycle Stores-sponsored inaugural Lucky Bucket Brewery ride. The event offered two routes - a ride from the Bellevue Berry Farm to either 1) the brewery for a tour (funds raised for Bike Omaha) or 2) to Swanson Park (SwaP for short) for some singletrack riding (funds for T.H.O.R.). I was a bit tardy, but managed to get my nifty t-shirt and other registration materials (including an expired coupon to the Trek Bicycle Store) and get out to the West Papio Trail shortly after the scheduled 3:00 start. Many of the bicycles were sporting some aggressive-looking knobs (on the tires, that is), full-suspension and heavily tattoo-ed jockeys. "Hmmm, could be a quick group of trail riders heading out to Swanson to kick my ass and get sick amounts of air on old SwaP's rolling terrain," I thoughtfully surmised to myself. As I surveyed the approximately 60 or so riders gathered for some bicycling camaraderie,
I noticed that all of them were facing in the brewery direction and not in the park direction! Now I must admit that I do enjoy quaffing back 2 or 3 containers of brew from time to time, but I was a bit surprised that no one but me wanted to get some dirt on their rubber (tyres, that is). It was a beautiful fall day, and I was itching to put in some strenuous off-roading in order to "earn" my beers before/while viewing the Nebraska vs. Ohio State northern North American football extravaganza. Brewmaster Zac Triemert came out to the trail and provided a pep talk and some directions before the brewery bound convoy set out upon its way. I watched all the other cyclists head out towards the brewery and turned my wheels towards the paths less traveled.
I made it out to SwaP where my good buddy Rich had been engaged in some enthusiastic bike wrenching in the parking lot. Before setting out we met a fellow named Adrian who was sporting a funky looking bicycle that he had built up from a ridiculously cheap Marin frame that he had purchased from Bob's Cycling out of Idaho.
The fall foliage and twilight made for some excellent, vivid laps around the park. We encountered three deer, and one of them bounded back across the path about 10 feet in front of me as we wound back through their hangout d'jour. A few bursts of moderate rain cooled me down as I made it back to the berry farm for the after party. Lots of shwag was distributed during the party, which was co-MCed by Kent Mc Neill (owner of Trek bicylcle stores and mountain bicycle racer extraordinaire) and B-master Z, but unfortunately most of it went to people familiar with Lucky Bucket and Trek Store trivia. Q&A included-
Q: What is the alcohol content of LB's IPA?"
A: 6.3%
Q: Where did B-master Z get his Masters in B&D (brewing and distilling, that is)?
A: Herriot-Watt University, Edinburgh, Scotland
One diner was good-naturedly pelted with a thrown bottle opener (wrapped in plastic). A Husker spirit award was bestowed upon an attractive young Huskerette. LB beer was ably distributed by a vivacious Panamanian beauty and her scruffy sidekick, who I imagine is known as Hutch. Four young women in Certified Evil t-shirts provided heckling, boisterous answers to trivia questions and otherwise livened up the party.
Although I left at intermission, due only in part to the pessimistic ramblings of a moderately inebriated man in a bicycling cap, I was able to get back home to watch the Huskers emerge victorious from the rainy black pit of loserliness into which they had begun to descend. Thanks for the beer LBs, and good show red, good bloody show indeed!
Like countless others, I have recently experienced an Oktoberfest celebration which led to some moderate vomiting. Like I imagine my great-grandfather might have told me, "You gotta get right back on that horse that threw you!" Well, I have done so by jumping onto this saddle and downing a few brews, as described in the following sentence.
On a recent trip through Columbus, Nebraska, I was able to enjoy an Oktoberfest in the Vienna style at the lovely Gottberg Brewery. It also has an impressive lavatory.
In addition I observed a practical and sturdy-looking tricycle of the porteur persuasion.
And this man with a rather unwieldly-looking cross offering free reading material.
I was also pleased to note a recent article in the newspaper reporting that Omaha had been inducted into the much-coveted bronze level category of Bicycle Friendly Communities. I feel much more comfortable bicycling around town than I did back in the 1990s when I sensed animosity and the occasional bottle aimed in my general direction as I cycled off to my midnight job as a mortician's lackey. Omaha is currently involved in formulating a transportation master plan of some sort that will determine the course of our local road and trail system to a great degree of detail. It seems likely that this plan may be hijacked by a mouse known as "The Brain." However it also appears that a sizable contingent of concerned and proactive cyclists have been attending appropriate meetings to make sure that the voice of the cyclists (typically only heard as a bell, an "On your left!" or some type of high-pitched obscenity) is heard.
As if this all weren't enough, I am also signed up for an exciting bicycling event I may have mentioned previously, described in more detail here.
While watching the popular new Scott Pilgrim movie I noted that there were no bicycles represented in any of the scenes I viewed. I blame this on a lack of bicycle-representation in modern video games, since the movie seemed to be heavily influenced by video games. Whatever happened to the all-American thrill of video games like "Paperboy" where you could bicycle erratically and chuck the local rag at your neighbor's barking dog or squealing baby. Let me lend my words to the chorus of those decrying the piteous state of modern "civilization" - bike your gaming, for Chrissakes you young up-and-comers, BYG!
