January 22, 2022
50 things (or at least a few) to do when you turn 50!
As you may know, I like to make lists. So here is a great chance (listed in order of importance)!:
1. Get/stay moderately active. Gradually. Lately I’ve developed shin splints. I think it happened because I started adding some interval training to my moderate regime and, also, because I’ve been doing more running than bicycling these days. Now I’m trying to avoid doing activities that involve high/uneven impact to my lower legs as much and it’s kind of a bummer. My takeaway is that I got a bit outside of my moderately active zone there due to my excitement about an upcoming backcountry-lite ski trip.
2. Do something you’ve thought/talked about for a long time. Like planning a backcountry ski trip! Our lives are not infinite, so no need to further procrastinate any longer!
3. Try some strength training to keep whatever strength you’ve got left. You will only get weaker if you opt for the couch!
4. Make sure your loved ones know how much they mean to you. This is really something we should all do at every age, but it’s easy to get caught up in your own busy life and forget to really listen to our loved ones and help them understand how much you love them.
5. Do something you haven’t done for awhile that you used to really like. Like doing some rock climbing or visiting a climbing gym! Luckily I’ve got a 4-year old gift card my friend Rich gave me for my 46thbirthday that didn’t have an expiration date. I dragged Child Snot out there awhile back and he was not overly enthusiastic, but we may try it again soon. Otherwise I’ll just ditch the kid and go hit the bouldering area for awhile, in moderation of course.
6. Play a musical instrument more often. Or maybe start playing one that you haven’t before. Trust me, it’ll be fun and/or good for you! Anyone complaining about the noise? Ask ‘em to join your band!
7. Find a good book to read and ignore the rest of the world.
8. Ride your bike.
9. Eat a burrito
10.Embrace your age. I received several pairs of suspenders that I had placed on my Amazon wish list! No more problems with digestion associated with that unnatural cincture known as “the belt”! I also like to include the optional “the” in front of things, such as “the COVID” or “the parents (these days)”, etc.
11.Buy and wear one or more tracksuits as often as you want, wherever you want.
12.Buy everyone the same type of gift for Christmas, birthdays, etc. May I recommend socks? No? You’re more of a tie guy, aren’t you!?
13.Don’t feel obligated to go to the next social event you don’t feel like attending. It’s your life (what’s left of it)!
14.Buy a shofar, or dust of ye olde one, and BLAST!
15.Anytime someone mentions anything related to your age just yell “Don’t sass me, ya damn kid/whippersnapper/hooligan!”
16.Don’t feel like doing something? Get grouchy! Maybe they’ll go away and you can get a little peace and quiet around here!
17.Start whatever kind of elaborate project you’ve been thinking about for a while or that is a recent inspiration. Finishing is optional.
18.Don’t feel old yet? Just go skiing or on a long bike ride or something and then sit around for a few days doing nothing afterwards. Why? Because you are sore and you earned a rest! Besides, you’re not as young as you used to be! And embrace the oldness (see #10).
19.Learn to/remember how to play dominoes, bridge, or cribbage. You will make new friends and win plenty of games/bets once you make it to the retirement home.
20.Boss people around more. Old people deserve respect, dammit!
21.Kick back and watch some sports/movies/soap operas/whatever the hell you want to watch in the other room if they don’t want to watch your show. To hell with them!
22.Have mercy on your liver! I recommend having your last alcoholic drink 1.5 hours or more before bedtime. So, 8:30, in other words. And then drink some water.
23.Don’t like the way the world is going? Ignore it! No one wants to hear your political views and listening/watching the news is probably just make you want to go on some kind of incoherent rant.
24.Don’t like the way the world is going? Run for office! First you might want to watch the movie Dave as a kind of inspirational how-to manual for political activity.
25.Calm down. You are now in a position to feel comfortable about anything and/or everything. What’s the point in getting wound up? You’ll get through this, just like you did the 1sthalf (or more) of your life.
26.People telling you you’re doing something wrong and you don’t like it? Ask them two questions:
a. Am I going to blow myself or someone else up? (If yes, ask them to explain why to make sure they’re not just yanking your chain. If no, proceed to part b.
b. Would you mind shutting the fuck up and let me get on with it?
27.Not sure if you should say something you are thinking? Go ahead and say it! If it causes any backlash refer to item #14 and/or #15.
28.Get very enthusiastic and/or involved in some type of leisure sport. Might I recommend table tennis and/or bocce ball? Stop by around 7. Shall we say Thursdays? Invite your friends/co-workers!
29.Don’t like the options you’ve been presented with? Let them know you don’t want to be limited. Either just grumpily and enigmatically repeat “No!” (don’t elaborate or explain) or state, “I demand more options!”
30.Really like something, but other people don’t know what it is? This suppression cannot continue! Become the kind of person who must relate everything to your mania, be it cats, the Wizard of Oz, dragons, unicorns, beaches, etc. Let the people know!
31.Talk over the interrupters. Even if they’re louder doesn’t mean you have to listen. Go ahead and finish that sentence even if it’s incoherent rambling that can’t be heard. At least you’re not rudely interrupting!
32.Tell a joke whenever the hell you feel like it.
33.Take a day off.
34.Don’t feel like finishing a list? Don’t!
So there you have it! That's how we quinquagenerians roll!
Sincerely,
BSO
