Memories of vacation fun times + colon health

July 1June 2130, 2018

Hey y’all!

Happy belated Solstice! Summer vacation anyone!  Hells yes!  The family and I fairly recently just returned from a beautiful vacation out to the Pacific Northwest.  It featured, among other things, a trip to the beach

the (coast) redwoods

a hike in the Cascades

Vacations are my favorite! We had a great time, but now it is over. But that doesn’t mean I can’t tell everyone all about it whenever I get the chance!  And now’s one of my chances!

We started in Seattle 

and spent some quality time with my close friend Tyler 

and his beautiful paramour Kathleen.

We played some bocce ball, at which I still have a good knack, and ineptly attempted a game called pickleball, although I wouldn’t mind trying it again sometime.  We went to Pike Place Market where we quickly and efficiently took in the sights and bought shiny trinkets and crafts of all kinds, including this beauty purchased not by me, but by Mrs. Snot!?  

Did you know there are many bicycles, including bike shares like the Lime, which is allegedly only $1 per ride!?  

Then we made it to the enjoyable Honkfest!  

What a great community event!  If I didn’t have to drive I probably would have tried to borrow/hijack a trombone or, failing that, a trumpet.

We eventually made it out to the ocean, 

after a brief 2 hour hike in to the lovely Cape Alava.  It was then that I was eventually forced to realize I had foolishly purchased the wrong kind of fuel for our camp stove!  No, the MSR Dragonfly multi-fuel stove does not count alcohol as one of the multis.  Fortunately Mrs. Snot was undeterred.  She quickly fashioned a wooden platform to support the cookware over the campfire 

and we feasted on a delicious cheesy potato and noodle casserole.  Luckily the aggressive ravens didn’t abscond with the cheese until we’d already enjoyed our hearty campfire feast.  

There were some bones.  

Some rocks.  Some crabs and even the elusive sea deer.  

After a nice short hike back to the vehicle we jumped in for a quick 7 hour spin down to Yachats, Oregon. The ocean was unnervingly beautiful and intensely inviting to Snot Jr.  

I was in no mood for tarrying; however, so I eventually cajoled him back into the vehicle so we could get down to the (coast) redwoods.  The redwoods were comforting to me.  The trees were a beautiful shelter and they create their own cool climate, to a certain degree.  The redwoods and the giant sequoias appear to share a common ancestor - possibly Sequoiadendron chaneyi that existed 10-20 million years ago.  The ancestral tree was apparently widespread in the northern hemisphere.  As the climate became cooler and drier; however, the giants were confined to a few smaller pockets.  Now there are separate populations, primarily in California and also a cousin in China - the dawn redwood (Metasequoia).  I got all my info on the redwoods from a passionate and eloquent volunteer for the park, named Brad.  

Brad also informed Snot Jr. about an exciting pilot programme christened the Junior Park Ranger program.  After completing the required activities and racing to the visitor’s center to provide proof of his worthiness Snot Jr. was sworn in as a Junior Redwoods Ranger!

After our rendezvous with Cali del Norte we quickly about-faced and drove for a long time in order to make it onto a ferry to San Juan Island.

After arriving in plenty of time we were informed that the ferry was about 50 minutes behind schedule!  That was okay for the most part, although I may have not accidentally activated the vehicle’s theft-deterrent alarm at the San Juan County Park Campground at midnight if the ferry was on time!  It would have only been 11 or so!  Howdy y’all! Let’s camp muthafuckaz!  

After a lovely cruise on a whale watching boat I left the rest of the family to their own devices and headed off for the mountains via ferry and bus.  I had been training a few times for this experience and the excitement was palpable! I talked incessantly to strangers about various things I had heard that related vaguely to my fledgling puffin-like understanding of the Pacific Northwest.  Here is a sample of my conversational gambits:

1. ·     So I heard Opra bought a place on Orcas Island, eh?  (optional response)  But what I want to know is, is she running for president?
2. ·     Did you hear them announce the Lopez Island stop back there?  Ha!  Yep, I didn’t think this (ferry) stopped there!
3. ·     Are you from around here?  (optional response)  I’m from Nebraska (end conversation)

I would invariable end up telling people that I was going mountaineering on Mt. Baker.  So, that eventually transpired as my friend Tyler and I woke up bright and early to meet up with our group at the American Alpine Institute in Bellingham, Washington.  Here are a few of the things involved in the mountaineering:

1.    Our guides made sure we had the right gear.

2.    We took a before photo.

3.    We backpacked along the Heliotrope Trail up to a nice camping spot at around 6,000 feet above mean sea level

4.    We encountered a bold canine

• 5.    We practiced some fun self-arresting behavior, knot tying and roping in for glacial travel 
• 6.    It snowed about 9 inches, obscuring crevasses and delaying our planned alpine start (1:30 a.m.).
• 7.    Although we did not get near the summit, we had a nice “glacial tour” that was enjoyable, informative, and scenic.
• We pooped into bags filled with laundry detergent.
• 8.    We beheld a laconically aloof mountain goat from a distance

9.    Upon our survival and return to the parking lot, our guide generously meted out portions of a refreshing watermelon

All the good photos in this post were taken by Mrs. Snot.

As I have previously stated, we are now back and I even had the pleasure of participating in the always awesome Rollin' to Colon.  We rode quickly and easily with the wind, and then fought the wind and made it all the way to Colon, where the Red Zone looked quite open and alluring.  But I am unfortunately at an age where I am boringly responsible in most regards, so I forewent the RZ and instead made it back to the road for some more pedaling.  It was at the last Power Stop, before we missed our turn back to Valley, that I learned the following things:

1.    The American Cancer Society recommends that a person at average risk for colorectal cancer start getting screening done at age 45.  There are 2 primary methods for testing – a stool sample or a colonoscopy.

2.    Colon hydrotherapy is kind of like an enema but not smelly and you may be able to request it at your chiropractor.  I think it’s primarily for people who have colon cancer.

I enjoyed a tour of the inflatable colon:

Great to know!  Thanks people from the Great Plains Colon Cancer Task Force and the chiropractic nurse who was riding in Rollin to Colon.  

I was thinking of heading out to the Taco Ride one of these days but it’s been kind of soggy around here lately, which has been great for the kale!

The mulberries have been ripe and delectable.

So I hope your summer is going well.  Please enjoy a vacation, mulberry, and or colon health screening at your earliest convenience.

Summery blessings to you, your loved ones, and the rest of your family!
-BSO

Wearing Yellow and Memorializing it!

May 27, 2018

Hello again!  So good to be here!  I hope your Memorial Day weekend/summer-related event has been as superb as you hoped!

Well, I have had the pleasure of participating in the 2018 Wear Yellow Ride event and here are a few highlights:

• I signed up for the 57 mile gravel option because my friend Rich thought it sounded good (or something)
• It was kind of wet and the dirt mixed with the gravel to form an extremely fast-setting concrete as evidenced by this image from my friend Rich who subsequently switched to pavement

• I also switched to pavement because I figured it would be a bit easier and just as enjoyable
• I won gift certificates and popcorn and candy from Family Video!
• I didn’t take many photos this time, but I was enamored with the striking blue color of some of the roadside grasses that was accentuated by moisture from the same light rain that had affected the dirt and gravel. 
  

• There were a few wineries, and a few that weren't.  I wouldn't have minded a stop, but I would have missed all the after-ride festivities!

• It was great!  My cousin informed me that his taint was sore for a couple days.  I informed him that one can build a tolerance towards taint pain by more bicycle riding (or lessen its effects by using Chamois Butt’r, or the perfect saddle). 

As you may have noticed, the weather has become summery.  If you are concerned about such things, here are a few outfits you might try to look good whilst bicycling around town for whatever purposes you have in mind.  Nothing wrong withshorts jorts and a t-shirt, though, right!?  

Here is a summary of a few summery bicycle rides that are coming up in the area in the relatively near future:

• The appropriately entitled Omaha Bike Ride, which begins and ends at the delicious Taste of Omaha event is on June 3
• Bicycle Ride Across Nebraska (June 3-9) which starts in Ogallala, home of the (allegedly) delicious Open Range Grill
• Tour de Nebraska (June 20-24) which begins in Plainview, home of the purportedly delicious Mary's Restaurant and the Post Cafe (avec accente sil vous plais)
• Pint-a-gon rides every month or so
• Psycowpath mountainous bicycling races (still a few left)
• and of course there are always Taco Rides to enjoy on Thursdays

As you might have noticed by my rather superficial treatment of my bicycling experiences lately, I have been preoccupied.  I am focused primarily on our upcoming family vacation.   One fun event that I am looking forward to is learning some mountaineering skills on a glaciated volcano!  Although bicycling and walking uphill in funny footwear with backpacks on do not seem to be similar activities, they do have a few things in common (I think, having never done any mountaineering):

• It is good to downshift from time to time 
• Finding a comfortable position (or at least not horribly uncomfortable one) is key to a good and fulfilling experience.

I will let you know how that goes. 

In the meantime, please send me any lists you care to compile and I will do the same.  I am currently listing hard to port due to my celebratory awareness of the Memorial Day weekend!  

Blessings to you and your ancestral fighters!

-BSO

If the shoe fits, ware!

April 15, 2018

Greetings to you!  The last time I recall interacting it seems we were both a little worse for the ware.  The ware-creatures, known as lycons, that is.  

https://marcosweirdo.tumblr.com/post/144200650856/werewolf-fixie-rider-almost-ready

These ancient creatures have been roaming around, out and about, etc.  Along with many other 2-4-legged mammals.   Here are some humanoids enjoying the outdoors.  

I bring up the ware-creatures because it was near the time of the full, geese-coming-home moon that we last held council. 

Many bicycle-related events have transpired since then.  Here is a summary of the items that I’ve experienced:

1. I bought some new bicycling shoes
2. I got two flat tyres
3. I adjusted the cleats on my new bike shoes
4. I started wearing bicycling shorts because of recent upsurges in temperature
5. Wear Yellow Ride bike back to its original condition and is for sale

Here are the bicycling shoes I purchased:

https://www.pearlizumi.com/Shop/Ride/Mountain/Men%27s/Footwear/Cycling%20Shoes/Men%27s_X-ALP_Summit/p/15101809027

Here are my previous bicycling shoes:

Let me say a few things about bicycling shoes equipped with the Crank Brothers Egg-Beater style cleats: 

• I sometimes got hot foot with them on longer rides (20+ miles)
• Then I bought some carbon-soled shoes and it seemed to help with the hot foot.  These shoes are now mostly worn out (although still usable for the occasional longer ride).  

My Lake shoes came with an exhaustive list of things that could go wrong with the shoes, most of which can be fixed with “silicone-based adhesive.”  

So I applied liberally and haven’t used them since.

When I went in to The Bike Rack to purchase my new shoes, I was assisted by an enthusiastic young store associate whom I shall call Jack.  Jack got me a few different pairs of shoes and was quite attentive.  I stated that my shoe size was 42.5.  He responded that “I think cycling shoes just come in whole number sizes.”  Well Jack, my dear boy, let me introduce you to Lake bicycling shoes. 

They are great, especially if you have a proclivity to liberally applying silicone-based adhesive like me! 

My new shoes are great too (although I had to settle for a size 43), so far, although I haven’t yet tested them on any longer rides (32+ km).  And they have Vibram soles.  I like Vibram soles on my hiking boots because they provide excellent traction, are quite durable, and wear slowly.  But I’m not sure how necessary they are on bike shoes.  I don’t intend to walk much in them, but I guess it means I could easily stop and go for a comfortable hike if I get tired of all the bicycling hither and yon (yawn). 

I also got 2 flat tyres.  The reason for the first flat was not readily apparent to me.  Here are a couple of three photos that may (or may not) provide a clue:

The third photo was taken underwater and is supplied only for your confusion/consideration.

As it turns out, my tyre tube was having it's "throat" slit near the base of the valve.  I think that might have been due to the rim tape slipping due to an under-inflated tyre.  The first time I mostly blamed the tube and just quickly replaced it without examining the area around the rim hole  (optional rim shot).  The 2nd time it happened, I figured that there was some contact between the rim and the base of the valve and quickly consulted the inter computer-based web.  Lacking at that time a de-burring device or a new roll of rim tape, I settled upon creating a gorget for the base of the valve, which I did with much hope and gusto.

Thus far I have not suffered another deflating episode.

So, for a variety of situations, I entreat you to protect your base!

As previously mentioned, my new shoes fit well.  However, I was experiencing some slight knee discomfort and I just felt that my foot wasn't quite contacting the pedal in the sweet spot.  So I took a gander and here is what I noticed:

I like my cleats in the way back (machine) position in order to minimize the afore(foot)mentioned "hot foot."  Also, as you may be able to discern, I had not placed the cleats evenly on the sole. The right shoe's cleat was too far towards the outside of the foot.  So I adjusted them thusly,

and now things are great!

So that's what's been going on with me lately.  In closing, here is a photo I took on the first day of spring.

It looks a lot like that right now.  Grumble, grumble, bitch, bitch, whinge!
Your whiny,
BSO

13 moons of taking credit

March 20, 2018

Dearest Reader,

How many moons has it been since we last met?  Hmmm.  I think you’re right!  About one or so.  I have recently become more interested in moons because Snot Jr. has a book entitled Thirteen Moons on Turtle’s Back.  I also recently witnessed a supermoon.  

Morning Supermoon When Geese Come Home

Evening Supermoon When Geese Come Home

I believe we have recently experienced what the Umoho tribe refer to as the Moon When Geese Come Home, and now the Little Frog Moon is waxing (on).  Each moon (cycle) is typically considered to begin as the moon begins to wax after the time of the new moon. 

It is also a time of year that is commonly known as spring.  Here is a symbol of spring.  The tyre. 

And the robin.  

Forever may they safely dance together as in days of yore.  It is also the time of conceiving.  And the time of the snipping of the vas deferens.  That is right, Mrs. Snot and I have almost agreed that we don’t need to be chasing any more rugrats around for many more moons than we already have  to come.  Also, I figured it would give me some I don't need anymore time to relax, spend some quality time with my balls (and ice and liquor), and catch up on some tv.  Here are some shows/movies I’ve recently thought maybe I'd I'm glad I don't have to watch while recovering from my puncture wounds:  

• Portlandia (because it has bikes in it and might be funny, although I've not heard anyone tell me it was funny yet)
• The Expanse (because it has space and, possibly, space bikes)
• Archer (because it is definitely funny, and I bet either Cyril or Kreiger will ride a bicycle at some point [although neither of them have yet and I'm already on Season 3])  

Recently I have been trying to contribute towards the wellness of the clan by performing one civic duty per moon, although so far it’s more like one per season.  In order to receive credit for my recent contribution I used a method known as photo documentation.  Here is what occurred: 

As you may have surmised, I gathered up some chunks of asphalt that were at the place where the multi-use trail meets a road at the bottom of the hill by Kitty-Cat Holler.  I then transported them to the place where the multi-use trail meets the railroad track and pitched them into the scree at the base of the place where the level crossing meets the grass. 

For my next act of civic duty, I intend to be voluntarily sterilized conceive many more civic-minded babies.  Although both of these acts are primarily selfless, they are secondarily self-serving.  For act 1, the chunks were in an area where I am typically reaching maximum speed on the Ol’ B (maybe about 30 mph, I’m guessing?).  Therefore, a direct hit with an asphalt chunk may have resulted in a dreaded endo onto pavement (aka endo-CRACK!).  Now with the chunks out of the way, it seems less treacherous, although there is still a mid-sized pothole that is less visible without the chunks to mark its periphery.  As for act 2, there are never enough is enough already!  Seriously, though, the kids are great. It is a biological imperative to produce as many offspring as possible in order to win the genetic battle royale.  It’s a battle of the head and the heart, as promulgated by the recently banjo-deprived Mumford and Sons just as Robert Smith always said.  Never Enough.  

My heart told my head let love grow (by uniting with a female human’s egg and developing into a human child).  But my head told my heart, this time no, this time no (the human population is quite robust as it is, my contributions may be more valuable in other areas) okay, let's go, yes let's go.

So there you have my cockamamie notions and admirable acts of mostly selflessness.  I’ll keep you informed of my efforts to spread peace and somewhat selfless acts of penance/gratitude.  Thank you for your contributions and credit.

Restfully yours,

BSO