Bike Snot OMA: Let's try that again!

May 30, 2014

Firstly let me wish you a happy bicycling month before it's too late! Shwew! That was close.
Conditions this past Thursday were ideal for a taco ride. I got to the trailhead a little late. Greg – the wise and gregarious patriarch of the taco ride, shown here transporting a bicycle in need of a fix

- complimented the Old Bastard. “A classic” he called it. “It’s been around awhile,” I responded. Then he said “that thing's almost as old as you!” Haha! I am 42 and the O.B. is 24, so I guess we do have the same digits, just in a different order. I didn’t argue with Greg. I pedaled with youthful vigor until I reached the large gathering at Margaritaville.

I met a guy in a taco outfit.

Then I met a bunch of former co-workers. The taco guy seemed like a good guy. He told me that his 7-year-old son had learned to weld out by Silver City a while back. Building some sweet ramps to jump off of. That’s pretty sweet!
If I had a 7-year-old and he could weld I might ask him if he would like to weld together a sculpture of some type for the upcoming bicycle-themed art show at the Smiling Turtle Art Spot. Here is some info about it, but beware ye! I plan on entering at least one or two pieces of “art” in an attempt to get rid of a bunch of bike parts that I’ve got lying around in the garage. I can’t weld, but I do use a lot of J.B. Weld. I also like to drill and bolt shit together. As I was complimenting Taco Man on his garb, he confirmed my suspicions that the chicks totally dug the costume but the guys were less enthusiastic. He was also pretty sweaty, so I suggested sewing some inside pockets into it so he could carry some ice packs to maintain a safe core temperature – atomic tacos are only fun if they’re inside you, not the other way around. What!? WhadidI say?

I did not leave M-ville as quickly as most of my acquaintances, possibly people were making up excuses to avoid conversing with me due to my uncanny combination of youthfulness and cantankerousness that confuses the kids.

I eventually decided to pedal onwards towards Mineola. On the way there I noticed that there was an ambulance on the trail.

I am not sure what happened, but I would like to encourage bicyclers to stay well hydrated and somewhat focused during taco riding events. I walked O.B. around the ambu and rode on for a while. It was then that I notice things weren’t quite right. I eventually realized the source of not-rightness came from a lack of air in my rear tyre. “Egads! What caused this inconvenience!?” I bethought to myself. My discomfiture was apparent as many passers-by asked if I had what I needed. “Yeah.” I responded cheerily, as if having what I needed were a regular occurrence. This time I actually had patches and a new tube. After patching I inflated only to note that there was another hole. That damn thorn had gone through both sides of my tube!

Like some kind of piercing for my tube! Since another patch would have meant 3 patches on one tube I decided to retire that one.

I got to Mineola where there was a band that appeared to consist of two members playing outside and a karaoke duo inside. The captain of the karaoke team was Funky Bear and his taciturn co-pilot was Tommy T.