Splish, splash, sploosh!

January  30, 2016!?

As I splished and sploshed my way homewards, I came to an intersection with some sun-in-yer-face.

Hmmm, thought I, could make it difficult for motorists to see all/some of my three rear lights.  So I took a pastoral detour along a multi-use trail 

and past the construction site.

Quite relaxing and enjoyable, old chum, quite so. 

Here is a bicycling bill that may make it to the Nebraska legislature for a vote sometime this session.  Here is an article about the topic that I spied in our local newspaper.

In response to your questions and concerns, legislators, I have sent you the following statements:  (to be determined once I finish my snark attack).

To be honest, I don’t really think much about laws when I am bicycling.  I just want to be safe.  But I am sure I would be more concerned about laws if I were involved in a collision.  The current law is not explicit in protecting bicyclists in crosswalks, but it should be. 

Here is an insightful/inciteful analysis by our Senators Brasch & Smith:

Sen. Lydia Brasch of Bancroft said she has seen bicyclists ride from sidewalks into crosswalks without paying any attention to motorists. Sen. Jim Smith of Papillion, the committee chairman, said he is concerned that giving cyclists right-of-way could also give them a “false sense of security,” when they should try to avoid collisions.

These senators seemed to be hinting that are boldly speculating that, should this bill pass, the crosswalks would soon become crammed and congested with inattentive bicyclists with headphones on and dogs loping lazily behind.   Ah, what a beautiful thought!  I would also like it if the crosswalks were grassed so that I could graze my goat and picnic upon my travels as well!  I would state as much in my letters, but I think the foot in the door approach might be more prudent at this juncture.

But, slightly more seriously, yes, Senator Smith, knowing that I am legally protected will immediately lower my fear of being struck and perhaps injured or killed by a vehicle wielded with abandon/near impunity/God's will by a texting teen or a sleepy septuagenarian. 

And Senator Brasch, yes, the danger of bicyclists not paying attention to motorists is nearly as serious as the threat I face daily of mass shooters unleashing hellish terror upon my cranium and sphincter (I know what you’re shooting for, you bastards!), which is why I have my concealed carry permit securely stashed next to my respirator in my survival bag securely stowed in my voluminous Nashbar pannier. 

Senator McCoy stated that he didn’t think it was necessary to remove the stipulation that bicyclers must use a multi-use path when it is available and, “Stay out of the damn street!” 

“How would this make bicycling safer?” he querulously queried!

Well, Senator McCoy, it’s because multi-use trails are frequently icy and/or mud-covered and can be dangerous.  Believe me, Beau, this does happen (I would supply photographs, but it’s been cool to cold and icy and I’ve just been concentrating on getting safely from A to B).  It’s not so bad when the mud is frozen like a delicious mudslide, but when it’s really liquidy and several inches thick, it can be a tad dicey, albeit fun.  The icy part I’m just not too crazy about.  It if for this very reason that I've recently modified my usual route to and from my place of working to include some more street bicycling in order to avoid the icy permafrost coating the multi-use trail like a lobbyist’s money lining the campaign contribution-containing pockets of our elected officials.  That shit is slick!

So, to conclude, thank you senators for your time and concerns.  I’ll be sure to get a nicey-nice letter together to illustrate my concerns in a manner that I hope you will address with less snark and more smart than my initial attempt!

Let’s all go for a ride next time you’re in town senators!  Or maybe play a game of Senet.