Wild Mediocrity and Drones!

March 22, 2015

Dear Diary,

You would not believe the amazing past one to few weeks I’ve had!   Have you ever noticed something that has been around for a long time but you don’t notice it for an almost as long time?  Well, there is this cool Hindu temple that I often ride in the general vicinity of, just a few streets over!  I never really noticed how close I was to it because I was keeping my eyes on the road!  Also it isn’t really visible when those pesky leaves are hanging around.  Here is a nice view of it.

Once I noticed it, I decided to stop by for a close up.  

It was at that time that a drone was also flying over, undoubtedly observing those suspicious Hindus.  

 Look out drones!  You know that Ganesh broke off one of his tusks to throw it at the moon when it was taunting him!  He’s still got one whole tusk left!

It is also now officially spring and people are out and about, some astride bicycles.  

Here is one bicycler that was the first spring bicyclist of many more to come to pass me by with a jaunty “On your left!” 

With all this excitement happening, it’s hard to sleep at night sometimes, which has driven my caffeine intake upwards, which makes it even more difficult to sleep.

Well I have heard a lot of talk about getting out for some bicycling lately.  This is not unusual for spring.  Here are some tips for spring bicycling.

1. Wear a pollen mask.
2. Wear flowers in your helmet holes – it will make people smile instead of running you over, but if they do run you over then you will at least look nice when the ambulance gets there.
3. Spring to it! 

For those of us who enjoy some group bicycling, there are a few of those coming up soon –

1. Bike for Sight on April 25
2. Omaha H, W, & F Expo events April 11-12 (Gran Fondue, bicycle riding, biathlon [no rifles or skis required])

Sometimes it seems that there are not enough movies and tv shows about transexuals.  Sure there is Rocky Horror, The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert, Venus Boyz, and Becoming Chaz.  But luckily there is also a mini-series that I rented from the library last week about a transexual hit woman named Mia called Hit & Miss.  It stars Chloe Sevigny who is an actress and also a former model.  And to top that all off, she's also an avid bicycler.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2398686/Chlo-Sevigny-sticks-usual-quirky-style-tie-dye-denim-skirt-cycles-town-dashing-boyfriend.html

The show's not that new, but then again, neither are any good rock and roll albums.  Here's an older folk song that's not that great either.  

But the dancing and the stage presence is what counts!  

If ya like new stuff, here's a new bicycle wheel design using springs instead of spokes.  Just stay away from the new Drive by Truckers album because it ain't that good.

Let's ride!

Ice-warming thoughts and occurrances

March 4, 2015

Hey homebodies!  What is your 411?  Zoiks! 

Here is a photo of the bike multi-use trail the day before yester.  

A. or 

Here is a photo of the street this a.m.  

B.

Which one is slipperier? 

What, I can’t here you?  Oh, here let me try this.  Please click on either the A or the B relating to your choice.  If you are correct you will see my favorite ever J Roddy Waltham youtube video ever!  If you are incorrect you will see a King Khan and the BBQ Show youtube video for which I apologize profusely in advance.

That is correct!  It was sooo sliipeeeerrryyyyy!  I slipped and slid and fell and walked and rode on the grass.  Luckily I had my trusty SPD cleats (with nicely worn down rubber so as not to interfere with the bite) to dig into the ice a bit.  

Also, as often happens, I thought of something that I should have done, but only after I was no longer bicycling/walking.  I could have let some air out of my tyres to increase their contact area!  Here are some other helpful icycling tips.

What is news?  Oh, yes.  Here’s something else in addition.  I read an article in Outsidemagazine about some alleged conflict between bicyclers and motorists.  What?!  Why a week or so ago a few motorists gave me a friendly honk to warn me of icy conditions and simultaneously encourage me in my lonely bicycling ways.  How do I know this was the intent of their honkiness, you might be asking?  Well, I chased them down and yelled at them while screaming inchoately at their steering wheels in a jealous rage of human-powered frenzy.  Haha!  Not really.  It just seemed friendly, and they were short honks, not long angry honks.  

Also, a motorist just waved at me for no particular reason on my homeward jaunt this eve.  It was grand! 

As if that were not enough life-affirmingness for one day, I also took a photo of a local mountain range that looks like it might be good for ice climbing.

How about them current events?  International Women’s Day is on the way!  Go women!  And as an ass-side, I would like to apologize to the women who I hurt throughout my life.  As Chop Top Sawyer would say, “Dog will hunt!”  And as I would say, you are better off without me (not including you, Mrs. Snot)!  It has been my experience that men are generally not as nice as women.  Women are generally awesome.  Let’s check out Harry’s update on the situation:

 Let’s all ride bicycles, party and get whooooooo!

Cold loch

February 22, 2015

Hello again!  What is new?  Oh my goodness!  Well, I’ll be!  

My old-timey u-lock holder broke the other day.  I believe that the coldness made the plastic brittle.  

Or it might just have worn out.  Although the Bastard has had a u-lock attached to his frame for most of his existence, I may just switch to a cable lock if I can’t find a u-lock holder that will fit.  I’ll be sure to let you know how that all turns out!  Oh the suspense!

Here are a few of my fellow bicyclers I’ve seen around the past week or two.  

I’ve also experienced increased gregariousness with fellow bicyclers and pedestrians as we greet one another.  I took a photo of the new green machine, after which the owner offered to sell it.

The countdown towards a bicycle-related movie here in Omaha is on!  That’s right, we can all meet up down at Aksarben theater on Wednesday to watch Chasing Legends.  It is sure to be a blast!  I am not sure what this movie is about, but it I am picturing a combination of Chasing Amy and I am Legend, which should be a lot like Zombieland, but with more bicycling.  

Hey did you know that bicycling may encourage your already creative spirit!?  It’s true.  Here’s a video that was made about a song that was inspired by a bicycle ride one of the band members experienced.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkbi9F7GnkI

This video is my favorite video that was not made by my favorite artist, who is, of course, Badly Drawn Boy.  The only thing that would make this video better is if they were wearing druid robes for at least most of the video.  I would also like to have a druid’s robe modified for practical bicycling wear.  I will get back to you on this!  More suspense!  Hopefully less chafing!

Andrew Dunn - http://www.andrewdunnphoto.com/

Glasnasty!

February 10, 2015

I do not presume to be all that knowledgeable about bicycling.  But I do ride my bicycle more than some.  Occasionally someone asks me about the possibility of riding their own bicycle to their place of laboriousness.  To which I attempt to hide my inner scoff and reply straight-facedly:  “Oh, yeah?”

I then relay to them my various habits/methods to make bicycle commuting feel fun, safe, and happy la-la.  I try to be brief so as not to bore:

1. 1.     What route would you take?
2. 2.     I suggest riding the route on a non-working/non-busy time of day before riding to work to allow some time to familiarize and identify some potentially difficult intersections/areas.

I followed that 2^nd bit of advice last weekend because of the snow and ice that had taken up residence on many of the areas between me and my work at the lathe refurbishing co-op.  It was sloppy and there was some snow and icy hummocks to ride through/over.  It reminded me of those carefree days I used to spend bicycling up and down the unpaved paths of dirt.  From hither to thither to yon and back and forth again!  Ah.   

We have undergone something of a warming here in the Midwest as of late.  It is similar to the warmer relationship that the Soviets (or Sovs in Judge Dreddian parlance) and we USians experienced during the heady years of the 80s.  This is the opposite of what many Ukranians are undergoing, which is more of a horrific look into the future by the great Ukranian visionary Nostradamus.  A glasnostrodamus will hopefully one day bring the sweet Babooshkaish side of Putin out to dance gaily with a harmonious eastern Europe and northern Asia.  During this glasnost, I found the following items that appear to have been until recently frozen in snow like a wooly mammoth on the steppes of Siberia. 

I also received an e-mail advertising this bicycle-related film that is being shown here in Omaha on February 25.  There is also an exciting cajun-style bicycle swamp-eat shedyoualled for March 8, 2015.  

So let’s all enjoy the warm glow of the screen and/or the vodka fueling our love of Russian women, if not their ambitious leader and unmarked military vehicles.

Peddle your PM-pedal-power towards the Peace Train Putin!  

www.dailymail.co.uk

Wool Socks!

January 14, 2015

This morning I was riding my bicycle down the hill when my feelings became cold.  Mostly the feelings in my facial sensory receptors.  I had forgotten my safety glasses!  I went back and got them.  My feelings were still cold!  That’s because it was cold!  

Now it is nice and warm, and I am drinking a seasonal beer as is my wont. 

I’ve been enamored with my new bicycle taillight that I received as a gift from my friend Nick.  You are a saint, Nick!  My backside is now as well illuminated as Rudolph’s feral eyes.  They gleam in the dark like angry dolphins stranded in an Antarctic calving glacier.  The taillight 

provides some lines on the pavement as a kind of mobile bike lane in addition to a normally flashing taillight. 

Speaking of the poles, it is the time of year when my thoughts turn to my favorite book – Endurance by Alfred Lansing.  As you may know, it is the inspiring story of a gang of bearded explorers who become stranded in an ice floe down Antarctica way.  During the first 20 pages or so they are aboard a vessel named the Endurance.  The Endurance was designed to cut through ice with a strong, sharp, narrow hull.  Other vessels, such as the Fram, 

were designed with wide flat hulls to pop up and stay above ice floes as a means to maintain it’s freewheeling ways.  These vessels are similar to the two views on winter bicycling tyres:

1.     Heavy bike with well-inflated tyres with studs or at least an aggressive tread will maintain contact with the pavement below the snow or the texture of the ice to keep you stable and moving in the right direction.

2.     Bike with wide tyres rises above the snow/ice yet maintains a large surface area of contact with snow/ice/pavement and allows you to stay afloat above the treacherous conditions that lie beneath like a lurking leopard seal.

This analogy is also similar to the 2 questions I imagine people asking me when they learn of my cold bicycling feelings:

1.     Wha?!  Why?

2.     What kind of booties were you wearing?

The answers to these questions are “Whhoooowwwiiiee!” and “None!”  I still recall the mild-mannered Englishman who sold me my last pair of Shimano shoes.  In response to my concern about my feet during winter riding he stated, “You just need a good pair of wool socks.  A good, thick pair of wools socks.” 

I think Shackleton and the boys would agree! 

January 17, 2015

This is quite a heat wave that we are currently experiencing! 

Here (at ModeShift Omaha) is a summary of a new bill (LB39) that is intended to promote bicyclists’ safety and options.  The following sentence stood out to me as a scary possibility under current Nebraska law:  

Under current laws, a person on a bike that is riding lawfully in a marked crosswalk could be ticketed for failure to yield if hit by a person in a car.  This is especially problematic for multi-use trails that have at grade street crossings.

The MSO site has a lot of things you can do to support the bill - contacting senators and attending the hearing among them.  Say, that reminds me.   I should probably be using my time more productively! I'll be back!  Ride safely!