13 moons of taking credit

March 20, 2018

Dearest Reader,

How many moons has it been since we last met?  Hmmm.  I think you’re right!  About one or so.  I have recently become more interested in moons because Snot Jr. has a book entitled Thirteen Moons on Turtle’s Back.  I also recently witnessed a supermoon.  

Morning Supermoon When Geese Come Home

Evening Supermoon When Geese Come Home

I believe we have recently experienced what the Umoho tribe refer to as the Moon When Geese Come Home, and now the Little Frog Moon is waxing (on).  Each moon (cycle) is typically considered to begin as the moon begins to wax after the time of the new moon. 

It is also a time of year that is commonly known as spring.  Here is a symbol of spring.  The tyre. 

And the robin.  

Forever may they safely dance together as in days of yore.  It is also the time of conceiving.  And the time of the snipping of the vas deferens.  That is right, Mrs. Snot and I have almost agreed that we don’t need to be chasing any more rugrats around for many more moons than we already have  to come.  Also, I figured it would give me some I don't need anymore time to relax, spend some quality time with my balls (and ice and liquor), and catch up on some tv.  Here are some shows/movies I’ve recently thought maybe I'd I'm glad I don't have to watch while recovering from my puncture wounds:  

• Portlandia (because it has bikes in it and might be funny, although I've not heard anyone tell me it was funny yet)
• The Expanse (because it has space and, possibly, space bikes)
• Archer (because it is definitely funny, and I bet either Cyril or Kreiger will ride a bicycle at some point [although neither of them have yet and I'm already on Season 3])  

Recently I have been trying to contribute towards the wellness of the clan by performing one civic duty per moon, although so far it’s more like one per season.  In order to receive credit for my recent contribution I used a method known as photo documentation.  Here is what occurred: 

As you may have surmised, I gathered up some chunks of asphalt that were at the place where the multi-use trail meets a road at the bottom of the hill by Kitty-Cat Holler.  I then transported them to the place where the multi-use trail meets the railroad track and pitched them into the scree at the base of the place where the level crossing meets the grass. 

For my next act of civic duty, I intend to be voluntarily sterilized conceive many more civic-minded babies.  Although both of these acts are primarily selfless, they are secondarily self-serving.  For act 1, the chunks were in an area where I am typically reaching maximum speed on the Ol’ B (maybe about 30 mph, I’m guessing?).  Therefore, a direct hit with an asphalt chunk may have resulted in a dreaded endo onto pavement (aka endo-CRACK!).  Now with the chunks out of the way, it seems less treacherous, although there is still a mid-sized pothole that is less visible without the chunks to mark its periphery.  As for act 2, there are never enough is enough already!  Seriously, though, the kids are great. It is a biological imperative to produce as many offspring as possible in order to win the genetic battle royale.  It’s a battle of the head and the heart, as promulgated by the recently banjo-deprived Mumford and Sons just as Robert Smith always said.  Never Enough.  

My heart told my head let love grow (by uniting with a female human’s egg and developing into a human child).  But my head told my heart, this time no, this time no (the human population is quite robust as it is, my contributions may be more valuable in other areas) okay, let's go, yes let's go.

So there you have my cockamamie notions and admirable acts of mostly selflessness.  I’ll keep you informed of my efforts to spread peace and somewhat selfless acts of penance/gratitude.  Thank you for your contributions and credit.

Restfully yours,

BSO 

   

Brown Dog on Ice

February 19, 2018

Greeting from the recently enacted New Year of the Brown Earth Dog!   I hope it’s all you were hoping for.  I am sure you have a lot to be proud of.  Please inform me of the specifics as you like.  I, too, have been blessed with many goodies.  For example, I have recently been enjoying some banana bread that was provided to me by Snot Jr.’s Godmother for a Valentine’s Day gift!  

Yes, it is delicious.  No, I haven't shared.  Happy Valentine's Day.  Also my friend Tyler and I are planning on climbing on a mountain later this Dog Year.  It is sure to challenge my moderate fitness.  I have already been training for the far-off excursion by running for 0.8 miles and doing some push-ups, crunch-type exercises, lunges, and squats (no weight, please).   I have also been infrequently getting up and walking up and down the stairs instead of sitting around all day.

I can tell that you are curious to hear more about the Yearof the Brown Earth Dog and what it might mean to you.  Well let me check on that.  The dog is known for intelligence and protection.  There will be some activism and some big new projects.  It may be a good time to start something new. 

It was too icy for me to bicycle today, but if I lived near Lake Baikal, perhaps I would  have mustered enough gumption to head out for a spin with these smooth jazz lovers.

Wishing you icy smooth nerves of caution and the calmness of a frozen lake for the young dog year.  Time for an iced bong hit?  Ask the dog, my friends, the dog may hold the answers you seek?
BSO

Conditionally going in snow

February  6, 2018

Hello and it is great to communicate!

How have you been?  I think I see.  Please elaborate at your whim/discretion/whimsical direction.

Bicycling when it is snowy out is a great way to interact with your fellow hominids.  Although I do not specifically seek snowy bicycling, I typically enjoy it in relatively small doses.  I figure since I live in Omaha there’s not enough snow around to really develop a snowy bicycling habit.    Here are some conversations I enjoyed whilst bicycling back to my residence yesterday.

(While turning onto a snowy side street)

Shoveling Woman 1:  Bicycling?!  You’re crazy!

Me:  Huh?

SW 1:  I said you’re crazy to be bicycling!

Me:  It’s kinda fun, but a lot more work!

SW 1:  Yeah.

(While walking the Old B across the street to a sidewalk to avoid Shoveling Woman 2)

Shoveling Woman 2:  Unintelligable.

Me:  Huh?

SW 2:  That hill’s tough even on a good day!

Me:  Yeah.  A lot more work today!

I am not a great conversationalist whilst bicycling.  Nor I am a great bicyclist.  I need to concentrate on my bicycling to compensate for my lack of skill in both areas.  

Anyway, the shovelers gregariousness was appreciated and I had a fun ride home.  I do not ride in the snow often, but I gradually remembered that it the traction is often better in fresh snow than in the compacted snow out on the streets.  In order to keep my wheels in the path of least squirelliness I spent a good bit of my ride home on sidewalks.  Either that or the rare parts of the street with visible pavement.  And lots of ye olde putting of the foot down (aka dabbing).  Although a little dab will do you, a whole lot of dabbing kept me feeling comfortably upright.  In general, people had done a great job of clearing sidewalks and even some multi-use trails.  Here are some of the conditions that I witnessed/enjoyed:

Smooth rolling through some fresh powder atop sidewalk.

Beautifully cleared multi-use trail.

The roads featured some compacted snow.  Not much traction for enjoyable action

As I was bicycling in and out of gradual snow slopes on the underpass, I noticed the entrancing sound of my tyres in the snow as the pitch and volume increased and decreased with the amount of snow.  Although I did not go back to record the beautiful experience, I did make a video of a tyre and snow trio a bit later in a less dramatic setting:

In other bicycling related news, it seems that Omaha Bicycle Pedalers are again bringing a bicycling film to the Aksarben Cinema.  This time it is a bicycling classic entitled American Flyers.  It begins at 7 p.m. on February 22.  I am not sure what it is all about, but it is always nice to get out to socialize with some fellow bicyclers and enjoy feeling the camaraderie that is not often a part of a typical commute.  I will see you there!  There is also a bicycle swap meet the OBPs are sponsoring that occurs on March 11, 11-4.

Have you  been out for a drink or anything lately?  I have!  Awhile ago, back when the pavement was clear and the snow was limited to grassy and/or mulched areas, I met up with some compadres at the Thunderhead Brewing Co.'s tap room.  The beers were very good, if a bit pricey.  There is also a large stash of board games, some couches and a few different kinds of popcorn.  I had a delightful grapefruit IPA and the Cornstalker dark wheat.  

Great to catch up!  We'll have to do it again soon sometime!

Bicycler, snow thyself!

-BSnOw

Canfield's of Nostalgic Dreams

December 22, 2017

Just as Cinderella pointed out to me back in junior high, sometimes you don’t know what you got ’til it’s gone.  This is how I assume many people feel after a locally beloved business/institution closes.  The place that we are now losing here in Omaha is Canfield’s.  When I was a kid I seem to recall it was somewhere downtown.  Dad took us there a few times before we went up to Canada to fish one summer.  We got some fishing supplies and several ponchos.  I was fascinated by the military surplus supplies, which evoked the excitement of my little plastic army men, but scaled up to grown-up size.  Before going up to the great northwest to work in the salmon industry I stopped in to purchase a surplus of supplies, including a synthetic fill sleeping bag and a big army stuff sack to fill with my many camping and cooking supplies.  I had to accept help from a passerby in Seattle to get the thing hoisted up onto my shoulders to walk down to the bus stop to get to the processing boat.  I still have many of those supplies, including a hand ax that I have never used to chop anything.  Climbing shoes, work boots, work pants, an R2D2 fishing rod for Snot Jr.  I wasn’t there a lot, but it was nice to know that they were always there when I needed them.  Usually when I was leaving town.

The last time I was there I glanced around and realized they’d cut down on their floorspace.  The work clothes and army surplus supplies seemed to have been nearly, if not completely, absent.  There was a bicycle department.  Quite a few full-suspension Yetis (are there any other kinds?) and a few road bikes, mostly Specialized, I think.  Not really my thing.  It seemed to have lost most of its uniqueness.  I could get everything they had at other, bigger shops with more to choose from.  They did automatically price match my work boots, which cut the price by $50 - now what kind of way to do business is that!?  Well, the big chain shops have been here in town for quite a while.  Cabela’s/Bass Pro, Duluth Trading Co., and Scheel’s were just down the street.  Not to mention Campmor and Backcountry reaching their ghostly hand into the pockets of outdoor supply purchasers.  Their corner on the market had become a small corner of the market and, apparently, become too small to be profitable.  

So thanks for the memories and for sparking my imagination and wanderlust. As a friend of mine once said about living in Omaha - it’s kind of an intellectually inclined place because there’s nothing else to do here so people sit around and read a lot.  It was also nice to wander around Canfield’s and picture yourself out adventuring someplace else with mountains, lakes, and/or rivers.  

So if you need a few more Christmas gifts, you might want to stop by Canfield’s for some nostalgia and/or great deals on outdoor supplies (including full-suspension Yetis and Specialized road bikes).  

-BSO

What are you looking for?

December 6, 2017

Chilly Salutations from the cold heartland,

How is the start of this holiday season treating you?  Great/shit!  Wow!  Same here!  I’d love to hear more about that.  Here are a couple things I’d like to relate to you.

1. I noticed that I had some frozen snot on my still fairly new MEC Mica pants.  I guess that snot rocket misfired.  But such is the fate of many exploratory missions.  
   
2. I lost my wallet (pronounced wall-AY,  kind of Fonzee, kind of Wall-E) because I didn’t zip my pannier lid!  When will I learn to zip my damn panniers!?   

Allow me to expound upon these items.

1. Snot is sticky.  People can be sticky too.  Or slick like Teflon.  Which are you?  I hear you.  Let’s stick with that.  Right!?
2. Aren’t we all looking for something?  Maybe something to eat?  Something to drink?  Someone to love?  Some sleep?  Well, I felt a bit sticky sheepish as I looked for my wallet.  This isn’t the first time I’ve lost my wallet by leaving my pannier lid unzipped.  Maybe I should just put my wallet in the main compartment of the pannier where it is virtually impossible to lose.  But then what would I do if I stopped at the grocery store and the wallet was in a hard-to-reach location underneath my lunch containers in the pannier?!  What!?  Dig!  That is what I would do.  I can dig for it, if need be.  But we all want convenience.  Well, let’s see if I learned my lesson.  I’ll get you an update one of these days.  Anyway, while searching for my lost wallet, I resolved to either reward the finder of my wallet (if returned) with all the money in my wallet - $41.  Or, if I found it myself, I vowed to give $20 to the next person I encountered who was in need.  I decided that would include a Salvation Army bell ringer.  I thought about the human situation.  About how sometimes we feel so slick, together, and aloof, and how the next moment we feel foolish and needy.  Well I felt blessed to be happily reunited with my money and identification.  Here is where I found my sweet wallet.  Great to see you again!

Here are some photos I wasn’t really looking for, but I just happened to accidentally encounter.  Maybe I’ll use them when I try to sell my Big Shot Wear Yellow Ride bike - it just doesn’t fit me very well.

Ben Watts girls on bikes shoot - https://vimeo.com/30574825

Although I don't want to overthink the presence of these lovely ladies with these bicycles, I kind of wonder how they really feel about them.  I mean, I like bikes and would be glad to pose in a similar manner, but I couldn't get sexy with it.  I did come up with a few jingles a while back.  Maybe I'll share them with you later.  Whether you're looking for jingles or not!

Warm and non-sexy regards,
BSO

Deking Out!

November 11, 2017

Do you ever feel like you would like to take a break from all the hustle and bustle that is frequently a part of modern life?  The news can be depressing.  Your workplace unrewarding.  Your family alternating between demanding and stand-offish.  I know!  Me too!  Well luckily we have bikes and space.  For most of us, going to space is unlikely.  However, we can dream about it and watch plenty of movies about it.  Bicycling, on the other hand, is a get-away that many of us are able to enjoy.  But, unfortunately, it is difficult to enjoy both of these awesome things at the same time.  No, I don't think riding on a Surly Moonlander counts.  Fortunately, and unbeknownst to many of us, we also have the Deke Slayton Bike and Space Museum in Sparta, Wisconsin (the Bicycling Capital of America)!  Mrs. Snot planned our last family vacation, but was kind enough to include a stop at the DSB&SM on our trip.  Although our visit was several months ago, I have somehow not yet taken the time to document the glories we experienced at this bicycle and space lover’s paradise.  Here are a few of the items most entranced me. 

 

A folding Huffy!?  Yes!  It's the 3-speed Touriste!  And one of at least two John Deere bikes on display.

Rural highways always have room for another JD!

Here's something to aspire to someday.  2 things, really - riding a penny farthing and bicycling into my 80s!

Behold the Pegasus!  It may have had a rocket booster and a soda dispenser!

Add caption

There was also an ice bicycle with outriggers and a mountain bicycle ridden by a Wisconsinian in the Iditasport.

All lit up again

November  10, 2017

Hola guachos y chinas,

Blessings to you from the heart of USland.  Let us ride with gallantry and pageant.  

We here in the midwest are now thrown off the hot shackles of daylight savings time.  My lights have been at full blaze for the past month or so.  I currently enjoy deploying the following set of lights at all times or more:

1. NiteRider MiNewt 750- good headlight.  I always keep mine attached to my helmet.  Cord may not hold up to yo-yoing with the light.  Shocking, right?  Nite Rider fixed it up for $50.  Good customer service.  
2. Bontrager FLare R - rechargeable rear tailight and very reliable so far.  Will see how it takes winter conditions.
3. Planet Bike Beamer 3 LED - gift from my father in law.  Good up-front beam to help me stay visible.  Good enough to function as a headlight if you aren't in a hurry or if you're on familiar terrain. 

I also frequently activate this little fella that I’ve got strapped to the back of my helm:  

As I was recently coasting down the neighborhood hill I startled a pedestrian who jumped back when she espied my illumination.  As I braked to a more conversational pace she declared, “You scared the daylights out of me!”  Well bike lights will do that to a person, I reckon!  I sometimes have a mild sense of nervousness when I consider the silent menace we call the hybrid vehicle - they might sneak up behind me without any audible forewarning!  Aaaaccckkkk!

Here is the one fellow cyclist I occasionally encounter, typically at Chatty Corner, on my way to and from the grain silo at which I am employed:

Butt serious; however, let’s get lit!  Snot Jr. went to sleep before 11 tonight, so I am getting crazy and drinking a Belgian style ale and typing!   Whew-ha!  

Not much out of the usual happening here.  How about you?  Well, I don’t really know what to say about that.   Will you please send me a written explanation with or without a graphical representation of your feelings?

I have been treating my wrist discomfort with the usual gluc(osamine) and chondroitin. 

We Nebrascyclers have got some work to do, if the League of American Bicyclists rating system is worth its weight in chamois butter.  We are woefully unfriendly towards bicyclists here  in the C-huskerplex.  We came in 50th out of 50.  And this with a governor who is an avid cyclist!?  Oh the shame!  I feel like it is all everyone else’s fault!  I am moderately active!  I ride hither AND thither on my 2-wheeled companion I like to call the Bastard.  Or B for short.  What more do you ask of me LoAB!?  Do you want me to quit my day job and devote myself full time to bicycling and/or bicycle advocacy?  Speak to me great LoAB!  I am your vassal!  Let these motorists be freed from their plastic and metal enclosures to experience the great freedom of skinnier and fewer tyres!  Well, maybe I can find some great goal/mission to liberate the box-enclosed masses from their self-imposed, somewhat comfortable traveling prisons.  

Well, I went out to the movies last night and saw Le Ride, directed by and starring one of my good bicycling buddies - Phil Keoghan.  He came by one time for a bike ride with me and a few  other close friends (he was riding across the US to raise money for fighting MS).  Le Ride is a film about PK’s epic bicycling adventure with another of his good bicycling buddies named Ben.  I think he might have asked me to participate too, but his invitation must’ve gotten lost in the mail.  Do you have my current address PK?  It’s 8515 No. Kizmiaz Rd., Phil.  Is that so hard to remember/write down, Phil!?  Anyway, it’s a good thing you didn’t ask me to go because I’m very busy getting ready for my own top-secret epic adventure that I will tell you all about later, whether you want me to or not!  

Anyhow, PK and Ben intrepidly set off to ride the 1928 Tour de France.  As all of his close friends know, Phil is a Kiwi, which means he hails from the island of New Zealand.  In 1928 one Kiwi, Harry Watson, set out to ride in the TdF with 3 Aussies.  I think the press dubbed them the Austrasian team.  There were only 4 vs. the average team size of 10, so they worked very hard and the elder statesman of the team, at the ripe old age of 38, became overly fatigued after several crashes and 200 mile days in the saddle.  He sadly quit and rode in the car.  And he was very sad to sit in a car - just like all us motorists normally are because we are not bicycling!  Right!?  

This film was brought to my/our town by a company called Demand Films, which I trust will continue to bring great movies to me right here.  I demand!  Of course that movie gave me a good excuse to hop in a car to make it over to the movie theater so I wouldn’t have to freeze my Nebrass off bicycling in this chilly fall weather!  Shwew!  

Your puny,

BS