Cicadas! Envelop!

September 13, 2013

Saying hello from under helmet in echoey shelter.

Saying goodbye and thanks for the lift at the bike rack.

These were my summary notes based on my cicada experience which ensued 1 week and 1 day ago.  Oh that heady day of 2-wheeling noisiness!  Cicadas are about as ubiquitous as short shorts these days.  I was riding along following my picnicking at a Lincoln park when a loud buzzing next to my ear startled me out of my complacent smilingness.  “Yawahah!?” I exclaimed!

I shook the critter out of my helmet.  It perched contentedly on my pannier 

until I had arrived forthwith at the city campus of UNLiness where I resumed my demanding role of self-appointed bike czar (locking up my bike and heading into the Student Union guzzle caffeinated beverages and skim multiple texts haphazardly).  The cicada flew off once I lifted the pannier lid and as far as I know is living here happily ever since.  

This episode raised many questions?  For instance:  

1. What will become of Omaha’s beloved bike czar since the new mayoress has assumed the throne?
2. Don’t these people playing Magic - the Gathering in the Student Union have jobs or studying or something?  If not, maybe they should go clean their rooms because I bet they are messy?  Or get outside and LARP a little?

Since I am now freely roaming the halls of academia, I conducted some research, and I shall now present the results of this research in regards to the aforementioned questions thusly:  Whaa?

Here is a photo of the bicycle-related club who was out in the grassy area known as the Selleck Quadrangle, but affectionately reefered to by students and faculties alike as “the wrangle.”:

As you may know, UNL has been honored with the silver-medal of Bicycle-Friendly Campusness by the League of American Bicyclists.  As glorious as this designation is, the bicyclers at UNL would like to attain gold level this year by adding some painted-in or signage-adorned bike routes/lanes in the upcoming futureness.  

“Good job!” I enthusiastically congratulated these co-czars.  I attempted to explain/assert my grandiose status as self-appointed czar, but was politely ignored as the attendants turned to address more comely and more femaley students with an interest in bicycling.

Cicadas make a lot of noise.  It's kind of their thing.  But what, you are undoubtedly asking, was Mel Torme's kind of thing?  Sure he could croon, but check out this video.  He's scattin' like Rex Allen yodels!  And that ain't no shibbity-poinkety-poink, cicada-baita!

   

September septasticular!

September 1, 2013

Happy September!  Do you like September?  I thought so!  It’s great!  

Another great thing is the 131 miles of bike paths in the city of Lincoln, Nebraska!  Capital!  Or is it capitol!  Indubitably!  According to my calculations, this appears to be approximately 29 more miles than Omaha!?  Here is my source for the 131 figure, which may or may not be a credible one.  I should follow up on this sometime.  

There are a lot of bicycle trails in Lincoln of that you may be sure!  Here is a park along a trail where I stopped for a pleasantly shaded lunch.  

There was a drinking fountain, which I verified before settling down for my repast.

Do you like to eat lunch outside?  Of course!  This naturally leads to my next question:  Would you like a large wooden bike rack?  It’s hefty.  It works pretty good for big bikes with skinny tubes, not as well for small or oddly shaped bikes.  What size is this bike rack you might be asking?  Well, stop it!  Size isn’t everything!  It’s 78” tall, 24” wide, and 25” deep.  It’s freestanding as fuck too!  

Oh yeah!  Lots of rusty nails sticking out of it at odd angles to hang helmets and other accoutrements up on.  If you’ve got room for it just let me know, you can have it.  It’s in my back yard right now and I just use it for hanging my watering wand on, but I could just put it on the table.

What is going on?  Fun stuff?  Sweet!  Here are some things that sound kind of fun:

1. Festa Italia - this weekend (8/31-9/1).  A Father Guido Sarducci might be there again.
2. Applegrass Bluegrass Festival - also this weekend, bring the whole family!
3. Oktoberfests - there’s one at Gerda’s next weekend (Sept 6-7).  Also one at the German American Society towards the end of September (20-21st).
4. MS Bike Ride NE starting in Bellevue on September 7 and continuing on September 8.  
5. Omaha Creative Week - from August 30-September 8.  

Have fun.  I’ll be doing my homework.

What do any of these events have to do with bicycles, you may ask?  Yes, you may.  And I may answer thusly:

1.  Italians all love bicycles.  Some of the even make them.  Isn't there a famous bicyclist or 2 from there?  Also I think Father Guido Sarducci often bicycles.

2.  This event is in Iowa.  All Iowegians love bicycles.  There are probably some Iowegians that make bicycles, too.

3.  Germans love bicycles.  But they must be properly adjusted otherwise they may frown.  They might even make some bicycles, but I think they mostly prefer to evaluate and adjust them.

4.  You probably weren't wondering about this one.

5.  Creativity and bicycles go together like creatine and biceps.  Having typed that, I don't think there are any bicycle-specific events.

Bicycle-related fun is hard to avoid, so look out!  ON YER LEFT!  HAHAHA!  FUN!

Syrupy Stowaways and Rocky Forgiveness

August 21, 2013

As will often happen, I found myself outside a bar speaking with a hippy panhandler discussing literature.  He recommended Loren Eiseley, a famous anthropologist and philosophical memoirist from the Lincoln, Nebraska area with whom I had not been previously acquainted.  That was about 10 years ago.  Last week I finally made it down to my local library where a book of his entitled The Night Country caught my eye.  There is even a library named after Dr. Eiseley located in Lincoln, but I haven't been there.  One of his childhood memories involves him jumping on the back step of a salesman’s horse-pulled cart and riding out of town and up the hill to a rich man’s manor.  Inspired by this venture as well as an urge to take a minor leave of absence from Baby Snot, who has become increasingly demanding in his actions and defamatory in his remarks, I fled heedlessly into the back of this man’s pickup truck.  

Luckily the 11 hour ride was pretty relaxing and we eventually ended up at a place called Summit Lake where I was discovered asleep in the back of the luxury cruiser/pickup truck.  I explained myself to this man, who I will hitherto refer to as “Bob,” and was not shot or incarcerated.  Instead we did some hiking and backpacking in the Steamboat Springs, Colorado area.  We took a day hike on the Continental Divide Trail (as far as our flatlander lungs could painlessly take us [up to some scenic overlooks, but not all the way to Luna Lake] and an overnight backpack trip on Newcombe Creek Trail [not far off the CDT]).  

It was quite enjoyable.  I took some photographs of some animals 

and plants 

and tyre tracks upon a trail.  

Further investigation has convinced me that this is the questionably named "Red Dirt" trail.  Although Bob and I did not bring any mountainous bicycles to experience this dirt, we did discover some artifacts.  

Bar None Syrup!  circa 1960s or thereabouts?

Perkins Pickles of Denver, circa of life!

There was some lovely scenery, which was slightly hazy, possibly due to a fire in the vicinity of Salt Lake City.  I also danced, strummed my mandolin and dug privies in an attempt to ingratiate myself to my erstwhile benefactor.  I met up with these two men 

and attempted to become a stowaway in their lama’s panniers/saddlebags.  I was, however, this time detected whereupon I was spat upon by the men and kicked by the lama.  Or was it vice versa?  Luckily the long-suffering Bob was amused by these asinine antics and generously threw a pretty rock he had picked up along the trail at my fool head.  As I carried on and gamboled away the days in this carefree and wanton manner I was reminded of Jerry Jeff Walker's classic “Mr. Bojangles” song, performed here by Mr. Sammy Davis, Jr.

 

I jumped into the refreshing Summit Lake.  Then Bob generously took me back home and unceremoniously booted me out of his majestic conveyances and onto my stoop after I had drunk most of his coffee and all of his beer in several fits of anxious spasticity at the thought of returning home to my diminutive tyrant of a baby and the rest of my family.  Although disgusted by my shirking of my duties, my family's anger was somewhat ameliorated by my gifts of pretty rocks with which they pelted me to show their acceptance and forgiveness.  

Ah, it's good to be home!  Let's bicycle!

Kansan Cities or Bursting!

August 13, 2013

Too many of us residing in the USiness of homeliness and/or hereabouts, it is that time of the seasonal cycle when many head out and about on a bout or two of what we call “vacationing.”  I engaged in such an enterprise with many a family member recently.  We ended up here – on the Missouri side of Kansan City.  We saw a few baseballing games.  We saw their bike share setup near Union Station.  

And a bicycler encountering some briskly moving pedestrians.

And an advertizment for a sky biking expedition 

which was sure to be phenomenal, probably one of the greatest experiences of mine or anyone's life, but which we forewent due to an overwhelming family propensity for cheapness/thriftiness.  We ate many foodstuffs (not shown here as we were too busy eating).  ‘Twas a delight of mini to moderate proportions.  

So I survived a big trip and now I'm looking forward to another one!  I'll be back!

In the meantime, how was your trip(s)?  Viva la vacaciones!

Bikes, Quilts, Challenges? Hmmmm.

August 6, 2013

As you may or may not know, today may or may not be August 6, depending upon where you are and when you read this.  But do you or don’t you know that there are many options for logging your bicycle commuting miles and feeling like a part of a commuterty/communter team/make up your own cutesy phrase?  Although I was aware of and may have commented upon this one previously, I became aware of this other one thanks to my local library, where I had previously mistakenly believed that my garage door openerhad been ganked.  Subsequently I realized that it was in my other pannier.  Subsequent to that I washed my garage door opener in a pair of my shorts and now it doesn’t work.  So there!  The Heartland Commuter Challenge is only in August, so there again!  Here's the flyer

Here is a quilt that is on display in the library. 

If you think that one's phenomenal, then just wait another 10 years for the big dadddy - The Sesquiltcentenial Extravagonzo!  

As you may or may not know, quilting and bicycling go together like commuting and challenging, so here is a website that is focused on bicycles and quilts (and swimming).  Also, here is a quilt that has bicycles on it.  

SF Winterfest Quilt 2009

Since I spend the majority of my 2-wheeling time in Lincoln, Nebraska, I have become aware that there are many bicycle shops in that town.  I am not really surprised, since I have noticed that there are many bicyclers out and about on a typical summer's day on the non-trafficky streets of Lincoln.  Here is one.  I haven't been there, but the website looks nice.  Sounds like the proprietor may even build a bike for yer ass!  You could probably even work out an arrangement where you bring your quilting supplies and work in the shop while the proprietor is working on your frame!  Maybe some type of bartering might occur.... who knows!  That's what's so exhilarating!  

Moscow Bike NIght for Gay Pride! BYOV/M comrades!

August 2, 2013

Alo comrades and comradettes!  I must break you!  I mean I must break wind!  Ahhh.  I feel so much better now.  What is up with all this Russia news these days?  First that Snowden of thieves ran over there to defect his defective ass and now I am hearing about additional Russia-related events during my long hours of commuting to and fro my czardom at the University of Nebraska-L.  That’s right I am now up-to-date on many of the current events promulgated by the well-intentioned folks over at NPR.  I begin most sentences with “I heard on the radio the other day….”  I also won a bet on 9 out of 10 rappers now preferring moscato to Cristal.  Yep, NPR.  I guess rhyming with potato is better than rhyming with y'all these days. 

royaltypr.com 

Here is the scoop on Russia:

1. 1.       Moscow is the most expensive city for expats.
2. 2.       They’ve got a midnight bike tour of Moscow that attracts thousands.
3. 3.       They have some repressive statues statutes laws in place for homosexuals.
4. 4.       People are protesting item 1 3 by dumping theirStoli vodka….out!  On the street!

Item #4 may seem like alcohol abuse to all you conneiseurs lovers of vodka, but it isn’t.  It’s solidarity, comraders.  Alcohol abuse would be making Moscow mules and then pissing in them and then kicking their ass mules mules’ asses.!?!?  What are you braying about!? 

In regard to item 2, it seems that these Velonochs have surpassed racing bicycles on gravel roads and are gaining on the grand fondues in popularity/status/moscato.   Sounds great!  But what about those Bike Nakedevents?  Shouldn’t those be getting into the mix of all this competition for gloriousness?!  Well, I think that they should be, and I farter further stink think that it is only a matter of time before a naked GLBT midnight ride through the streets of Moscow occurs!  Za zdorovje, bitches and bitchettes! 

Here in Lincoln/Omaha things have been going to hell swell.  I have been bicycling hither and thither and yon and have been enjoying bicycling over up to 3 2overpasses/day.  

27th St

48th St

It is a great feeling to transcend the non-trafficky streets of Lincoln and gaze out in various directions.  Even our great state capitol, aka the penis of the prairie, is visible from one of them, but of course I didn’t get a photo of that because I suck.  I did get some photos of some cultural attractions along the multitudinous bicycle trails adorning Link Town like an elegant tasseled veil.

I also felt a little bamboozled by the sight of this invasive species in our typical corny bicycle habitat here on the non-tropical plains.

  I guess corn and bamboo are related.  Like vodka and moscato, eh commierods!?

Can't see/think straight? What else is new?!

July 28, 2013

What is this?  This thing?  We call.  Life?

As Mr. Shatner often heard from his long-suffering engineer Scotty, “I can’t hold ‘er together much longer, cap’n!”

Thing are actually great, thank you for asking.  I’ve been driving my mighty Metro out to Lincoln, parking, pedaling, learning, pedaling, driving, parking, studying.  That kinda deal.  And I’ve been told I’ve got a family around here somewhere…  Although coherence has never been my strong suit, it is becoming less so these days.  I have less thyme for my sophomoric ramblings and way more time for my junioric composing of academic hyperbola. 

But I felt like I needed to show you a bunch of photos relating to my new bicycling terrain.  Here they are.

Lincoln has apparently decided to plant some trees in the parkways.  The new 2 for trees project or some such.  Sounds good to me!  Omaha, please plant one on the corner so people stop running over my sidewalk and grass and instead just run over a small, helpless tree.  Is that better? 

It seems like there are way more bicyclers riding around the streets of Lincoln than there are here in Omaha.  But I didn't get any good shots of them because I suck. 

Also people riding those long skating boards.  Often with flip-flops on their feet.

I hear there was a gravelly fun time out at the Walnut Creek Lake area a while back.  The Gong Ride!  It sounds like a fun time and here is a classic video/T. Rex cover to honor all participants for their hard pedaling and lugie hawking.

I also hear that there is a bikey event coming up, such as the Corporate Cycling Challenge on August 18.  Probably lots of other stuff too.  I'm really not sure because I'm just trying to hold it together, cap'n!  I've got a gift card to some bike shops, though, so maybe I'll stop in and try to figure out what the f is going on these days!  See you there, chappo!  See you there.