The Old Bastard

March 18, 2011

Warning: this blog is concerned primarily with bike geekiness. Continue reading at your own risk!
On the way home I stopped at the local bike shop (LBS) to inquire as to the possibility of getting a slightly larger cog for my converted-to-single-speed mountain bike commuter. I had made the conversion about 2 years ago to make the bike simpler and to have fewer moving parts and therefore fewer potential problems to deal with.

Well, I got into the shop and attempted to describe the part I needed- “a 20-tooth cog that can slide over the freewheel of a mountain bike.” My bike jargon is not the greatest, but I was still slightly surprised when the certified LBS-grouchiest of all retro-grouches that I’ve encountered, who had been suspiciously studying me sideways, stated, “Can’t be done,” and began muttering to himself.

I was well acquainted with this retro-grouch, as I had actually purchased the bike in question from him in 1991 ($400). I was not sure that my description was accurate and/or easy to comprehend, and so I offered to bring the bike in so they could have a look. His partner (obviously the more customer-oriented half of the duo) affably agreed.

I got the bike in there and the retro-grouch stated, with what I interpreted as a kind of cautious-near-enthusiasm, “Oh, yeah, that’s an old, bastardized Bridgestone,” and began to mutter grouchily to himself, questioning why this set-up had come into existence. I was a little surprised because I thought that single-speed conversion had become fairly commonplace these days.

I said, “Well, I’m just a little tired of working so hard, I’d like a slightly larger cog on here.” He eyed the other cogs on the freewheel, and I explained they were just there for spacers. The affable one went in back for a minute and came back and informed me all they had was a 17 toother.

I thanked them and left, thinking to myself, “Hmmm. That’s one guy that doesn’t seem to mellow with age, if anything I think he’s become more cantankerous.”

I rode home and found the part online for around $6 and placed my order. After further thought about the incident at the LBS, I realized that one good thing about the experience is a good nickname for the bike: “Old Bastard.” Somehow I think our beloved retro-grouch would be very slightly, grudgingly amused by it.