Comfort and Rodentia

August 3, 2011

The proud order of Rodentia has been paramount in my mind lately as I've been perusing Owls aren't Wise and Bats aren't Blind during my leisurely breakfasts of tomato omelettes or shredded wheat with milk and tomatoes. I have learned about various members of this family, such as beavers, muskrats, and tree squirrels of four varieties - red, gray, northern flying squirrel and southern flying squirrel. The thing that impressed me the most about squirrels is that they will eat young animals of most any kind given the slightest opportunity. So hide the children and look at these wild predators with new, slightly fearful eyes.

This rabbit reminded me very much of the frightening rabbit in Donny Darko.

Maybe they won't see me behind this scary, yet hypnotic rabbit.  Yeessss.  Come closer...

Waiting to pounce?  If you've got training wheels, you might be food!

The wild appears to be among us!

But what if you are more of a mild, relaxing type, such as I? Well feast your eyes on this domestic beast!

Call this ingenious contraption what you will, I am guessing that you will not call it a wild squirrel. It is labeled Day 6 Dream 7. A quick glimpse of the website reveals that the most important part of the bike isn't some fancy backward-tensioned derailleur or suspension lock-out-on-the-fly-switch, rather it is YOU! So if you like the idea of riding a bicycle, but are worried about the unnatural ergonomics of the standard upright bicycle and the high likelihood of being flattened while riding a recumbent bicycle a Day 6 bicycle is just what needs YOU! The Day 6 bicycles are sometimes referred to as semi-recumbent. That could just as easily be considered semi-upright. So feel that semi and get up to buy one, because it needs you and your urge for a semi. And once you get there you can just kick back and relax. Cup holder is a reasonably priced option.

In a drastic withdrawl from the dangers of the outside wild-ness, I retreated to the unsatisfying comfort of the mall where I was able to procure a beverage that complimented my outfit.

I stood around sipping for a while as mallers eyed my with respect (due to my color coordination) and amusement (due to my helmet hair). I felt like Johnny Carson reborn, and even tried a few air-golf swings- slices, and sticky shoes, damn.