Mode shiftiness and the TRAMP

Well, as usual I am excited about a bicycling-oriented event that is coming right up and that I may have mentioned here and here and here.  Yas, it is the Heyday on May Day show of support for bicycle transport and civic acceptance and planning towards bike friendly routes that we believe will be included in the Transportation Master Plan (TRAMP) which will be unveiled tomorrow.  Whew.  Long sentence.  Hope that makes sense.  I understand that there are some rides originating from various parts of town that will converge on 25th and Harney in a show of pro-bicycle sentiment.  I hope to see you there.

Speaking of pro-bicycle civic actions, I hope that you noticed the recently passed legislation that mandates a 3' distance when passing a bicyclist in a motor vehicle.  I am thankful to the Nebraska legislators and all the people who helped get this law on the books.  As I small token of my gratitude, you will  may be receiving a cupcake from me in the mail as soon as I get around to it.

Today I met a nice woman with her brother (what, that was your son?  Noooo.).  Out on a bicycle ride with a mission.  She informed me that she is planning on bicycling all of the bike paths available in and near our fairly fair city.  Well, that is a pretty good mission.  How many bike paths do we have?  I will check into that.  Here's a pretty good website with some trail info.  I will get out my ruler and my trusty, but slightly out-of-date 2008 Omaha Metro Area Bicycle Map and try to give you a distance just as soon as I get those cupcakes in the mail.

Have you ever dreamed of a place where you could park your bicycle under a tree in a parking lot on a rainy day?  Me neither, but there they were!

Nothing like a sheltered parking spot and some bicycle friendly civic action to put a smile on my face.  Let's roll!

Bicycle + style?

April 28, 2012

I have noticed that bicycles and accessories have become more fashion-oriented in recent times, although this is not saying much, since prior to current times bicycling was afashionable (i.e., without style). One place to observe this new trend is at the enjoyable Thursday night Taco Ride on the Wabash Trace Trail. Some friends and I got our taco posse together and rolled out for a bracing romp through the countryside. Here are some striking bicycles, accessories, and a couple of their owners.



Flasks and flask holders available at Greenstreet Cycles



When I mentioned the pink tyres on the above bike to the owner of the following bicycle,

she took it as a challenge and vowed to obtain some pink fenders for her classic ride.

The newly classy back room of Tobey Jack's Mineola Steakhouse wasn't quite full,

so we kicked back for some tacos and fish sandwiches. I proceeded to mash them together for what I like to call the fish taco salad grandissimo! Ole! Just in time for Cinco de Mayo! con upside down excalamacion y accento bastardoes! Que noche bueno!

This weekend I went to the free admission/Arbor Day celebration at Lauritzen Gardens (more on this later).  Then I made it down to 13th Street Coffee and their fairly recently-opened used bookstore, where I witnessed some bicycle/art window dressing.

Enjoyable excursions are beginning to occur with more frequency since the weather has begun to nicen up nicely. Hey, I hear it's almost May Day. And everyone is talking about the exciting Hey Day on May Day. It is exciting as it is vaguely defined. I think the idea is to turn up to show that we bicyclists are many in number and are hoping for safe routes round and about town. I think that many of us bicyclers will bicycle over to 25th and Harney where they will have a section of the street set up like the soon eventually to be built separated bicycle lane. Instead of reenactments pre-enactments of this possible future will be enjoyed and envisioned. In order to aid my envisioning, I am planning on eating some garden-variety plants that I learned about while attending the Lauritzen Gardens current exhibit Wicked Plants (certain varieties of morning glories [Ipomoea tricolor and Turbina corymbosa for example] have hallucinogenic properties). Wicked Plants is a darkly intriguing voyage to the grey areas of morality and horticulture. For example did you know that white snakeroot is oftimes eaten by cattle. Cows are unharmed, but their milk becomes poisonous to humans. Drinking snakeroot-laced milk apparently killed Abe Lincoln's mother at the age of 34. I felt slightly smarter after attending this exhibit. This is probably good, because in my free time I have been watching lots of bad comedies, which make me feel slightly stupider. The last three movies I've seen have been Anchorman, Semi-pro and I'm about to watch Hot Tub Time Machine. (See, I'm pretty sure those aren't even the last three movies I've seen, since I haven't actually viewed HTTM yet, but I can't remember what I saw before Anchorman....huh?)  First I need to get in my own tub to wash off the slight, stingy itchiness I've been experiencing since I went to that dangerous Wicked Plants show.  Ugh, I should've stayed on the path and instituted a "no-licking policy".  Doh!

Look up, look down, LOOK OUT, look around...

April 24, 2012

Sometimes it seems as though the world can give you a sign.  Especially if you are aware of your surroundings and you like to think of things as signs.  Well, today on my way to work at the ballet supply store I noticed what was surely a sign from heaven.

I'm not normally aware of any surroundings, but the construction cones and barrel obstacles had heightened my senses - almost as if I were a true urban animal, like a squirrel.  On a bicycle.  Wouldn't that be funny!  I'm pretty sure I saw that on a commercial or on a blog or something recently.

Speaking to of animals, did you know that this Friday is the 2nd Annual Race Against Extinction?!  Wowza!  Save them turtles!  Dodge the hawks!  And always keep an eye out for signs from above, with proper safety glasses in place, dammit!

What else has been happening?  Why of course the new Transportation Master Plan (TRAMP) unveiling block party on May 1st of course!  Here's some additional pub that I happened to catch with my newly-found keen awareness of my surroundings.

Oh, and did I happen to mention that this month is Distracted Driving Awareness month?  So LOOK OUT, dammit!  Stop looking at rainbows and keep your eyes on the roads you bastardos!

Then I looked up and saw that Venus was in transit right above the large moon.  They were right in my face dammit!  No keen awareness required.  Look it up.  And you might have to duck.

Earthy bicycling

April 21, 2012

It is high time that I report on the exciting trends and events that are apparently transpiring right before my very eyes and passive mien. Yes, there seems to be a fairly formidable effort towards increasing transportation options in the hamlet of Omaha. I may just be getting caught up in the Earth Day publicity and the lingering buzz of the pleasant beer garden. But I don't think so. A band called Icky Blossoms was energetically performing some loud, electronic, dance-friendly tunes. I enjoyed their enthusiasm and the cool climate. I even started to attempt a video of them performing a tune that I think was about sex and the devil. Of course, like many things in life, my leisurely start meant that the song was through before I started recording. What I did record, though, was this enthralling slice of life video featuring a repeated request for the unheeding personage known only as "Roz."

I think the next song was about a devilish toddler dance.

I am pretty amped up by all this bicycling-related interest. Additionally, I have learned that the usual Bicycle Omaha Commuter Challenge will be part of a new event of extraordinary magnitude known as the National Bike Commuter Challenge, or some such. And I am pleased to inform that the new forum allows for some serious smack talking. Yes, it is indeed an intoxicating development to contemplate.

At the Earth Day event at Elmwood Park, I also met up with some earnest and personable young men from Mode Shift Omaha who were generating buzz for an event called Heyday on May Day to mark the unveiling of the ultra-secret, updated transportation master plan (TRAMP). Swept up in the excitement, I began jumping up and down all the way over to this table

 where they had some plants that you could take home and grow and then bring them back to a gathering where a chef would cook them up into some awesome edibles. It is called "Veggie Trails" and is sponsored by the group that decorated the grain elevators down around the 36th and Grover area:  Emerging Terrain.  That sounded alright, but my excitement was ebbing since I knew I already had a bunch of onions and a pepper plant waiting back in my car, awaiting some garden time.

I went to the beer garden in a state of slightly bewildered euphoria at this bicycle cornucopia that seemed to be growing around me in the fertile, beer and composted manure-enriched soil that we like to call Umoho. Let's get on top of two wheels and roll on! Whoooo!

Storms, Justice and the News!

April 18, 2012

Have you been reading the newspapers or listening to the radio lately? Well, I don't blame you. It's generally pretty grim stuff. How about your co-workers? Ever listen to what they have to say? They can be kind of depressing too. I heard a sad story about a man who let his mother starve to death. He got 2-3 years in prison. Then a co-worker endorsed compulsory euthanasia at the age of 65 to ease our impending economic problems here in Mexico's flowery hat known as the USA, in Europe, and in Japan. I tried to gently inform him of some gentler options, such as phasing out retirement as a benefit, as described here.  I just don't know about these elderly people haters.

Do you like justice? Me too. I especially like the vigilante-inflicted variety of justice which is portrayed in every movie made by such great action actors as Clint Eastwood, Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan and John Wayne. That is why I think that these elderly-people-haters should undergo some harsher justice than that provided by our court systems. Maybe they should have to partake in a bloody, bare-knuckled battle to the death with an old person like Jack LaLanne or else maybe spend an evening listening to Clint Eastwood play jazz piano...sober. Kind of like motion pictures such as The Running Man, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, and Bloodsport. That would teach them.

Do you know what knows no justice? Storms. They have been up to some pretty destructive activities lately. A large, well-hydrated, elderly person may have had their ileostomy bag blown away and lodged in a tree as shown here.

Here are some other storm-related photos.

But the news is not all bad. I saw 2 bicycle-related articles in the Omaha World-Herald today. I was stoked! The articles talked about bicycle commuting and how more people are buying bicycles these days! Yay! The article further mentions an ongoing event called the Bicycle Omaha Commuter Challenge which is put on every year by Activate Omaha. It is pretty fun, because you can compete with other bicyclers/companies in keeping track of the number of miles/days you commute. The only thing missing is a smack talk option (hint, hint).  One of the article talked about bike retail sales booming. Well that is great. You retailers are lucky that not all bicycle enthusiasts are stingy grouches riding heavy, 21-year-old bicycles stubbornly up and down the hills of our river town. They also are very busy and may need extra help fulfilling the demand for bicycle service. As the Jerky Boys might say, "You want I bring my tools?!" I'll be over at 11:30 to help out. I work cheap (to go along with the quality of my workmanship), but it gets a little better on a full stomach. Oh, and with a beer or two to wash it down.

Here is the window of an art gallery at Midtown Crossing that features some handcrafted bicycles built by local bicycle builder, Christopher Halbkat.

I understand he will build you a bicycle based on your specific needs. Well that is also great. I also hear that he is going to open up a shop in the Dundeely part of town, hence the Dundee Cycles moniker. I think that it would be pretty sweet to have a custom bicycle. Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure that my personality has been so warped by my abusive relationship with the Old Bastard that a custom cycle built based on my specific needs would end up being pretty much the same as the OB. We are like 2 sides of the same coin. Like storms and justice. Or a custom bike and the Old Bastard.

Do you know who else is affected by storms? That's right.  Birds.

Well indulging my moderate interest in uninformed, amateur birding, I stumbled upon this treasure trove of vaguely bird-related information. It seems to consist of many posts complaining about tree removal and city infrastructure overhauls. Also good bird stuff. It seems that birders can feel as oppressed as many of us bicyclers. But birders generally have a nobler perspective in that they are concerned not only for themselves, but for the birds. And they've got the Lorax and Lorsaw on their side.

Rare Lorsaw sighting.

Tree power, bitches!

Springtime Fun Ride!

April 14, 2012

It's pretty cool to see new things and places sometimes, don't you think? I saw some new stuff during my participation in the inaugural Ride for Sight this morning. It was a mysterious event. Intriguing. Which I think is a good strategy to get people interested. It also forced me to pay attention to where I was going for a change. Here is the map for the ride.

As you may be able to discern, the map is difficult to discern. It was even more difficult to discern because it was my first organized bicycling experience for the season.  I was stoked!  As were many of my compatriots.  This state of stokeness was somewhat distracting when trying to navigate.  (the blister is from applying steel wool to my wheel rims to enhance braking.  And yes, I was wearing gloves!)

I think this was a deliberate, cagey ploy by ride organizers to make the event more like a scavenger hunt/poker run. Signs were few. A few worn, arrows painted at the occasional intersection, pointing indeterminate directions. People roved and rambled across the highways and byways. Scampering about like the abundance of urban animals that seem to have been actively posing for my photos lately. Here is a woodchuck (nevermind, the woodchuck was quite shy, and did not care for paparazzi as much as I think I would).
Here are some geese.

Here are what I suspect were grebes.

And, behold, the majestic turkey.

And here are what I suspect are all American coots. 

The start/finish area was shrouded in mysterious mist as things were getting underway.

The route was quite scenic and the cloud cover facilitated my curious gazing around. We rode through some dunes created by river sediment during the big flood. There were ruins and condemned homes here and there. On the way back I paused to enjoy some of the cultural features. My favorite was the Riverfront Trail, shown briefly in this video clip.

This trail stretches from the downtown area up to Boyer's Chute.  About 19 miles.  Some sections are closed due to bridge work and some flood sediments that haven't yet been cleared.  Here's some additional info on the Riverfront Trail as well as some other local favorites.

I also enjoyed the lawn sculptures at this residence.

We rode past Hummel Park and a steep trail up to a kind of cave in the side of a loess cliff.

This ride was organized/sponsored by the University of Nebraska Medical Center, Whole Foods, and with beer provided by Nebraska Brewing Company.

According to a knowledgeable party, approximately 320 registered riders and 50 walk-on riders participated and/or contributed. The ride raised funds for eye surgery for Haitians.  A local eye surgeon will be travelling to Haiti to perform the operations.

New York Times photo, one particular bicycle ride.

On my way home I noticed that Jimmy Buffet is in town. Jimmy is not only an avid aeroplane pilot, he is also occasionally known to straddle a bicycle as shown here.

I could be wrong, but I don't think Jimmy made it out to the ride.  Next time, though.

Not a bad Saturday. I even made it back before the heavy rains unleashed their irritation upon the earth.

Tight Shorts and Wet Tacoes!

March 30, 2012

Nostalgia. The very word makes one's mind wander back in time. Back to that day underneath the trees with some light and a person and some water and stuff. Ah, yes. How 'bout that time when we went out and got all wasted and you woke up on the roof and Mike Tyson punched our friend in the face for fuckin' with his tiger? Yeah. Those were good times.  I am told that the average person's favorite age is 33. 

Nowadays I don't get out much anymore. Just stand at my upright computing station rocking CDs from the 90s and early 00s mostly. I do spend plenty of quality time with bicycles, which makes things pretty good and/or sad, depending on your perspective.

Yesterday I made it out to the Wabash Trace Trail for some Taco Riding. Not riding on an actual taco, mind you, but riding towards a place with tacos. Or tacoes, depending upon your perspective. My buddy Bob had a sweet, patriotic ride. We got drenched by a localized storm.

We drank a couple beers. Some guy rode by and said something about being mean, but I'm not sure what he meaned. We conversed and wore raincoats. The trail was pretty rutted up, so we decided not to inflict additional destruction and pedaled soggily homewards. Our bikes were covered in a gritty, sandy silt. Ah, those were the days.

Then we got back to the parking lot and the guy with the car next to mine was rocking some Dio-Sabbath. Heaven and Hell tour, 2007. Heaven and hell. Two sides of the same coin. Like nostalgia and tonight! How do you do it? Muscle memory? Just close your eyes? Analyze? Feel, love, sex, food, drugs and crabs? Yes. Yes! Indeed.

April 6, 2012

Whew!  Those were great times!  Nowadays I haven't been bicycling as much.  I've been working out on the farms.  Moving couches out to farms.  Eating muy huevos mexicanos con gusto.  I have convinced myself that I may have tendonitis, and I'm using that as an excuse to lie around with a beer and an ice pack on my elbow while watching television.  Oh, yeah.  Now this is living! 

Feeling stressed?  I recommend a possible affliction as an excuse to take a break from the rat race.  Maybe call in sick.  Play some bocce ball.  Go bicycling.  That sort of thing.  Live it up!  Today is your day, dawg!

Have you noticed that many rock stars wear tight pants that are similar to the type of pants worn by many bicyclists?  Is this a coincidence?  I don't know.  But I do know that I would like to have some tight bicycling shorts with some crazy cool patterns on them like those worn by many past, current and future rockers.  Maybe I will endeavor to create some shorts like this.  I will call my line of shorts "Snot Wear" or perhaps "Sticky Snot" or "Snot Where?".  It is bound to be a short path to ultimate success.  Give me a call if you would like to invest in this soon to be huge financial coup. Remember bermuda shorts?  Well, this will be like that except tighter!  You love it!  LOVE IT!