Crunchy disinitigrating trails of Tranquility

August 4, 2012

As accurately reported here, the all-terrain bicycling trails at Tranquility Park have become very dry.  Here is a photo. 

An abundance of dessication cracks were evident.  Chunks of the trail have broken off.  Why Kokopelli, why?!  Didn't I dance the rain dance (albeit very poorly, according to that female judge with the obnoxious laugh)?  Didn't I save the decals of you riding an all-terrain bicycle?  What more can I do?  Put the decals on my car?  Oh.  Okay.  I'll get right on that.

I was able to get Rich

out for some riding today.  His usual off-road rig (a sleek Cannondale Jekyll) was having some issues, so he gamely jumped on his trusty Bianchi Cross Concept bicycle.  He informed me that the BCC is the star of an infomercial about some health supplements related to a mega-blender of some sort.  Stay tuned for nauseating more details. 

After returning from my outing, I kicked back in my basement where I was treated to some bicycle-related entertainment.  Norbit.  For those of you who have not enjoyed this comedic romp through a young man's shot at redemption from an unhappy marriage, Norbit is kind of like what Pee-wee Herman would be like if he had to get a job, got suckered into a loveless marriage and was black.  There are many other differences between these two characters as well, but they both have a proclivity towards bicycling, which is a bond stronger the compact styrofoam cushioning of a bicyclist's protective headgear.  Neither character deigns to don the helmet of strong protective styrofoam cushioning, blast it all! 

allmoviephoto.com

http://ridesabike.tumblr.com/post/8124545233/pee-wee-herman-rides-a-bike

You may cease your fretting, however!  Here is a comedy program featuring characters sporting many bicyclists' favorite choice in on-board headwear. 

Delightful!  And non-threatening!  They're Kiwis!  They are from a country that wins Olympic medals in sports like rowing (take that you evil twins that wanted to usurp our hero Mark Zuckerberg's rightful empire of superficial communications!) and men's pursuit cycling, but that just makes them extra adorable. 

Kind of like the bunnies that keep appearing in my backyard.  I know it's a romantic backyard, rabbits, but can't you wear some protection or something?  Can I bring the bunnies in to be spayed and/or neutered?  Probably both, just to be safe.  If you are a vet, please come on over and we'll get these cute little fellers fixed before it's too late!  Why, Kokopelli, why?!