Little to no news is good to now know news!? (Venus mooned me)

December 11, 2012

Hey, are you going to that Bike de Lights ride on Friday?  Hmmm.  Sounds good.  I'll meet you there with a big fat bag of holiday spirit!  And by that I mean haggis, ach, lassies!  What's a bike ride wi' no haggis?!  Let's get bedecked and bedazzled and ride around!  Whew yeah!

Did you notice the morning sky today?  Well here's a photo to jog your memory.

A quick peek at the Earth and Sky website revealed that these 2 objects are the moon and Venus.  So know I now!

So what music have you been listening too these days?  Hmm.  Live brass bands.  Yes.  Phonograph albums.  Neat!  I've been enjoying They Might be Giants' John Henry.  I like TMBG.  They've even got a few vaguely bicycle-oriented songs.  Like this one.

And at least one song featuring the moon.

I like to think of the John with the saxophone as the moon because the horn is big, curved and shiny.  Guitar John is Venus because he is my fire.  It is at this time I would like to compare and contrast 2 six packs purchased recently.  Here is one,

 and here is the same one

but in different packaging.  If one were to actually examine these photographs, it is theoretically possible to discern the following:

1. The top photo shows a six pack box that is empty.  I assert that the box is empty because the bottom fell out.  This represents the moon.
2. The bottom photo shows most of the six pack in a different box.  I assert that this box is sturdier than the box in Exhibit A.  This represents the planet Venus.

On an interesting side note, the box in Exhibit B is no stranger to containing bottles that do not contain the same beverage that is advertised on the side of the box.  In what was a first to me, the Lucky Bucket Lager box actually contained Lucky Bucket Wheat!  What?!  Perhaps it is because of the shake up at ye ol' LB brewery.  I hear tell read that Brewmaster Zac Triemert has jumped ship to open his own brewery and distillery downtown.  Borgata.

With all this talk of heavenly objects, it is easy for me to imagine someone asking, "So what about the UFOs and the Mayan Apocalypse?"  Well, here's what.  Yes, it seems that mountain tops shaped like pyramids might be a good place to see our impending alien overlords emerge from their ancient buried hiding places and soar majestically towards the moon or Venus, like a large cicada emerging from it's extended nymph state.  But are they headed towards Venus or the moon?  That is the main controversy surrounding this predicted event.  But what all these predictions may not have caught is that Doomsday may have been postponed, at least locally.  That's right the Doomsday Run has been pushed back to a post-official-Doomsday date.  12/22 or DD+1 as it soon will be nown.

What does all this mean for us Capricorns?  Let's all branch out!  And don't forget your bicycle!  Your bicycle represents the moon, because you are sitting on it.  And your gloves!  Your gloves are your Venus because they keep your hands warm.  Know we now dance!