Fixing the Bastard

November 26, 2019

I hope you are enjoying some mild and/or wild weather/activities.  I have had a few repairs to make on ye olde Bastarde.  I was experiencing some unconscionable chain skipping both before and after replacing my drive train.  So, I took a pretty close gander at the chain tensioner and noticed it had some lateral slop that I felt might be contributing to several occasions of the chain falling off the sprocket.  I was not enjoying unpleasantly anticipating the jarring sensation of a chain toss whilst striving mightily to reach the peak of some of the hills that constitute my 500 total feet of climbing that I endure on a daily basis!  Egads! Egads, indeed!  So I easily removed the semi-circular lock washer needed to fiddle with the chain tensioner attachment bolt and slapped on an outer washer to limit lateral slop.  

Then I struggled to reattach the lock washer and managed to launch it off into a corner of the garage somewhere where it landed clinkily.  I am guessing it’s not really necessary, I might just have to tighten up the bolt every so often.   Then I took out a link on the chain to keep it taut like a tiger wrapped around the tensioner and sprocket.  And thus far it seems to be keeping things in-line!?  Yes!?  Update:  mostly great, one minor chain skip on a climb after several days of riding, so it's certainly much improved but not as perfect as it used to be.... maybe I'll invest in a Surly Singleator one of these days to see if they're any better.

Here's another modification that I recently installed:

Why would I do such a thing?  Hmmmmm.  Well, just write your answer on any unused or lightly used bike component and send it my way and I'll let you know if you're right!  Or just wait until you get to the bottom of this ramblingly incoherent piece of .... prose.  

In other tedious/exciting news, I finally replaced my rear bicycle tyre (a much beloved Maxxis Overdrive Elite with approximately 10,000 miles on it that I have been thinking about replacing for slightly less than a year) with a new Serfas Drifter 1.5-inch diameter tyre!  

So I’ve gone from a 1.75-inch diameter tyre to a 1.5-inch one and the ride feels slightly more nimble, but less cushy.  I am curious to see how it holds up during the wintery weather conditions that surely await, like the gaping maw of a sprocket-chewing Siberian tiger.  Update:  back tyre spun out a bit during some standing climbing in the slush this eve, but not too bad and probably would happen with most tyres.  Since I took the corners quite wimpily I am not sure about cornering, but no big problems.  

As you might notice, I've only installed the rear tyre thus far because my trusty olde Maxxis Overdrive Elite front tyre still has some tread left and I've been busy caulking the driveway.

In other potentially more relatable news, I’ve taken to singing loudly and/or reciting a poem quietly whilst bicycling merrily to and fro.  Here are my 3 main selections:  

Barrett’s Privateers

Lowlands

Kubla Khan

I also throw in a couple others from time to time, mostly “Blowin’ in the Wind” when it seems appropriate and the parts of “Wraggle Taggle Gypsies” that I recall, not to mention the anthemic "Waltzing Matilda."

 Now, at long last, here is the reason I applied some grip!  to my handlebar.  It's the heavy, floppy if unrestrained, Dayblazer 800.  

The strap didn't really keep this heavy piece of hardware stable.

 At first I tried the ubiquitous inner tube wrap, thusly:

But it was still prone to shifting downwards when I heedlessly unleashed the Bastard on some moderately (relatively) steep hills here in the haha.

So, there you have a summary of my activities recently.  Happy Thanksgiving and Black Friday!  Let's enjoy to whatever degree we can!

Your loving BSO-ha!

Oafish bearings

June 15, 2019

Dear Sirs and Madams,

I am writing today to inform you thatIwe have finally got the Old Bastard back together! It was easy!  First I removed the stubborn ol’ rusted stem stump, as explained in painful detail in previous posts.  Then I unwisely decided that the headset should be overhauled due to some very minor grittiness when turning the handlebar.  I took the headset apart and then decided I should get some new caged bearings because the ones in there seemed a bit old and possibly out of round. I went down to ye olde local bike shop (Olympia in Millard, where I had purchased the Bridgestone back in 1991) and got a set of caged bearings.  However, due to the antiquated nature of my 29 year-old Bridgestone, Ed was only able to supply me with one set.  As it turns out, that is probably just as well because I went home and promptly dropped the caged bearings onto the concrete, irreparably bending the cage! Yes, I am a clumsy oaf.  This tom turkey I recently met near the multi-use trail might have done a better job of overhauling my headset than I.  

Then I ineffectually tried to put the headset back together and bent the cages on both of ye olde sets of caged bearings (I think it was due to improper alignment and my moving the fork back and forth which likely bent the cages before they were firmly emplaced within the headset.  It was shameful indeed.  So I took it back to Olympia and Michael expertly assessed the situation and supplied the headset with some non-caged/free-range bearings.  For a mere $51 and some free (unless you count the approximately 2 hours spent in this ill-conceived/misbegotten venture) shame I was back to Bastardizing around town on my trusty olde MB-5.

Now I’ve noticed ye olde Bastarde is more of an old guy’s bike than before, and I’ve even considered getting a bullhorn handlebar to get a bit more aero/aggressive.  But, on the other hand, the more upright position hasn’t been too bad.  I’ve been looking around and enjoying the views of things that I have not previously noticed due to my aero/aggressiveness.  And to be honest, I’m pretty sure I’m older than I am aero/aggressive.  So there!

Now I am ready for Rollin’ to Colon, a lovely pastoral ride which happens to take place tomorrow! Roll on, my fellow clumsy oafs and oafettes (and also any graceful elves/faeries/secret agents who might be reading).

-BSO

Pumpkins to Turkeys and back again!

November 17, 2016

Hello and welcome back.

Where have you been?  Get out!  Me too!!  It was great and awful! 

Here in the Om of aha(!) it is dark by 5:30 all of a sudden!?  Not sure what the deal is with that, but I have been using the trusty Nite Rider mini leg-of-newt 750 to stir up the pot a bit!   Cackle cackle my pretties!!

Ectually, I am gradually beginning to realize that Helloween is over now and I may as well get ready to gobble up some gobbler next week.  Historically I have gone out for some pedaling on Thanksgiving Eve with Greg and the irrepressible Team Amnesia.  Last time we did that, however, we were chastised for not going out with them any other time of year.  So that, coupled with the fact that I don’t usually go outside my comfort zone/home, makes it a bit unlikely I’ll continue the tradition unless one of my comrades in wheels gets me off my ass / motivates me.

There is also Cranksgiving on Saturday the 19^th.  I’d like to go, but if I do it’ll have to be with Snot Jr. in our trusty bike trailer, which he would probably like, but I am not sure I want to load up the trailer in the back of the car to get all the way downtown and I’m not riding with Snot Jr. all the way across town (although in a perfect world I certainly would).    

So now that the dark days are upon us here are the two three main lights I am using these days. 

1. Niterider Mini-Newt 750
2. Bontrager Flash Flare R
3. Planet Bike Beamer 3

They are great!  And I used the PBB3 to power one of our jack-o-lanterns for several all-night frights.  It lasted the whole time and still had some juice left.  That may have been due to these sweet batteries.

And after Thanksgiving we can all meet up and check out this fun band (Gogol Bordello that is)!

Speaking of music, I’ve been thinking a lot about good ol’ Al Jourgensen and his variousfun bands.  I think it’s due to the impending change in the dominant party in our country’s executive and legislative branches.  AJ and his buds were always at their best providing a soundtrack to the GOP 's regime’s reigns.  Here’s a look back at one of their early classics that I’ve only recently come into contact with.

Al is also apparently fond of bicycling, although I haven’t been able to find any photographic proof of his statement back in 2012 saying that he was riding 20 miles a day.

I don’t know about you, but I feel that the streets get busier and more frightening from Thanksgiving to MLK Jr’s birthday.  Due to this notion, I am hoping to get drivers on my side by sporting a reflective “Claus Jr.” on the back of my red jacket and maybe a Santa’s hat to zip-tie to my helmet.  I’ll let you know how that turns out.

Here we go!  Happy turkey gobbling!

Little to no news is good to now know news!? (Venus mooned me)

December 11, 2012

Hey, are you going to that Bike de Lights ride on Friday?  Hmmm.  Sounds good.  I'll meet you there with a big fat bag of holiday spirit!  And by that I mean haggis, ach, lassies!  What's a bike ride wi' no haggis?!  Let's get bedecked and bedazzled and ride around!  Whew yeah!

Did you notice the morning sky today?  Well here's a photo to jog your memory.

A quick peek at the Earth and Sky website revealed that these 2 objects are the moon and Venus.  So know I now!

So what music have you been listening too these days?  Hmm.  Live brass bands.  Yes.  Phonograph albums.  Neat!  I've been enjoying They Might be Giants' John Henry.  I like TMBG.  They've even got a few vaguely bicycle-oriented songs.  Like this one.

And at least one song featuring the moon.

I like to think of the John with the saxophone as the moon because the horn is big, curved and shiny.  Guitar John is Venus because he is my fire.  It is at this time I would like to compare and contrast 2 six packs purchased recently.  Here is one,

 and here is the same one

but in different packaging.  If one were to actually examine these photographs, it is theoretically possible to discern the following:

1. The top photo shows a six pack box that is empty.  I assert that the box is empty because the bottom fell out.  This represents the moon.
2. The bottom photo shows most of the six pack in a different box.  I assert that this box is sturdier than the box in Exhibit A.  This represents the planet Venus.

On an interesting side note, the box in Exhibit B is no stranger to containing bottles that do not contain the same beverage that is advertised on the side of the box.  In what was a first to me, the Lucky Bucket Lager box actually contained Lucky Bucket Wheat!  What?!  Perhaps it is because of the shake up at ye ol' LB brewery.  I hear tell read that Brewmaster Zac Triemert has jumped ship to open his own brewery and distillery downtown.  Borgata.

With all this talk of heavenly objects, it is easy for me to imagine someone asking, "So what about the UFOs and the Mayan Apocalypse?"  Well, here's what.  Yes, it seems that mountain tops shaped like pyramids might be a good place to see our impending alien overlords emerge from their ancient buried hiding places and soar majestically towards the moon or Venus, like a large cicada emerging from it's extended nymph state.  But are they headed towards Venus or the moon?  That is the main controversy surrounding this predicted event.  But what all these predictions may not have caught is that Doomsday may have been postponed, at least locally.  That's right the Doomsday Run has been pushed back to a post-official-Doomsday date.  12/22 or DD+1 as it soon will be nown.

What does all this mean for us Capricorns?  Let's all branch out!  And don't forget your bicycle!  Your bicycle represents the moon, because you are sitting on it.  And your gloves!  Your gloves are your Venus because they keep your hands warm.  Know we now dance!