Pop culture cycle

September 13, 2015

Dear spendthrifts and spend-a-lots,

I am sorry I haven’t written you in so long.  How have you been?  Instead of my usual bicycle-related antics, I have been busy catching up on a few important cultural activities/the following:

1. 1.     Breaking Bad (season 5, first half)
2. 2.     Outside magazine’s Encyclopedia of Gear
3. 3.     Stephen King’s Revival
4. 4.     Bring It On
5. 5.     Wild

Although you might argue that these are not important cultural activities, you would be wrong.  Here’s why –

1.  BB s5:  In the worst ever episode a logistically improbable, if not impossible, train heist is followed by a boy on a motorbike with a tarantula in a jar being shot by a young Ben Affleck Meth Damon (spoiler alert if anyone’s as slow as me as at watching this somewhat depressing series).  This is important because if the boy were on a bicycle he might not have been in the same area because motorbikes and bicycles typically don’t travel at the same speeds.  Also bicycle riding is very quiet and tiring, so he might have been either too tired or too quiet….  nevermind, I’m just sad…  Also Walt shoots that nice older gentleman Mike (spoiler alert) which was not cool.  How’s about some gun control, please! Walt, you're making some bad decisions.  I think he might need a hug and an intervention before this somehow ends badly.  

2.  OmEG:  I recently thought this was annoying, but now I am loving it.  There are many long-winded odes to various innovations/innovators that have been enlightening to me.  One particular quote is something I kind of suspected in the back of my mind, but was too cheap to face up to – under the “Lifetime Warranty” entry – “Though the warranty is not meant to cover normal wear and tear, some unscrupulous consumers take the guarantee to mean ‘free fixes and upgrades!’”

3.  SK’s R:  Horrible does not begin to describe how bad this book is.  So I guess if you stick with something long enough you are entitled to some uninspired, pointless drivel from time to time.  And I should know!  Did you know the world we perceive is merely a thin veneer, behind which are a bunch of dead souls being driven by large ant-creatures, and featuring howling, fickle, all-powerful gods (spoiler alert)?

4.  BIO:  Kiersten Dunst is a more convincing cheerleader than anything else I’ve seen her in.  Although I haven't seen her in much else.  She was okay as Mary Jane, but it's hard for me to replace my boyhood fantasies idea of MJ with a real person.  

 

http://cdn04.cdn.justjared.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/dunst-bike/kirsten-dunst-bike-ride-03.jpg

5. W:  This is an inspired tale of a woman who hiked the Pacific Crest Trail.  She screams the memorable line, “Fuck you feet!” which is reminiscent of the popular bicyclers’ credo from one Jens Voigt, “Shut up legs!”  Reese Witherspoon is also at her most attractive in this film because she is doing outdoorsy stuff and she is often is occasionally baring her wild bosom in shirtsheerless abandon in worldly pleasures.  Her mom in the movie is played by the inimitable Laura Dern who I do not think is really old enough to be her mom.  Let me look into that.  Nope.  Not old enough. 

So now that I am all up to date on this stuff I feel like I have a much stronger connection with popular culture.  Let’s all do a new popular dance and use fun expressions and stuff everybody!  Weeeeee!