Slick and severed

December 7, 2018

Today, on Pearl Harbor Rememberance Day, I am sitting and remembering my recent vasectomy.  It was a few hours back, and it seems like I could have used some extra anesthesia from the get go.  They may have been a bit concerned about my deep breathing exercises I employed to handle the pain and calm myself, because they kept giving me more anesthesia and also applied some oxygen.  Now I am enjoying some opioids, an ice pack, and a sunny spot in the house.  

If Cliff Burton were alive, I’m pretty sure that he would eventually have come out with a new version of (Anesthesia) - Pulling Teeth, called (Anesthesia) - Vasectomy.  

Maybe I can work on that myself whilst convalescing.  Mrs. Snot is sympathetic to my plight, so I might be able to talk her into getting me a bass amp for an early Christmas gift.  

Yesterday I had a nice bicycle ride, even though I slipped and fell down in an icy parking lot on my way back home.   I figured I needed to get out and enjoy some activity before I was out of commission for approximately one week.  The ride to my work place at the exotic pet store was smooth and uneventful.  In fact it was smoother than usual.  It felt as if my rolling resistance had been significantly reduced, possibly by a thin layer of frost on the road, so that I was partially gliding as I swooped down the neighborhood hill on my way to the multi-use trail.  I had scoped out the multi-use trail for a few days and had noted that it was cleared by some kindly individual, likely in the employ of the city.  Thank you, good people, thank you very much.  Please contact me and inform me if you or someone you know is responsible for these beautifully cleared multi-use paths, I would like to buy you a drink and talk multi-use trails with you for a while.  I did not, however, scope out my return route very well.  Whilst homeward bound, I decided to ride straight down a snowy hill, using my brakes to attain a comfortably slow speed.  Unfortunately, the brakes seem to have compressed the damp snow onto the rims of my wheels.  

As you are unlikely to be able to discern from this photo, that was a slick rim!

Fortunately I noticed this whilst in a parking lot away from traffic. My stopping power had been reduced to a range somewhere between slim and nil.  The cold and moisture which had caused a reduction in rolling resistance on my way to work had now become my enemy by reducing my braking friction!  I tried to remove some of the glazed ice with my thumbnail and Snot rag, which seemed to help somewhat.  Next, I elected to ride along a sidewalk that had been partially to completely covered by slush/snow/ice windrows/splash.  When the sidewalk became difficult to negotiate, I reluctantly veered into an icy parking lot where the plethora of smooth ice soon predictably removed my precarious traction, leaving me to tip and fall onto the ice.  The rest of the ride home was slow and uneventful.    From this ride I developed the following maxims which I hope to be able to recall as appropriate:

·     Whilst riding down snowy hills, use the snow and/or your angle down the hill as brakes instead of your actual brakes.  This may prevent compression of snow/slush into ice and onto your rims/rotors.       

·     If you don’t have your route completely scoped out, it is preferential to choose a motor road (which are generally cleared off pretty well) instead of a sidewalk or parking lot (which are frequently neglected).

Of course, by the time I’ve convalesced, conditions may be quite different, but I think the maxims will be relevant again at some point.

I hope your December is going well so far.  I would love to hear about it sometime soon.  Preferably over a nice glass of brandy.  Here is a song by the Decemberists that I think is probably your favorite, and for some reason seems personally relevant to me today.

Bless you, your friends, family, and pets.

Bonjour,

BSOut (of commission [for now])