Winter Ox & Free

 January 5, 2021

Mon cheri frères et sœurs,

Bonne année!  How has your year been?   I believe you.  And I believe in you !

What have I become!?  Indeed, what has become of me?  Well, I am mostly working from home these days, so I haven’t been out and about on my hobby horse 2-wheeled bastarde stallion nearly as much as usual.  But I did manage to get out today to enjoy some mild ice and snow bumps.  But before I get to that event, let me mention a few recent highlights of my year in review/recap/recollections:

1.   I am proud to report that Snot Jr. is now a relatively proficient 2-wheeler !  This was quite a relief to me since bicycling hither and thither with the occasional yon is one of my primary self-defining activities.  So now if, God-forbid, I should die, at least young Snot Jr. will be able to spin about and wreck (as he likes to say) havoc upon the neighborhood gentry.  You may call me pathetique if you will, but you will soon be ashamed to learn that many people who are good at other things also self-identify as bicyclers.  Here is a list :

a.    Harrison Ford :

b.   (young) Daniel LaRusso (played here by one Ralphord Macchio) :

2.   Since I am not birolling around as much I now have taken up some bipeding around.  Mostly kind of slow, but also up to slow jogging speed.  It has been great !  Although I don’t consider myself a runner, it has been a good way to get some exercise and has also motivated me into planning on some kind of epic trekking-type expedition with my friend Tyler in the not-too-distant future.

3.   Whilst bipeding I am doing some deep nasal breathing !  It is snot as bad as you might think.  I was inspired by reading an excellent and highly recommended book called Breath by one James Nestor.  It really seems like an important subject I’d like to explore and practice to improve my overall health and well-being.  I especially like the idea of breathing exercises now that my shoulder’s been kind of messed up since leaf-bagging season awhile back.  Whenever I try to do push-ups or standing band rows it seems to mess it up again.  Fortunately it is not painful, but I think I will stick to some vigorous breathing and other cardio-based routines for the foreseeable future.  If you are curious, Mr. Nestor was kind enough to put some awesome breathing exercise videos on his website.

4.   As you have probably not noticed, I’ve been attending to my obsolete blogging habit even less-frequently than hithertofore.  I offer no further explanation upon this matter, but I do think that I should get to one of my favorite annual events which I frequently like to bombastically expound upon in a blithefully ignorant manner of presidential magnitude.  The Chinese New Year is just around the corner and we will be celebrating the Year of the Yin Metal Bat Ox!  And yes, I realize it’s not for another month and one week, but I am unlikely to get around to any further blogging prior to its indefatiguable arrival.  Here is more information about the metal ox.  And here is a metal ox of a bicycle :

As I mentioned dying in item 1, I must confess that I was slightly afeared for my life today as the roads and sidewalks contained quite a bit of ice and a bunch of those big furrows pushed up by those plows and then frozen/thawed/frozen, etc.  That is one of the dangerous aspects of wanting to go for a bike ride really bad because you haven’t been out on a bike ride for a long time so you aren’t exactly in the winter bicycling groove.  The parts that were kind of scary for me were when I was riding on streets where the shoulder was too snowy for ye bastarde and me and the sidewalks were also buried.  Of course I am well lit up and survival prevailed and it was great!  But if I get a chance, I will try to avoid riding in similar conditions next time (unless I am immersed in the winter cycling groove).

On the ride home it was nearly 40 degrees and delightful!  Although that was enough, I was also comforted by Mr. and Mrs. Neon Claus perched up in a tall tree looking out upon the residential roads in a protective manner.  

Sorry for the bad night photo.  As with my winter bicycling, my nighttime photoing is also a bit very much on the rusty side of the fence.

Until next year, hard work and deliberate planning are sure to seal yourself an ox of a deal!  And if ya don't believe me then just go ox the seal!

Plodding purposefully onwards!

-BSO

Slick and severed

December 7, 2018

Today, on Pearl Harbor Rememberance Day, I am sitting and remembering my recent vasectomy.  It was a few hours back, and it seems like I could have used some extra anesthesia from the get go.  They may have been a bit concerned about my deep breathing exercises I employed to handle the pain and calm myself, because they kept giving me more anesthesia and also applied some oxygen.  Now I am enjoying some opioids, an ice pack, and a sunny spot in the house.  

If Cliff Burton were alive, I’m pretty sure that he would eventually have come out with a new version of (Anesthesia) - Pulling Teeth, called (Anesthesia) - Vasectomy.  

Maybe I can work on that myself whilst convalescing.  Mrs. Snot is sympathetic to my plight, so I might be able to talk her into getting me a bass amp for an early Christmas gift.  

Yesterday I had a nice bicycle ride, even though I slipped and fell down in an icy parking lot on my way back home.   I figured I needed to get out and enjoy some activity before I was out of commission for approximately one week.  The ride to my work place at the exotic pet store was smooth and uneventful.  In fact it was smoother than usual.  It felt as if my rolling resistance had been significantly reduced, possibly by a thin layer of frost on the road, so that I was partially gliding as I swooped down the neighborhood hill on my way to the multi-use trail.  I had scoped out the multi-use trail for a few days and had noted that it was cleared by some kindly individual, likely in the employ of the city.  Thank you, good people, thank you very much.  Please contact me and inform me if you or someone you know is responsible for these beautifully cleared multi-use paths, I would like to buy you a drink and talk multi-use trails with you for a while.  I did not, however, scope out my return route very well.  Whilst homeward bound, I decided to ride straight down a snowy hill, using my brakes to attain a comfortably slow speed.  Unfortunately, the brakes seem to have compressed the damp snow onto the rims of my wheels.  

As you are unlikely to be able to discern from this photo, that was a slick rim!

Fortunately I noticed this whilst in a parking lot away from traffic. My stopping power had been reduced to a range somewhere between slim and nil.  The cold and moisture which had caused a reduction in rolling resistance on my way to work had now become my enemy by reducing my braking friction!  I tried to remove some of the glazed ice with my thumbnail and Snot rag, which seemed to help somewhat.  Next, I elected to ride along a sidewalk that had been partially to completely covered by slush/snow/ice windrows/splash.  When the sidewalk became difficult to negotiate, I reluctantly veered into an icy parking lot where the plethora of smooth ice soon predictably removed my precarious traction, leaving me to tip and fall onto the ice.  The rest of the ride home was slow and uneventful.    From this ride I developed the following maxims which I hope to be able to recall as appropriate:

·     Whilst riding down snowy hills, use the snow and/or your angle down the hill as brakes instead of your actual brakes.  This may prevent compression of snow/slush into ice and onto your rims/rotors.       

·     If you don’t have your route completely scoped out, it is preferential to choose a motor road (which are generally cleared off pretty well) instead of a sidewalk or parking lot (which are frequently neglected).

Of course, by the time I’ve convalesced, conditions may be quite different, but I think the maxims will be relevant again at some point.

I hope your December is going well so far.  I would love to hear about it sometime soon.  Preferably over a nice glass of brandy.  Here is a song by the Decemberists that I think is probably your favorite, and for some reason seems personally relevant to me today.

Bless you, your friends, family, and pets.

Bonjour,

BSOut (of commission [for now])

Bicycling? But it's not a calm, mild, summer day!

March 19, 2013

It is almost time for the annual vernal equinox!  Are you ready?!  Good!  Me too.  Although it's not happened to me before, this past week I heard two people mention seeing a person bicycling in snowy conditions.  They seemed surprised.  One guy said, "Dude.  Really?"  Yes, dude.  Really.  Snowy bicycling isn't just a fringe activity, it's a fun activity!  People are so into winter bicycling that they make websites pertaining to it.  Like this one.  Or this one.  Or even this one.  My favorite is the REI one.  But the topic of winter bicycling (as in all thing bicycle) is a contentious one.  I think that each bicycle rider will eventually decide the best way to enjoy some winter cycling.  But I would like to point out some differences in opinion that I have with some of these authors.  Panniers not advised in the winter (REI) because you it will make you too wide?  What?!  Panniers aren't much wider than my fat ass.  Or my handlebars.  And they've got reflective tape on 'em!  I'm pretty sure they make bicycling safer, not just in the winter, but year round!  Three cheers for panniers!  Hip, hip, HUZZAH!  Okay.  And once I read a blog about needing a different bicycle for winter riding?  What, are you trying to sell me a bicycle?  This is an icy, slippery slope, friends.  It's pretty easy to rationalize needing another bicycle for different circumstances.  But you can probably also take the bike you've already got and get it set up so that it'll do most things pretty well.  And you've gotta put diapers on the baby and food on the table and make sure that they don't get mixed up!  So get it together, dammit!

Unfortunately the winter bicycling season is winding down.  I'll be hanging up the Winter bicycle and taking down the Springy bicycle (these are actually the same bicycle, but I take the blinkies off my tyre tube stems once spring arrives.  Oh and I should probably try to spray off some of the grit).

 What else is going on in the world of bicycling?  Well, the League of American Bicyclists is currently accepting membership applications.

Do you ever get a song stuck in your head when you are pedaling?  Yes!  I know you do!  Me too!  Today it was "Quinn the Eskimo."  I think my wife was right and that this is a song about drugs.  And it's catchy, which is appropriate.  My guess is quaaludes.

As we all know.  Bob Dylan is increasingly incoherent.  But. We still.  Love you Bob!  (similar punctuation to William Shatner, but different intonation).   Do you have 15 minutes to spare?  Maybe you would enjoy listening to the title track from Bob's latest recording, Tempest (I heard this one on Sirius XM Deep Tracks channel).  Sorry, but I'm unable to locate this one on youtube.  I know, this entry just keeps getting more and more disappointing, but don't worry, like winter, it's almost over (and here's a substitute song).

But just as Bob will keep on singin', we winter bicycle enthusiasts will probably keep on spinnin'.  Whether you like it or not!  But you may as well join in, because you don't need a weather man to know which way the wind blows (from the north, mostly, these days)!  Like a rollin' stone, Bridgestone that is!