An astute friend of mine has informed me that our own ho-humble berg of Umoho (aka Omaha) has been elevated to the lofty status of #36 in Bicycling magazine's top 50 bicycling cities in the US list! Bravo Umohoans! We are moving on up! Last year we were #42 or #43 or so, which I think is still pretty good, since there are lots of cities in the US meeting Bicycling magazine's criteria of 100,000+ populations, geographically dispersed (i.e., not just every city with populations between 100,000 and whatever size San Francisco is in California). Based on the expository paragraph included in the list, Omaha seems to specialize primarily in recreational bicycling opportunities. Touche con accento, oh wise purveyors of bicycling information and news. Touchecon accento y itlaliacs tambien.
While #42 in 2011 wasn't bad for Omaha, the rest of our state hasn't done quite as well. Nebraska received a less than stellar #43 in the League of American Bicyclists bicycle-friendly states list. Well, that's not great. But many of us Nebraskiiers will not sit still for this type of rep. Approximately 600 of us will sit and pedal our spandex-clad asses across our beloved Cornplex in the upcoming event known as the Bicycle Ride Across Nebraska. I personally hope to spread serious amounts of goodwill and interest in bicycle-oriented actions by demonstrating that men in spandex are also willing to share their emotions with the sensitive people of small to medium sized towns of our prairie home. Yes, I am sure that many Nebraskans would like to have a good, heart to heart talk with a potentially inebriated man in spandex or a skirt about their feelings towards roads, transportation, families, pets and vegetable gardens. I am on my way, fellow Nebraskans! Meet me at your local watering hole. Or just pull over at the nearest BRAN rest stop. I'll be the one bitching about a lack of vegetarian options. Hell, we might even make #50 #41 by next year! Two wheels 2 power!
In these confusing and competitive times, people are often confused, confusing and/or competitive. It is no wonder that bicyclists often view themselves, or are portrayed by the media/Pixies, as superheroes.
Like superheroes and illuminated reindeer silhouettes...
we crave attention. We try to get attention through various means. We blog. We wear bright/tight clothes. We yell. We ring bells. We fall off our bikes. Mostly, despite these efforts, we are merely ignored.
Also, like superheroes, we may be competitive. All of us familiar with superhero mythology know that the Avengers and the X-Men were always trying to outdo one another, and vying to be the do-goodiest do-gooders. Same with the Justice League and the Teen Titans. Or the League of Extraordinary Gentlement and the Pile of Bums.
This evening I was all gussied up in my superhero-like jersey and ready to fly home when I realized that I had left my jacket upstairs where all the working stiffs were still plunking away on their keyboards. I got back upstairs and a co-worker, apparently stunned by my shining attire said "Whoa!"
Speaking of jerseys, here is the cool jersey available from the Bicycle Ride Across Nebraska (BRAN).
Pretty cool, eh? As you may have heard, you may register for BRAN here, if you are so inclined.
Superheroes also have a variety of perspectives. Superman is positive. Batman is kind of a realist and/or cynical. The Hulk is angry. The Tick is confused. Similarly, bicyclists have different perspectives. Some enjoy having a clear, unobstructed view of the path in front of them. Others, like me, prefer a brim to shelter them from the elements or the potentially blinding lights of oncoming traffic. Here is what that perspective looks like.
I stopped by the grocery store on the way home and as I was locking up my trusty BS-mobile I heard a kid outside Qdoba ask his mom, "Can I bring my tablet?" I could tell by his tone, that this kid would be a rather chunky, computer-oriented kid. The next thing I heard was, "Who is that?" I looked up and confirmed that both the kid and mom were a bit hefty, and also that they were looking at me warily. Truly baffling to see a man in reflective jacket and funny shoes.
I tried to reassure them, but despite their size they ducked quickly into Qdoba and began shoveling food into their faces before I got the chance.
Well here's what I would have said, "Be at peace, friends. For I'm no hero, merely a citizen.... like you!" Then I would smile rakishly and stride out, back to my multi-use trails, sidewalks and residential streets. Back to my home.
