Soggy sycling

August 28, 2014

Some say we move through life.  Others, that life moves through us, motion an illusion.  Some days it feels that we are at a fork in the road we are travelling.  Some days it feels like we have found a pear in the road upon which we have stopped to take a photo.  

Some days we cross a mini-mudslide and find a barricade on the other side.  

Other days we feel saturated.  This saturation may be due to sunlight or liquid sunshine.  

Possibly even liquid acid, but that, my friends, is another storey. 

A friend of mine has broached the idea of moving off to Montana to pursue his dream of wild art.  Well that is great!  I support your dream.  My dream has come true since I just started receiving my 1^st of 12 free issues of Outside magazine!  All I had to do was fly 5 or 6,000 miles.   And fortunately I was able to verify that Missoula, Montana is indeed on Outside’s list of best places to live.  So consider that dream validated.  Some have the courage to fight for their dreams, others fight for their armchair to dream from.

I also used to dream of a city where my hardly earned taxpayer’s money supported the work of a man like Carlos Morales who was getting things done downtown.  Kicking arse, taking dames, that kinda shit.  It seems that his time here in our fair to middlin’ city may be nearing its end.  I wish him all the best in whatever endeavors he chooses to undertake in his next engagement. 

Fortunately there may be a glimmer of light (for the many fans of bicycles and Carlos here and abroad) at the end of the tunnel of Mr. Morales’s disengagement.  This, from our friends at ModeShift Omaha. 

 When the City of Omaha budget was released, it did not include the Bicycle Pedestrian Coordinator position. According to Mayor Jean Stothert, the position was no longer necessary because “the purpose of this position, the goals have been reached.”

So, for a moment, that was the outlook. It was bleak.

Today, things are very different. The Mayor acted fairly quickly to create the Active Living Advisory Committee and selected Julie Harris to be its first chair. Win.

Soon thereafter, several months of ongoing discussions between several city departments, Omaha by Design and others culminated in an agreement to create the city’s first Complete Streets policy. Win.

The Metropolitan Area Planning Agency (MAPA) then offered to ramp up its multimodal planning efforts if the city agreed to chip in a few bucks to make it happen. The city obliged. Win.

And finally, a position dedicated to multimodal transportation – a balanced transportation coordinator – was restored into the budget. As it stands today, the City Council approved a position in Public Works and the Mayor agreed to a similar position in Planning. There’s still the possibility of a veto, so we’ll see where this shakes out. Nevertheless, we’ll call it a win. 

Like the immediate future of multimodal transport here in Omaha, like Mr. Morales, and like my friend who dreams of becoming a wild artist, I, too, feel I’ve reached a fork in the road.  

I may gradually cease all blogging activities in a slow, disgraceful manner as I spend more and more time trying to keep our house from collapsing, gardening, and chasing Toddler Snot hither and yon.  This is certainly a possibility.  Hopefully I’ll be able to continue, albeit on an even less regular basis, to offer haphazard, inchoate, insightless drivel to those who can stomach it.  

As I reached my workly place a half a fortnight past I noticed that I had neglected to secure me trousers in me trusty rucksack.   Funny!  I was a little embarrassed, but I figured my time had come.  Luckily Mrs. Snot was kind enough to deliver a pair to me and all I had to do was wear paisley trousers that were a bit tight in the rumpus.  One place where arriving to work with no trousers might not be a problem would be over in bonny Scotland where everyone roams around with either pro-independence kilts, 

http://rt.com/in-vision/edinburgh-protest-scotland-independence/edinburgh-people-gather-rally/

pro-united kilts, 

http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/photographers-take-photos-of-david-coburn-mep-of-the-uk-news-photo/451543836

or perhaps even Depends comforting their private parts.  I, for one, am in favor of independence because it is likely to lead to an increase in Highland games and viewings of Braveheart.  I would also like to visit someday and it will be nice not to have to deal with those Lobsterbacks pushing us humble colonists onto a Mayflower and trying to teabag our rebellious nostrils!  And if our honourable United Stateliness is occasionally accused of neo-colonial behavior it’s just because that’s how we grew up – being oppressed by colonialists!  This is not to excuse our behavior in places like Granada or Puerto Rico, but merely to explain it.  Why, even as we serve as the frigid ice cream topping to the spicy, cinnamony cake we call Mexico, so too, we support our maple syruppy northern neighbors who cover us with their sweet stickiness whether we asked them to or not!  All of this is to say that we may have a limited amount of control over the ebb and flow of nations and power, but we can all relate to bicycles.  So let’s get out there and get soaked!

  

Here's what my tighty whities looked like when I got to my working home today.

Yes, those are soggy and slightly gritty skivvies, and no, I did not wear them.  In the words of William Wallace - Frreeeedommm!

Gingerly supporting the stand against the empress's axe!

August 17, 2014

So how have you been?  I know, I know!  Right!?  Let’s catch up over a smoothie sometime. 

In the meantime, you may have noticed that we bicyclers are generally in favor of things that make bicycling safer, easier, better, and that type of thing.  Thusly, we (and by we I mean lots of other bicyclers) have been voicing/stating/representing our support for one young crusader we fondly refer to as Carlos Morales, or Car Mor for brevity.  Car Mor has been approachable and effective as our fair city’s bike czar, yet now our erstwhile civic empress has knocked over the first domino in a line of dominos that is intended to end by knocking Car Mor out of a job!  There have been a number of newspaper articles and letters to the editor concerning Car Mor and bicycling in general.  This makes me feel like this.

That’s right, it makes me happy.  It is that time of year when I have a very large supply of homemade, highly carbonated ginger beer.  It is based on this recipe and is more unique and way easier than what I imagine most brewers deal with when crafting a more traditional blend. 

What it also means is that I am ecstatic that there has been more thought about bicycling ever since Car Mor arrived and that his seemingly impending departure has continued the trend in increasing bicycle awareness.  And although Empress Stothert has promised to put together a volunteer bicycle council, I have some minor experience in this realm as I served as the self-appointed, self-righteous, volunteer bike czar of the University of Nebraska for six months or so, and I can tell you that it is pretty hard getting things done as a volunteer.  I feel that this is due to a variety of reasons such as the following: 

1. we live in a capitalist society and money is a strong motivator
2. it is hard to take a volunteer council very seriously (both by the volunteers and by the public)
3. divisiveness amongst councilteers might cause frustration and ineffectivity
4. anyone who should really be on a volunteer bicycle council would probably rather be out riding their bike

So please re-elect/voice support for Car Mor to retain his rightfully appointed position of unilateral executor of bicycle and pedestrian empowerment.  I think of Car Mor’s role as being similar to that of Judge Dredd as illustrated in large, magazine-type format comics.

I have actually met Car Mor and I do not mean to make light of this situation.  In fact I must admit that I was a bit skeptical of our city's need for a bike czar, but I feel that his time in our city has greatly benefited us bicyclers.  The bike lanes in mid-town and downtown areas make bicycling in these areas a pleasure.  I actually feel kind of welcome on these roads now!  I think that many of us Omahans have come to respect bicyclers right to some road space and to notice bicyclers.  

Also a League of American Bicyclists representative rodearound our town for some time and offered multiple observations and suggestions.  Although I do the same on a volunteer basis, there has been a shocking lack of media attention to my various cockameny notions. 

In addition to basking in the warm glow of bicycle-related media here in our hometown, I have also been out on a taco ride and obtained gainful employment since our last interaction.  The taco ride was a few weeks back, and I happened to encounter my friend and role model Karol who was still wearing a pair of bicycling sandals that she has sported on numerous MS bike rides and RAGBRAIs.  

She also manages to get out and do stuff despite having two young tow-headed scamps to corral on a daily basis.  

The word “classy” comes to mind.

I have also noticed that a wetlands area has naturally begun reclaiming a section of trail that I occasionally traverse.

 

This is just ducky.

In regards to my return to gainful employment, I have found that the shoe fits, but I need to work on my choice in socks!  Let's all put our best foot forward and pedal/paddle our way to harmonious, multi-modal glory!

Improving your wood, one plank at a time!

July 11, 2014

Many of us here in the land of Omaha have recently experienced something that those in the land of Chief Seattle might reefer to as “liquid sunshine.”  If you would care to peruse some data, here is a link that illustrates the rainfall quantities we’ve recently (en)joy/dur(ed).  http://average-rainfall.findthebest.com/l/152/Omaha-Nebraska What this all means to me is this –

 

Mudflood!

that’s right, my Da and I were not able to easily or cleanly ride around the Bluffs of the Council at our whim.  After shaking my fist and booty angrily towards the heavens we were relegated to an out and back expedition on the Wabash Trace Trail.  Here is what we found.

 

These bicyclers are actually regular-sized, those tree leaves are just really big!  Whoa!  And yes, I believe that is a Sun Cycles EZ Tandem

More signage = more money to...

….

…remove old, dilapidated bridge planks and...

…replace with beautiful new wood...

…and provide more suitable habitat for snakes to safely sun.

What else is happening?  Well, I am glad to hear that Carlos Morales is still working with the government of the erstwhile capital of the land of Omaha, also known as the City of Omaha.  In fact if you attend the Mode Shift Omaha meeting on July 23, 2014 at UNO’s Weitz Community Engagement Center - 6001 Dodge Street (Rm 201)  you will have a chance to hear from Mr. Morales and perhaps to talk with him.  I am somewhat curious to see how his role may have changed based on the ascendency of our new queen of Omaha who seemed less than subtly unconcerned about advancing our bicyclers’ agenda.  Unlike many politicos, I am not shy about describing my agenda.  And as usual, I believe that I type for a slight majority of bicyclers in the western part of the Papio-Missouri watershed.  So here it is –

1.     Bicyclers shall be a protected species similar, yet not as agile as our totem, the swamp jaguar.  Penalties for infringing upon our habitat (i.e., multi-use trails, sides of roads, portions of intersections, etc.) will be enforced by our tribal elders.

2.     Bicyclers shall be allowed to leave work early once a week in order to participate in a bicycling event of their choosing.  They will gladly make up the time that they miss tomorrow.  Their make up time will consist almost entirely of talking about their sweet bicycling event with a coworker who may or may not be unwillingly picturing their coworker in spandex bibs…. (and nothing else!) the whole time they are talking.  

3.     Bicyclers will meet up at the local bar tomorrow at 8 to unionize and think of some more agenda components.  

So, beautiful yet aloof and taciturn erstwhile queen of we Omaha-ers, please joint me for a bicycle ride about our fair city tomorrow at 9 to tour about our fair city carefreeily and chat about bicycles and spandex.  I've got a few extra bikes if you need to borrow one.      

Sticky talons of piercing truth!

April 5, 2013
It's good to get out and move a little, even when you are of a phlegmatic temperament.  Get's things moving.  Shakes things up.  Results in massive snot rocket impacting crank!

I call this glaze "IRSnot."

Thank you Dr. Sanguinary.  Blood's not the only thing bike-riding'll get flowing!

Once I had arrived at my place of work at the bobble-head assembly plant I noticed a bird of prey, possibly a Sharp-shinned Hawk, that appeared to be engrossed in grossly disemboweling some hapless critter that had been ensnared in its talons of piercingness.

At lunch a noticed that there wasn't much left of the unfortunate pigeon.

After work, I noticed that my new crank finish had dried to a lovely, multi-colored glaze, reminiscent of an elegant ash glaze thickly (and forcefully) applied to a supple, long-stemmed carafe.

I took the photo first, then I noticed that my fore-tyre had gone flaccid.  Had the fearful, sharp-shinned master of the skies snuck inside to pierce the Old Bastard's happy tyres like a fat pigeon with its shuriken-like talons?  I glanced about uneasily.  Further observation revealed that the deflation was due to a small glass shard in my faithful tyre's rubber.

Tyre valve nut encircling glass shard.

Nothing like a little piece of something abrasive to reduce a stiffly virulent tyre to ineffective malleability.   Damn.  Even my protective Mr. Tuffy tyre liner had not been able to deflect this pernicious booger of silica.

Made it home in time to get the Bastard hosed down and lubed up and ready for the next round!

So have you met Mr. Carlos Morales, our fair to middlin' city's Bike and Pedestrian Coordinator?  Here's an article that explains some of what Mr. Morales does for us Omahahans.  And here is an interesting, if long-winded, 2011 article that explains something about how his position came into existence and how his salary is comprised of public and privately donated funds.  Mr. Morales has recently been mentioned a few times in the local newspaper as a kind of symbolic bicycling bogeyman who gets paid huge amounts of hard-earned taxpayers' money for painting bike lanes where no one wants them.  Well, I for one would like to mention that he is also a pedestrian coordinator/bogeyman.  So don't forget that!  And furthermore I am glad he's around because we probably would not have as many bike lanes without him.  Or as good of a chance at getting even more of them constructed as soon as possible.  A Bike and Pedestrian Coordinator is just what this city needs to turn a good city for biking into a great one!  Oh and for walking too, yawn.  Now let's bike!  or walk or sleep or whatever you wanna do with your weekend.