May or Godzilla!?

 May 8, 2021

Happy spring!

I hope it is going well for you.  I have been enjoying watching the maple tree seed helicopters flying gracefully downwards to the earth.  It seems like it was only a month ago when the first leaves started showing up on these bushes, 

and a month before that when things were blanketed with snow. 

Now it is May and there is a May-or-al election coming up here in Omaha.  The incumbent is Mayor Jean Stothert, who has not been on my good side for a number of reasons, including the following:

·     removal of bike parking areas in downtown Benson

·     handling of protests related to the shooting death of James Scurlock (police seem to have used rubber bullets unnecessarily to intimidate peaceful protestors, there were mass arrests, and Mayor Jean did seem concerned, but mostly only after the bad publicity started to emerge)

Mayoral candidate RJ Neary is a staunch advocate for the following items that I also feel strongly about:

·     developing infrastructure to improve opportunities for bicycling, walking, and buses

·     addressing racial inequality

So that was an easy decision.  

 

Another easy decision: some spring cleaning.

Maybe your bathroom is outdated, dilapidated, and prone to clogging and leaking?  Out with the old and in with the new!

 

We also got a new tree planted, 

which will hopefully work out better than the last one, which appeared to have contracted a bad case of cedar-Hawthorne rust (at least that’s what I think it was), so I cut it down a year or two ago and had a great time removing the stump last weekend.

 

It can be rainy this time of year, but that’s not going to dampen my enthusiasm for bicycle commuting (unless it’s too rainy) because I’ve got some newish Banjo Brothers panniers that should keep all my onboard items dry!

 

There’s a removable liner that appears to be responsible for the dryness factor.

 

Another way to stay dry is by sitting around inside and playing Godzilla monopoly, which has been a favorite pastime of Snot Jr. these days.  

I have to admit I find it pretty enjoyable most of the time too. Capitalism is powerfully alluring to many, but I won’t let it control me (dons tinfoil beanie with helicopter blades for improving air flow to brain)!  May your all be genuine and focused on what matters the most to you! 

Godzilla!     

 

-BSO

 

 

Thanks, Jerry

November 25, 2018

Why hello!  I didn’t see you there!  I hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving and/or late November.  Some of us local USians got together on Thanksgiving Eve and did a some drinking with a couple short bouts of bicycling interspersed.  Rich and Nick started off quickly, so I had to pedal my ass off to stay within sight of the group.  My heart laboured valiantly and, for several moments I pondered the difference between good and bad stress levels as they relate to one’s heart.  Eventually my friends slowed down and I was able to catch up for some conversation on the trail.  At our stopping point we met a garrulous 70-year old who I will call Jerry. He said he loves the social aspects of bicycling and compared bicyclers to hippies because they don’t seem to give a shit and they just want to have a fun time.  He told us about going to see the Beatles’ suits in Time Square prior to riding the Five Boro Bike Tour.  A bicycling doctor (possibly a urologist)’s wife said she was glad they went to see the suits because she used to ride the bus to school with John Lennon back when they were schoolkids.  Jerry also was enthusiastic about his e-bike, which allowed him to enjoy all the group rides that he otherwise might not be able to if he had to pedal his ass off just to keep up.  

Well, that makes sense to me.  If Jerry appreciates the e-assist, I am glad they’re around so that Jerry can be around! Just as long as they stay off the dirt trails!  We had a fun time socializing for what may have been about an hour before we headed back to the White House Bar and Grill.  

The Tour De’Lights event is rapidly approaching and is due to arrive on arrive on Saturday, December 8.  Although I’ve never been on it, I am sure it is a good time.  Maybe once Snot Jr. is a bit older we can get out there to attend one of these rides.  In the meantime, the weather forecast is looking a bit snowy, so you might want to make sure you’ve got some warm clothes and maybe some snow tyres for ye olde bicycle.  Here are a couple that look pretty good:

1. Continental TopContact Winter II 
2. Schwalbe Marathon Winter Plus

I would probably choose 1, since 2 seems very ice-specific.  In the meantime, the Maxxis Overdrive Elite tyres I’ve been using seem to get me through a couple inches of snow and ice pretty well.  Whenever anyone asks me about winter riding, I just say I’m slow and careful on turns and when braking.  Here is another thing that should be done slowly and carefully.  

For awhile I was nervous, but when I saw the promotional flyer I knew this was just what the doctor (urologist) ordered.  Dr. Bob said I will only have to stay off the bike for a week, but also to stop if it hurts. 

  

I have also occasionally been enjoying a game called “The Biking Game” with the family during the Thanksgiving weekend.  It has been great!  I learned about the classic Schwinn 1954 Black Phantom.  However, I’m not sure I believe their classification of the célérifère is the earliest ancestor of the bicycle.  Some sources claim that it had 4 wheels!  My current, half-baked belief is that the draisine is our most venerable and honored ancestor whom we commemorate on ancestral bike days, dates of which vary based on local customs and is different from Bicycle Day.

Please honorably and responsibly roll-on, good people, roll the f on!

Your humble BSO

Bicyclers of the future and the past

April 28, 2017

A good day for ducks.  

Painting by Jen Beirola

Not bad for bicycling, either, just a tad on the soggy side, but no torrential rain.  Here is the view from the local multi-use trail, with and without safety glasses.

As you are undoubtedly/indubitably aware, May is nearly here and ‘twill be National Bike Month!  

Lately, perhaps inspired by Snot Jr.’s influence, I’ve been wondering what the younger generation will do for transportation.  I’ve encountered several young 2-wheee!lers lately.  Here are a couple of them. 

Youngster #1, whom I shall refer to as Herbert, was standing on the multi-use trail and talking with someone on the phone.  “It’s cold out!”  he stated in a bratty, demanding tone. 

I encountered Youngster #2, whom I shall also refer to as Herbert, at Chatty Corner where he cheerily mentioned, “I didn’t expect it to be this cold!”

I am so glad that both Herberts were happy to talk to an oldster like me about one of my favorite subjects.  But underneath this promising interest in our atmosphere I detected two different perspectives.  I really wanted to tell Herbert 1 that he would never amount to anything.  Herbert 2, while brashly unaware of the weather forecast, seemed to have a promising future and I wanted to tell him that he would assuredly be a successful city planner and/or heavy machinery mechanic.

Soon I met two other even younger humans.  One was popping some wheee!lies and so I informed him that those were some nice moves.  Another one was pushing her bike up a hill.  Although I didn’t stop to check, I’m guessing she had a geared bike that had either been cross-geared or had the chain stuck/de-ringed or somesuch.  SOAPBOX ALERT!  This second observation along with a prejudiced supposition angered me somewhat.  When will parents stop buying kids bikes with more than one gear?!  They are more complicated and less fun!  More gears = more headaches.  Maybe once your kid gets fairly proficient at doing some sweet wheeelies and jumps and curb-popping they might be alright with a few extra gears.  Even then, I recommend waiting until they show interest in and can provide a reasonably cogent comparison of single vs. multi-geared bicycling.  Preferably in cursive.  But still, please don’t get a drivetrain with 3 chain rings!  That’s too many!  Unnecessary!  Having ranted thusly, maybe an internal hub might be alright.

So I think these kids will be alright and bicycling will soon take over the nation and/or make some modest gains, if only parents don’t buy kids bikes with too many gears.

Meanwhile, in Mosul, Iraq bicycles are now in high demand due to bans on potentially explosive-laden motorbikes and cars.  The pacifist embraces and smooches the bicycle and gets some errands done while he is at it.  No woman, no bike.  Sorry ladies.  Maybe you could ride on the rack?

Well, it's not all quite so gloomy everywhere.  Here is an exciting story about a woman who wore bloomers and bicycled around the world.  Her name was Annie Cohen Kopchovsky (or Annie Londonderry for short).  She had become pessimistic by the time she made it to Chicago on a heavy, multi-geared Columbia.  But then she switched to a lighter, single-speed Sterling.  

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/491947959266912561/

She also stopped wearing corsets and dresses and started wearing bloomers and pantaloons.  She notably,  "rode the train across most of Nebraska because of the muddy roads."  and "Near Gladbrook, Iowa, she broke her wrist when she crashed into a group of pigs and was forced to wear a cast for the remainder of her trip."

So watch out for the pigs and ducks and keep on smiling through the rain!

Let's ride (and maybe performs some maintenance on ye olde drivetrain in the not-too-distant future)!

BS 

Half the Road!

February 28, 2017

I made it out to the theatre tonight last week to view a film entitled Half the Road.  It was at AksarbenCinema.  I don’t make it out much, so I was amazed to see all the sports bars present in the Aksarben Village area these days.  Here is a horrible photo of a sports bar's advertising bike at the cinema.

http://www.dudleysomaha.com

  There was also an e-bike rental outfit with a promotional booth out in the lobby, 

http://quikbyke.com

along with the usual group which included:

Tour for Hope (Bike Ride to Prevent Suicide) - May 21

Wear Yellow Ride - May 13

Bike Rack

Omaha Pedalers

As for the film, it was great to hear about some inspired women professional bicyclists.  Unfortunately they don’t get the respect or the money they deserve.  The film informs us that women bicyclists typically don’t dope and they have to work full-time regular jobs to support their bicycling careers.  Also there are fewer UCI qualifying events for them to participate in in order to get the points they need to qualify for the Olympics. 

Mostly what this film is about is giving girls and women more representation in the male-dominated professional bicycling world.  Although there are many women bicyclists, the professional bicyclists that I am familiar with are all men and almost all of them are likely dopers.  This film introduced me to a number of professional women bicyclists who I am interested in learning more about.  Here are a few of those portrayed in the film:

1. Emma Pooley (she has a teapot collection - she buys one with the prize money when she wins races)
2. Marianne Vos (probably my favorite, she seems shy and unassuming but is clearly a badass bicyclist) 
3. Kathryn Bertine (also directed the film and Skyped with the audience after the showing!)
4. Chrissy Wellington (not specifically a professional bicyclist)

Of these, CW was the only one I previously knew anything about due to my casual fling with triathleting. 

The film was enjoyable, but occasionally a bit repetitive – professional women bicyclists are not treated with even the meager amounts of respect lavished upon professional male bicyclists.  Let’s talk about that some more.  I would have been a bit more interested in hearing more about how these women became bicyclists and show them bicycling about their homelands, etc.   The film did have a great sense of humor and never really got bogged down.   It was fascinating to see all the travelling that these women had to do just to qualify for the Olympics.   Kathryn went to Syria and then didn’t even get credit for it due to some weaselly UCI technicality!  I don’t mind travelling, but I felt like I got some contact jet lag just from viewing this film.

Then, after the film, Kathryn Skyped with Bob Mancuso (of Omaha Pedaler's) and the audience got the chance to ask her questions!  It was good to hear about her latest ventures and her life in Tucson, AZ.  She offers a free place for women bicyclists to stay if they decide they could use some quality time in the mountain/deserts around and about Tucson.

That’s one nice thing about being a non-professional bicycler.  We don’t have to travel by means other than bicycling all that much!  But then again, no one makes movies about bicycle commuters, right!?  Wrong!  Here is one!  And even another!?  Okay, so they both also involve Old Man 

Winter to make it a bit more baffling/obtuse.  Here's a geeky-looking documentary that contrasts bicycles and motorcars.  

Well, bicycling in Nebraska seems to be headed in the right direction.  Here are a couple exciting upcoming events:

Omaha Bike Swap Meet - March 12

Nebraska Bike/Walk Summit - March 23-24, Lincoln

And a non-bicycle-related event: 

Yes, Nebraska equestrians will be loving it.  Maybe they'll have bike trials world cup here next!?

It could happen!  In the meantime, let's all get our bikes rolling!  Safely!  Music video!  

Umbrage for hire!

Many people enjoy utilizing the utilitarian machine we refer to as a bicycle for utilitarian purposes.  Here are some fellow bicyclers who have picked up some much-needed supplies to stock their larders with some sundries.

I, too, have brought supplies from here to there and back fairly often.  Often enough that I noticed my tyre tube had sprung a leak as I arrived at my hacienda following my day's travelling and hauling of sundries.  It turned out to be related to the condition of the tyre itself, as shown here.

Cause of flat - fingered!

Did you know that here in the Uof SAssiness it is Bike to Work Week this upcoming week?  Well I, for one, am not participating as I have recently been promoted to unemployment due to various schemes and ploys.  And  I also, for the first time, now take a small amount of umbrage (maybe one or two umbos, is that the right unit of measurement for umbrage?) at the title of this week.  What about a more inclusive title such as Bike Places Week?  What is this constant overvaluation of work?  Sure you might be able to get paid doing it, but you can also get paid for being born rich, so why not try that?  What?!  Maybe get adopted?

Next Saturday is the lovable Wear Yellow Ride which begins at the Strategic Air Command Museum near Ashland, Nebraska.  I hope to see you there.  I may even be in way better shape than you because I will have plenty of time to bike more exciting places than to work!  Hah!  Yeah, that's not likely.  Bicycle on, workers, et al!

Hey Quacker!  Maybe if you were biking to work you wouldn't have such a big bill to pay!  Yuck, yuck.  (I do mean "yuck" as in that's more awful than the usual drivel that passes for duck humour in this blog!)

Climb aboard the monster of life-affirming fun!

May 3, 2013

Perchance you have noted the gloomy nature of these days?  Mayhap you are labouring with mortal morals askew and all askance?  Whitherto shalt thou fly?  To congress with others of the same ilk, says I!  Forthwith!  Thusly were the thoughts of our forebears in the days of yore as Spring tauntingly teased them with her flirtatious dirty muddy dance with Winter as he exited Stage Fore (down the aisle).  

These days we call it Seasonal Affective Disorder Torture as the tail end of Winter directs a chilly fart in our general direction.  Maybe you are stuck at your desk, cashier, wheel, machine or somesuch?  Working for a cold unfeeling corporation that pays you and simultaneously sucks your soul into a gaping maw of profitability for the shareholders?   You could look at it that way.  You might feel like a young Sting pretended to feel in his classic tail tale of early 80s corporate malaise we call Synchronicity II.

Or you might not.  I don't know.  I do know that if you are feeling blue, you would probably benefit by participating in an exciting event we call the National Bike Challenge on endomondo.  In Synchronicity II I believe that the Loch Ness monster represents the NBC.  You can sign up here to be friends with Nessy/join the NBC.  Then you can log miles for your unfeeling corporation/team, your mom and pop business, your bicycle club, a made-up organization , or just for you and Nessy!

lancashiretelegraph.co.uk

It'll be great!  No matter who you are!  Yeaahhhh-HHOOOO!  You might want to send out a bunch of e-mails.  Try to get people to join the team.  Go for team recreational bicycling rides on weekends.  Let the aire out of potential teammates motor-vehicle tyres and then "happen to have" a vixenly bicycle with taut, nubile, fully inflated tyres on hand for them to borrow.  That kind of stuff.  It is truly exciting.  It's also a slippery slope.  I have been participating in such events for the past 3 years or so, and once you start logging your miles/kilometres it is kind of hard to stop.  Between the end of the Winter Challenge and the National Bike Challenge I went through a brief period of withdrawl.  "Don't lots of fellow bicylclers want/need to know how often I am out bicycling?" I asked myself persistently, annoyingly,existentially.    The answer to that question is clear, and it is "No!"  Or, if they do want to know, they are co-dependent, needy, and/or extremely neurotic and you should probably give yourself some distance.  Some time, a, part.

This is what the side of the multi-use trail looked like this morning.

Even the typically perky Curly Dock looked a bit droopy.

But as they say, "May snows brings June jallepenos."  Or is it August jallepenos?  Not sure, pero viva tilda y tu madre con accento!  It is also Cinco de Mayo weekend!  There are a few events that generally go along with this occurrence.  Cinco de Mayo 5K.  Also a mini-tour at Old Chicago, where they have undergone some re-branding.  Also Mother's Day.  Y Dia de Madre.  So maybe you can "kill two birds con uno stone" by taking your mother and/or baby's mama out on a nice fun 5 kilometre run/walk/death march.  I am planning on dressing up like a your mom and taking Baby Snot in the Baby Bjorn on his first 5K.  Should be muchos felicidades amigos!  Brrr-r-r-r-r-r-r-aaahhhh-haaa!

Silvery Lines aboot my UNLy Campus!

April 26, 2013

Having heard that our State's beloved Husker factory of UNLiness had been awarded a League of American Bicyclists' silver medal as a bicycle friendly campus, I swiftly happened to be on campus and I figured I would document bicycley stuffs I encountered.  Astute as you are, I'm sure that you've noted my increased penchant for using even more cutesy made-up words than usual lately.  I apologize and I wish I could do something to limit this, but it is likely inevitably progressing much like a terminal sickness as I spend more and more time with Baby Snot and less time communicating with my fellow adults.

Anyhoohoo, here are some of the bicycle-related things I observed during my field trip to the UnL.

Ass you can see, there are many bicycle related signs instructing bicyclers about where their bicycles belong.  And in a nice, polite way for the most part!  How pleasant!  This is good because it means that bicycles are more or less accepted as a part of campus life.  The campus probably didn't get a gold medal because then the signs would say things like "Leave your bike wherever the hell you want!  We don't give a fuck because we fucking love bicycles!  Huzzah!"

Some older, more succinct remnant signs were also hanging around and obstinately stating things a little less politely, but just as instructively

Here is a terrain park that invites bicycles, but not climbers or swimmers, to enjoy a traipse through some obstacles and "get rad" as they say.

Hey climbers, waders, and swimmers!

Find your own damn campus to be friendly to you!  Hah!  Yes, the bullied have become the bullies!  And so the cycle continues.

I did mean to go check out what exactly a silver medal in bicycle friendliness ecktually entails, but I was too busy getting some slickly tyres and a slick carbonated handlebar on my faithful steed Shifty.  I put my bar ends back on because I like to be able to move my hands around on longer rides, but I must admit they look a tad ridiculous.

What is up?  Well, if you are part of our far City's public works department, you have pulled off yet another tongue-in-cheek clean up of the old local multi-use trail/street.

I suppose you are providing for your job security by ensuring you'll be back?  (subtext = please come back now and then)  Or maybe you just don't give a fuck.  I prefer to think it's your whimsical sense of whimsy.  I will be sure to scoop up a trowelfull of the large pile of temporarily solid mud every once in a while and maybe by the time I retire from bicycle commuting it will be gone (or nearly so).  I will move the mud to the City's many rutted out yard corners and I will not ask for anything other than fawning admiration from anyone who notices my noble deeds.  Confusion or annoyance will do to.  I'm not picky.  Just want some attention.  I blame Baby Snot.  Just like when I fart.

Oh and here's my best shot of Woody that I've ever taken!  I was looking for him so I didn't spook him today.

Soon he will be riding along in my pannier and chewing on cookies!

Happy pedaling/chuckwatching/gassiness!