Things seem a bit different

December 24, 2019

Happy Christmas Eve to one and all!  I hope you are enjoying or have escaped some type of festivity.  Things here are fine, thank you for your concern.  I am currently rocking out to the latest Of Monsters and Men CD – Fever Dream.  Of Monsters and Men are a great band and, as you can read here, 

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/features/of-monsters-and-men-interview-fever-dream-album-tracklist-tour-dates-a9017221.html

 they just wanted to do something a little different for their 3^rdalbum (I haven't listened to the whole thing yet, but so far I don't like it as much as their first two).  I am doing things a bit differently these days too because I have experienced a few elements that often accompany the aging process, most noticeably to me – hemorrhoids.  So I’ve been staying on my feet as much as possible and, unfortunately, avoiding the bicycle.  Quite a blow to my self-image, forsooth!  Without my bicycling avocation, what do I really stand for?!  Well, now I stand for standing up more than I used to in order to avoid pressure on my anus!  Standing is okay, but not quite as enjoyable as bicycling.  So, Saint Goncalo willing, hopefully I’ll get better soon and get back in the saddle, but I don’t really feel like pushing it right now.  Instead, I am presently content to type bitterly about various events, such as follows:

1. To get my bicycle-related fix without actually bicycling, I went to a local bike shop yesterday and was informed that they didn’t have any single speed bicycles.  They also only had two internal hub bicycles and they were both cruiser type bikes.  I guess there’s not much of a market for a single-speed commuter-type bike here in Homaha! Well, I guess we Omahans are a pretty soft sort who like to take the easy way!?  What have we become!?  Let’s get it together crème puffs!  Time to get competitive and make our fair to middlin’ city more bike friendly!  
2. There has also been a bit of a kerfuffle related to the city of Omaha’s idea to remove a bike rack that had been put in a past and current automobile parking space.  It apparently could contain 12 bikes or 1 motor vehicle, but not both.  Well, it has been said that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, but that is a statement that is subject to interpretation and nuance.  In this case, there are certainly more automobilers than bicyclers moving about Omaha at any given time.  However, up to 12 bicyclers could use a space that is now only able to handle one automobile that, in many instances, carries a single individual.  If the city wants to provide transportation options now and in the future that are not exclusively based on inefficient fossil-fuel-powered motor vehicles, they should stop defaulting to installing as many motor vehicle parking spaces as possible.  It is like the monocultured, stereotypical all-American lawn that is unhealthily filled with Kentucky blue grass and perhaps some fescue – needs a lot of water, fertilizer, and herbicides and is generally expensive to maintain.  The manicured lawn does not promote a healthy ecosystem, nor do streets that are exclusively automobile-centered make safe, healthy neighborhoods.  It is time to come to terms with the reality that auto-centric cities are eventually a dead end.  We should be building healthier neighborhoods and cities that encourage more sustainable transportation choices. Here are some cities that have done a good job of providing transportation options:  https://www.wired.com/story/most-bike-friendly-cities-2019-copenhagenize-design-index/  Oftentimes, articles cite technological development as promising progress in the realm of sustainable transportation.  However, it is also possible to improve sustainable transportation by relying on the classic technology of bicycles.  Or even the absence of technology by walking.  

Well, I will cease my grouchy rambling for now and hopefully I’ll be in a better mood next year when I’m back on the bike!  

Let’s get together soon. Missing you,

BSO

Intoxicating Summer Wheels

June 21, 2019

Dear Fellow Bicycle Enthusiast, et al.,

Welcome to my humble composition!  I hope it amuses or something similar.  Happy summer (for N hemispherians) or winter (for those south of the belt)!  Today I would like to present to you two topics:  a) cycling clothing, b) modes of transport.

These 2 topics have been on my mind lately for the following reasons:  1) the Pearls before Swine cartoonist, Stephan Pastis, has had a few strips lately that address cycling, one of which obliquely refers to bicyclists’ penchant for tight clothing and 2) a conversation with a few co-workers addressing the new scooter option for transport (only allowed on streets) and a compare/contrast exercise with bicycles, cars and scooters.  

As far as topic A goes, let me begin and end by presenting a photo that proves that you cannot always see my nipples through my high-viz bike jersey (topper of choice).

Need I say/type more? 

I didn’t think so.

As far as topic B goes, the discussion was a bit wide-ranging, unstructured and thought-provoking.  So, the scooters make a good conversation starter.  Our discussion went something like this:

“What about those new scooters scooting around on the roads everywhere these days?”

“I saw a guy on Leavenworth during my morning commute today!  Bold choice!”

“Bold or dumb?”

“It would be different if he had a bike lane!”

“They don’t have much visibility, just a little taillight.  They can’t ride ‘em at night.”

Me:  “Really?”

(coworker appraises me as if I might be a bit touched) “Yeah.”

“It’s like bicycles. They want to have all the privileges of the road, but they don’t always follow the rules of the road.  When was the last time you saw a bicycle getting ticketed (rhetorical period).  

(I refrained from mentioning that it’s probably because the percentage of bicyclers is so low that you probably only see one bicyclist per 1,000 cars or so you see)

Or a speeding car during the rush hour commute.” (very equitable) 

“They keep saying how many injuries there have been since they started the scooters, but there’s only been like two tickets.”

“Yeah, something’s not right here….”

“My buddy once got a ticket on his bike.  DUI.”

“On a bike?”

“Yeah.”

Me:  “It’s my understanding that you can’t get a DUI on a bike in Nebraska, you could only get a public intoxication.”

“They charged him with DUI.”

Me:  “Well I don’t think they could make it stick.”

“They did.  He lost his license.”

“Yeah, a bicycle is a vehicle.”

So there.  And it is true, a bicycle is a vehicle, as are motorized scooters.  A vehicle (per the Cambridge dictionary) is “something used to transport people or goods, esp. something used on land or roads.”  Usually a machine (an object that proffers a mechanical advantage to the user).  So a skateboard, wagon, and roller skates would also qualify.  But I don’t think you could get a DUI for drunken skateboarding or pulling your kid around in a wagon.  

I was impressed to find that the League of American Bicyclists had put together a handy guide to determining what penalties could be levied at a drunken bicyclist based on state.  As shown on the handy chart, Nebraska’s DUI law, like most states’, only applies to motor vehicles.  Iowa’s and Kansas’s laws are similar, but Wichita has a city ordinance that allows drunken bicyclists to be charged with a DUI.

Not that it matters that much to me.  I don’t get out and party much.  Back in my younger years I was once hit by a car whilst bicycling intoxicating, and it was quite unpleasant for a variety of reasons.  It was embarrassing and I felt kind of bad for the old guy that hit me.  It also made quite an impression on me (mostly on my jaw) and I had to get a few stitches and go to the impound lot the next morning afternoon to get the Bastard back.

So there’s that.  You probably won’t get a DUI for bicycling intoxicated, but you might get hurt (or killed) and/or undergo a series of unpleasantries.  

Glad we got that all cleared up.

And what’s up with those scooters?  Well let’s take a look.  Hmmm. Looks pretty good.  Maybe all this scooting will encourage the creation of more bike lanes too!  That would be great.  So scoot on by sometime and we’ll head out on the streets for awhile!

Let’s roll!

BSO

Good gracious! Good gravel!

September 15, 2018

Hello again!  I trust your Septembering is ontrack!?  Things here are beautiful.  I was able to participate in a gravel ride sponsored by Omaha Velo last weekend.  The weather was perfect, the course was enjoyable with a few big hills, and the Omaha Velo people were gregarious, generous, and genteel.  They were also extremely well-prepared.  The cue sheets were spot on, the oasis was extremely well stocked, and the drinks were cold and plentiful.  

The gravel ride was called the OGrE, and it began in the lovely town of Plattsmouth, Nebraska. There were 2 options, a 56 mile and a 105 mile, of which I chose the most moderate (i.e., shortest) version. I think there were maybe 7 riders on the short course.  I fired up my navigation system 

and didn’t really seem to delay the start as I eventually made it over just after the pre-ride announcements. 

The first part of the ride was really nice with a few streams and waterfalls that seemed a bit out of place here in eastern Nebraska.  I was told later on that they are on the down-dam side of Beaver Lake.  

Not one of the waterfalls I was referring to!  But I was cruising along so effortlessly when I espied the real beauties that I did not stop for photographing!  

There was a cell tower, that shared some pasture land with some fine-looking Angus cattle.  

The weather was perfect and I was feeling fast, so I did not bother to stop in Nehawka, although the Nehawka Bar was highly recommended.  Next time I make it there I’ll be sure to stop.  I was still feeling peppy, and had only made it through about 60 of the 118 oz. of water I was unnecessarily toting – hey, the last couple of gravel rides I went on were hot! - when I made it to the oasis, staffed by the personable Cleasbys.  

I found the ride to be peaceful and reflective as I rolled past parts of the state that brought back memories of my younger years and friends and family that have passed on.  

After the ride there were plenty of friendly people to chat with while I waited for my friend Rich to roll in.

I also made it out to see Here Come the Mummies this past Thursday.  Talk about a funky bunch of 5,000 year-old party entities!  I’ll be lucky if I’m that well preserved at 50!  

I also espied a couple of inspirational bicycle-related stories including this one about how Lebron James loves biking for all the right reasons.  Also this one about a guy who loves his old Bridgestone MB-1.  Let’s keep the wheels turning!

Ra!  Ra!  Ra!

-BSO

Solstice Party at the (Insert destination)

Happy Solstice!  First off, let me apologize for the perfunctory nature of my last post.  And, now that you're used to it, here's another one!  As oftimes occurs, I overlooked a vaguely bicycle-related event here in my own Homaha town.  Here 'tis.  Danette Officer Culler, just let me say that you are looking great in your uniform.  Now that is great PR for our fairly to middliny city.  A bicycle police officer gets you your money back from a scalper!  And she's good looking!  And she's on a bicycle!  That is probably the trifecta of College World Series ticket shennanigans.

I was caught in a minor deluge this afternoon and it was beginning to wear me down a tad.  But then I happened upon these sprinklers, which provided me all the refreshment I needed to make it home!  Thanks shopping plaza!

Hope you're having a refreshing week!  May your grass be greener!