Soggy sycling

August 28, 2014

Some say we move through life.  Others, that life moves through us, motion an illusion.  Some days it feels that we are at a fork in the road we are travelling.  Some days it feels like we have found a pear in the road upon which we have stopped to take a photo.  

Some days we cross a mini-mudslide and find a barricade on the other side.  

Other days we feel saturated.  This saturation may be due to sunlight or liquid sunshine.  

Possibly even liquid acid, but that, my friends, is another storey. 

A friend of mine has broached the idea of moving off to Montana to pursue his dream of wild art.  Well that is great!  I support your dream.  My dream has come true since I just started receiving my 1^st of 12 free issues of Outside magazine!  All I had to do was fly 5 or 6,000 miles.   And fortunately I was able to verify that Missoula, Montana is indeed on Outside’s list of best places to live.  So consider that dream validated.  Some have the courage to fight for their dreams, others fight for their armchair to dream from.

I also used to dream of a city where my hardly earned taxpayer’s money supported the work of a man like Carlos Morales who was getting things done downtown.  Kicking arse, taking dames, that kinda shit.  It seems that his time here in our fair to middlin’ city may be nearing its end.  I wish him all the best in whatever endeavors he chooses to undertake in his next engagement. 

Fortunately there may be a glimmer of light (for the many fans of bicycles and Carlos here and abroad) at the end of the tunnel of Mr. Morales’s disengagement.  This, from our friends at ModeShift Omaha. 

 When the City of Omaha budget was released, it did not include the Bicycle Pedestrian Coordinator position. According to Mayor Jean Stothert, the position was no longer necessary because “the purpose of this position, the goals have been reached.”

So, for a moment, that was the outlook. It was bleak.

Today, things are very different. The Mayor acted fairly quickly to create the Active Living Advisory Committee and selected Julie Harris to be its first chair. Win.

Soon thereafter, several months of ongoing discussions between several city departments, Omaha by Design and others culminated in an agreement to create the city’s first Complete Streets policy. Win.

The Metropolitan Area Planning Agency (MAPA) then offered to ramp up its multimodal planning efforts if the city agreed to chip in a few bucks to make it happen. The city obliged. Win.

And finally, a position dedicated to multimodal transportation – a balanced transportation coordinator – was restored into the budget. As it stands today, the City Council approved a position in Public Works and the Mayor agreed to a similar position in Planning. There’s still the possibility of a veto, so we’ll see where this shakes out. Nevertheless, we’ll call it a win. 

Like the immediate future of multimodal transport here in Omaha, like Mr. Morales, and like my friend who dreams of becoming a wild artist, I, too, feel I’ve reached a fork in the road.  

I may gradually cease all blogging activities in a slow, disgraceful manner as I spend more and more time trying to keep our house from collapsing, gardening, and chasing Toddler Snot hither and yon.  This is certainly a possibility.  Hopefully I’ll be able to continue, albeit on an even less regular basis, to offer haphazard, inchoate, insightless drivel to those who can stomach it.  

As I reached my workly place a half a fortnight past I noticed that I had neglected to secure me trousers in me trusty rucksack.   Funny!  I was a little embarrassed, but I figured my time had come.  Luckily Mrs. Snot was kind enough to deliver a pair to me and all I had to do was wear paisley trousers that were a bit tight in the rumpus.  One place where arriving to work with no trousers might not be a problem would be over in bonny Scotland where everyone roams around with either pro-independence kilts, 

http://rt.com/in-vision/edinburgh-protest-scotland-independence/edinburgh-people-gather-rally/

pro-united kilts, 

http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/photographers-take-photos-of-david-coburn-mep-of-the-uk-news-photo/451543836

or perhaps even Depends comforting their private parts.  I, for one, am in favor of independence because it is likely to lead to an increase in Highland games and viewings of Braveheart.  I would also like to visit someday and it will be nice not to have to deal with those Lobsterbacks pushing us humble colonists onto a Mayflower and trying to teabag our rebellious nostrils!  And if our honourable United Stateliness is occasionally accused of neo-colonial behavior it’s just because that’s how we grew up – being oppressed by colonialists!  This is not to excuse our behavior in places like Granada or Puerto Rico, but merely to explain it.  Why, even as we serve as the frigid ice cream topping to the spicy, cinnamony cake we call Mexico, so too, we support our maple syruppy northern neighbors who cover us with their sweet stickiness whether we asked them to or not!  All of this is to say that we may have a limited amount of control over the ebb and flow of nations and power, but we can all relate to bicycles.  So let’s get out there and get soaked!

  

Here's what my tighty whities looked like when I got to my working home today.

Yes, those are soggy and slightly gritty skivvies, and no, I did not wear them.  In the words of William Wallace - Frreeeedommm!

Gingerly supporting the stand against the empress's axe!

August 17, 2014

So how have you been?  I know, I know!  Right!?  Let’s catch up over a smoothie sometime. 

In the meantime, you may have noticed that we bicyclers are generally in favor of things that make bicycling safer, easier, better, and that type of thing.  Thusly, we (and by we I mean lots of other bicyclers) have been voicing/stating/representing our support for one young crusader we fondly refer to as Carlos Morales, or Car Mor for brevity.  Car Mor has been approachable and effective as our fair city’s bike czar, yet now our erstwhile civic empress has knocked over the first domino in a line of dominos that is intended to end by knocking Car Mor out of a job!  There have been a number of newspaper articles and letters to the editor concerning Car Mor and bicycling in general.  This makes me feel like this.

That’s right, it makes me happy.  It is that time of year when I have a very large supply of homemade, highly carbonated ginger beer.  It is based on this recipe and is more unique and way easier than what I imagine most brewers deal with when crafting a more traditional blend. 

What it also means is that I am ecstatic that there has been more thought about bicycling ever since Car Mor arrived and that his seemingly impending departure has continued the trend in increasing bicycle awareness.  And although Empress Stothert has promised to put together a volunteer bicycle council, I have some minor experience in this realm as I served as the self-appointed, self-righteous, volunteer bike czar of the University of Nebraska for six months or so, and I can tell you that it is pretty hard getting things done as a volunteer.  I feel that this is due to a variety of reasons such as the following: 

1. we live in a capitalist society and money is a strong motivator
2. it is hard to take a volunteer council very seriously (both by the volunteers and by the public)
3. divisiveness amongst councilteers might cause frustration and ineffectivity
4. anyone who should really be on a volunteer bicycle council would probably rather be out riding their bike

So please re-elect/voice support for Car Mor to retain his rightfully appointed position of unilateral executor of bicycle and pedestrian empowerment.  I think of Car Mor’s role as being similar to that of Judge Dredd as illustrated in large, magazine-type format comics.

I have actually met Car Mor and I do not mean to make light of this situation.  In fact I must admit that I was a bit skeptical of our city's need for a bike czar, but I feel that his time in our city has greatly benefited us bicyclers.  The bike lanes in mid-town and downtown areas make bicycling in these areas a pleasure.  I actually feel kind of welcome on these roads now!  I think that many of us Omahans have come to respect bicyclers right to some road space and to notice bicyclers.  

Also a League of American Bicyclists representative rodearound our town for some time and offered multiple observations and suggestions.  Although I do the same on a volunteer basis, there has been a shocking lack of media attention to my various cockameny notions. 

In addition to basking in the warm glow of bicycle-related media here in our hometown, I have also been out on a taco ride and obtained gainful employment since our last interaction.  The taco ride was a few weeks back, and I happened to encounter my friend and role model Karol who was still wearing a pair of bicycling sandals that she has sported on numerous MS bike rides and RAGBRAIs.  

She also manages to get out and do stuff despite having two young tow-headed scamps to corral on a daily basis.  

The word “classy” comes to mind.

I have also noticed that a wetlands area has naturally begun reclaiming a section of trail that I occasionally traverse.

 

This is just ducky.

In regards to my return to gainful employment, I have found that the shoe fits, but I need to work on my choice in socks!  Let's all put our best foot forward and pedal/paddle our way to harmonious, multi-modal glory!

A plasmatic reflection

July 21, 2014

Have you ever been worried about your financial status in relation to impending financial obligations?  If your response is in the affirmative, then perhaps you have taken a trip down to your local plasma donation center (PDC).  I used to be a fairly regular donator back in my college days.  Then I returned to college a while back and eventually ended up spending most of my savings.  So yesterday I paid a visit to my local PDC. 

As I was heading over to video booth 3 to watch a video about plasma donation details and specifications, I clumsily bumped my foot between the chair leg and the wall of the narrow nook.  I ended up opening my elbow scab from the scrape I inflicted upon myself during my latest trip to Tranquility Park.  

After waiting around for another hour, the busy but amiable nurse examined my arms, dabbed my elbow with a cloth and got a little blood so I was summarily dismissed.  No open wounds allowed!  Well guess what, Nurse Friendly, I am clumsy and getting clumsier.  I am also a bicycler and a frequently confused DIY-er, so I will probably not be back to your PDC because I always have cuts and scrapes on arms and legs, etc.  But, please, both of you dear readers, do not fret about my financial situation.  I have a good job lead and I hope that I will not be needing the PDC’s $50 for 2-4 hours of my time (1^st visit, probably closer to 2 hours on subsequent trips).  It was still nice to get out for some pedaling.  The PDC also had a nice bike rack. 

On the way back I started reflecting upon my recent back-to-school experience.  I realized that I will never be a great rock-n-roll educator like I had previously envisioned.  For one thing, me and kids don’t have the same interests.  For example, I think my proper Hogwarts school is Hufflepuff, whereas an 8^th grader once tried to tell me she thought I was Ravenclaw!  As if!  It’s like these kids just can’t relate!  I also like One Direction whereas these kids are all into One Direction plus some other bands that I don’t know anything about!  My inability to find common interests with kids these days is so severe that I had not even visited the local BMX track out at Heflinger Park to try to communicate with them about something that I am vaguely familiar with - bicycles.  I had no intention of visiting it either, until I saw this sign.

I took this as a sign that I should visit the track.  It is very nice.  

A friend of mine informed me that they had recently finished some pretty major improvements.  I would have taken the Bastard on a lap or two, but there were pesky munchkins with large, full helmets and squinty eyes pedaling about sinisterly.  

One of them appeared to be looking at my shins the way a dog looks at a mailman’s leg.  I beat it.  Now I don't know much, but I also do not know anything much about BMXing.  I have a hunch, though, that there are parents who sign their kids up to BMX and parents who prefer a nice shady multi-use trail with their offspring securely perched atop a stable steed.

As I rode along the multi-use trail that now extends for much of the way from 90^th to 144^th on the north side of Blondo, 

I happily day-dreamed about retiring at one of our fair city’s nice-looking retirement communities.  

No I did not edit this.  The grass is really that green!

That gazebo looked like a sweet place to have a nice glass of iced tea and maybe some homemade ice cream.  I think I can handle the cantankerous part of retirement, but I’m not looking forward to the potential incontinence and related health problems.  I just hope I can ride my bicycle until I am 100, like in this inspirational novel/guide.  

Things are getting better.  I can feel it.  On the way home I even saw my Hogwart's school totem - the hard-working groundhog of Hufflepuff.  

Plasmatics?  Why sure!  Although I don't know if Wendy and the Plasmatics were bicyclers, they certainly donated some bodily fluids of many varieties to various causes!    

Ride far and free my friends! 

Tranqed and loving it

July 17, 2014

Did you go on the Owl Ride last Saturday?  Well, whoop-de-doo-who to you!  I hope it was an illuminating adventure.  I did not go because I was otherwise occupied - celebrating a birthday, if you must know.  How was it?  Well the birthday was great, what about the Owl Ride?  

As I was preparing my mountainous bicycle for my annual ride out at our fair Tranquility Park, I was (as usual) bitching to myself about something.  In this particular instance, I was bitching to myself about how much of a pain it is to remove my 1.25 inch smoothie tyres from my beefy Rhino Lite rims.  Do you feel me, or are you a person who has a road bicycle and a mountainous bicycle?  If you chose the latter, then perhaps you can still enjoy picturing my situation whilst you relax and enjoy a snifter of fine brandy in your silken night robe.  I am not in that category because I am a) cheap and b) low on funds at the moment.  Anyway, there I was removing my skinny-ass tyres

 in order to replace them with a wider 2.0-inch tyre I fondly refer to as “Pythons” (because the tyre is a Hutchinson Python) 

when I happened to espy this creature perambulating around in my immediate vicinity.

I was not pleased with this development because ticks are supposed to stay out where the long grass doth growest.  What’s next, will they be hanging out in malls?  I set aside my usual magnanimity towards our eight-legged friends and crushed him with my tyre lever.  That is one less Rocky Mountain Wood Tick to worry about friends.  You're welcome.  Then I rode my bicycle around the park, which was dusty, fast, and enjoyable.  If you are like me, you are a person who likes to go fast on a mountain bike, but who sometimes crashes as a result.  I crashed my bike by hitting my handlebar on a tree (I just got a new, wider handlebar).  

Then I met up with some friendly folks who also participate in T.H.O.R.’s trail maintenance and building activities at the park. 

 

Thanks Linda, Paul, and Eric!

Then my friend Rich got there and he talked me into riding his Surly Pugsley, which was fun.  It was less different from riding a regular mountain bike than I would have thought.  Not a bad climber.  Smooth and stable feeling on the downhill and bumpy sections.  A little easier to hold a line.  Comfortable.  I switched back to Shifty for the rest of the second lap and I continued to crash occasionally.  I finally let some more air out of my tyres in order to try to get a bit more surface area on the dusty dirt. 

Did you know that RAGBRAI starts next week?  That’s pretty neat.  Let me know how that works out for you all.  I hear that it is stopping in Okoboji this year.  That sounds pretty swell.  If I were in Okoboji I would jump into some water and shout “Whhooooo!” just like everybody else does.  I have never been there, but I do imagine mustering the funds together in order to take the family up there for a week of fun on the water someday. 

Did you know that Paul McCartney is on tour?  He even stopped here in Omaha for a little while!  As everybody knows, Paul has a deep relationship with bicycles and he and I were planning on going on a tandem bicycle tour of town, but then he abruptly canceled when I showed up in my usual full leather bicycling attire which apparently was not in keeping with Sir Paul’s vegan tendencies, not to mention his properly British sense of decorum.  I guess that was okay because instead of bicycling about with a gimp he got to spend some time with hisfine-brandy-drinking buddy Warren Buffett.  Sir Paul went on a bicycle tour of Santiago, Chile recently.  Apparently Santiago is the most bicycle-friendly town in Chile, if not the whole garden of L'America del Sud con accentes los perros y las perras!  It is also near Peru, home of Lima, which is where the Lima beans that I "just now" (i.e., yesterday) planted in my garden are undoubtedly from. 

PM and I are also no stranger to bike accidents on two wheels.  He told me that he was involved in an accident on a moped, which is not really a bike.  Here are some quotes from an interview that he did awhile back - 

He started to finger his lip, almost without thinking, and I asked him about the reports that he'd broken a tooth.
"You're right," he admitted candidly. "I did it not long ago when I came off a moped. Now I've had it capped... Look."
I looked but I couldn't see anything. A perfect mend. Only a small scar remains on his lip as a souvenir."
"It was quite a serious accident at the time. It probably sounds daft, having a serious accident on a motorized bicycle, but I came off it hard and I got knocked about a bit. My head and lip were cut and I broke the tooth."
I was only doing about 30 at the time, but it was dark and I hit a stone and went flyin' through the air. It was my fault... it was a nice night and I was looking at the moon."
He sipped his tea and reached for a cigarette.

I also sip tea, but instead of reaching for a cigarette, I prefer cheap vodka.  

Do you feel the need for speed?  Or at leat the need to see speed?  You could hop on a bicycle or a moped.  Or you may want to head on down to Offutt AFB to check out the air show this weekend.  You can probably see most of it from the south end of the Keystone Trail.  There is even valet parking on the Base for bicyclers.  Even if you just have one bike!  Funny right!?  Just don’t snort on that expensive brandy.

 

http://maccaboard.paulmccartney.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=86202&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=765&sid=1b384d2ef37882b90c8f9c361d268368

http://maccaboard.paulmccartney.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=86202&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=765&sid=1b384d2ef37882b90c8f9c361d268368