Three Modes of Travel

May 10, 2011

It feels like summer out today! Went for a bike and joined a large group of outdoor enthusiasts enjoying the sunny outdoors. Firstly, I noticed a young, helmetless daredevil proceeding audaciously down the middle of the road while looking at, and using both hands to operate, some type of digital device! "Ahea!" I groaned to myself. Secondly, I saw a young man who appeared to be texting while faced with the inviting glow of a green light shining down upon his visage of nonchalance. Not only that, he also had some skateboard-style helmet slung over his handlebar to protect his texting hand in case of mishap. I was shocked by the utter impudence of it all. Thirdly, a youngster riding a skateboard on the sidewalk caused me to take to the grass for a time. He then passed me by boldly busting through a red light and onto a multi-use path with the savoir-faire of an otter at play, waving at me as I waited for my chance to cross the intersection. Then a pedestrian joined the melee (avec accente SMASH!).

We eventually converged at the first island of safety in the trafficky stream of autos while crossing a bustling city highway. "It's hard to time these things." stated the pedestrian matter-of-factly.
The skater joined us., smiling puckishly. "Three modes of travel!" I quipped inanely, just as our footborne friend was about to speak.

And then we were off. Our moment of kinship was over (probably for the best, as I sensed nerves were beginning to fray). We narrowly avoided a collision on the far side of the highway and then I rocketed dorkishly down the hill, Planet Bike Superflash flashing its cadence of safetyhood for all to admire.

May 11, 2011

A good day for ducks. That is also the name of this painting by a talented local artist named Jen Beroila.

I was pleased to see a family of ducks out for a morning stroll near the multi-use trail.

Ducks are so heart-warming, and not just when their down is used to stuff coats and sleeping bags. I feel that we (like myself and yesterday's street-crossing companions) share a special kinship since their waddling, awkward-looking antics and brightly colored plumes are very similar to me and my brightly-colored, wobbly, bicycling progress up the hill by Woodchuck Holler.

As I pedaled home, I arrived at a stoplight and waited for a bit behind a coupe of some sort. When we got the green the driver was off! The back tire spun a bit in the sand and gravel that had been transported by some recent heavy rains.

Oh, that mischievous driver! I wonder if he was trying to playfully kick up some sand in my face, just like those smiling, larger, older scallywags at the beaches of my youth. Those kidders!  Ah, those were good, albeit confusing, times.

May 12, 2011

As a wanna-be Neonderthal (a kind of New Primitive or Noble Savage, ala Paul Gaugin's ideal), I am gradually trying to work my way backwards in the so-called time"line" of history. I employ the ""s because I believe (primarily from watching Doctor Who and Donny Darko) that time, rather than being strictly linear, is more like a spiral during which certain events occur closer in spirit to moments that may have occurred long ago "linearly." I am easily influenced by any new-age types of theories and trends. Hence my latest footwear purchase:

I am also interested in observing trends in history that conveniently support my overall outlook, much like the authors of many of the latest history/propaganda books (e.g., How the Irish Saved Civilization and Born Fighting ). So you can imagine my fascination when I was informed of an ancient Roman tradition that paved the way for our pale imitation of their decadence. As everyone knows, a turducken is an unholy abomination that involves a duck inside a chicken inside a turkey that is cooked and served as a meal on Thanksgiving. It seems to me to be a kind of sarcastic "Thanks, thanks a lot" since it is basically an unnatural co-mingling of disparate fowl, that implies the Providence-provided turkey isn't quite festive enough. Well, turducken lovers, the ancient Romans had your dissatisfaction beat around two millenia ago when they were feasting on a turducken inside of a pig inside of a bovine (a Bopiturducken)! Yes, I heard about it from a man who saw it on television while undergoing a heavily-medicated recovery from surgery.
　Well today I was able to spot some quarry that would perhaps provide a true Neonderthal hunter with a kind of suburban game version of turducken.

That's right, a rabbit inside a duck inside a goose- a gooduckit. No longer will families have to argue about whether it's duck season or wabbit season - it's both! And yes, "It's a goose, Martha!" I'm pretty sure that I'll soon be seeing my fellow suburban, Vibram Five Fingers-clad Neonderthal brethren stocking their prey with a high tech, neoprimitive tool called a compound bow. You bring the beer, we'll be back with the meat by 8:00. Coincidentally (or is it?), I have it on good authority that the upcoming Urban Omaha Ultimate Adventure race (June 4, 08:00) will actually consist entirely of bagging, preparing, and consuming a gooduckit as quickly as possible (extra points awarded based on pre-cooking weight). BYOBB (bring your own bow and bicycle). Yes it could get a little ugly as we Neonderthals jockey about on bike-back aiming bows into backyards along golf courses. I recommend keeping the dogs and cats inside.