Scapegoats! Graze!

May 4, 2012

Are you occasionally annoyed by the things around you? Do you feel restricted in your movements? If you answered "yes" to both of these questions, then there is a chance that you are part of something we call "society." It is kind of hard to explain, but it's basically everything humans put together when they live in groups. Society has its pros and cons. Pros are really good at things. Cons can seem nice but are often dangerous. Other people figure into society. Some of us are different from others of us in some ways. As a society, we determine what is important and what isn't.

Society also has scapegoats and people that are generally disliked and/or ignored. If you are angry or annoyed about something then perhaps you should find a scapegoat. Some people have scapegoats that drive large vehicles. We call these types of goats "truckers." Some people prefer to transform parents into scapegoats, generally a billyscapegoat and a nannyscapegoat, but sometimes its 2 of the same type of goat. Other people occasionally choose unobtrusive, yet often brightly colored, sweaty, glistening beings called "bicycle propellers" or, more commonly, "bicyclists." Lawyers. Grrrr. The possibilities are numerous. My scapegoat, now that George W. has mountain biked off into the sunset, is Justin Beiber.

blastro.com

If you need a scapegoat, I might suggest a guy named Bob Mionske, author of Bicycling and the Law. A bicycle-riding ambulance chaser! GRRRR! Even typing that sentence has irritated me. It is actually a book full of good anecdotes and historic legal interactions between bicycles and motor vehicles.

Having a scapegoat can be fun, much like having a real goat. A real goat might butt your foot when you hold your foot out towards it! How fun is that!? They can also keep your lawn short so that you never have to mow! And I can't help but smile after I yell, "Damn you Beiber!" If you don't want to leave your home to find one, maybe you can always order an e-scapegoat from the comfort (and hopefully ergonomically designed) computing area! Mmmmahhh, Mmmaahahaha (goatish laughter) ! Sometimes scapegoating can become sad and dangerous, however. Here is an example of a concerted effort to stop what might be considered by some to be a form of scapegoating.

If Clint Eastwood catches you abusing an elder, you will be receiving a bottle of whoop-ass that is aged to perfection. If you cut down a tree, you may have to deal with the wrath of the Lorax and/or Lorsaw. And if you run down a bicyclist with a motorized vehicle you may have to deal with some type of law, possibly, depending on what part of the world you are in. So there! Here is a recent tragedy that will result in uncertain consequences. Martin Cordes was tragically injured by a motorist in North Platte, Nebraska. He is the man who has given Nebraska cyclists some legal, albeit somewhat vaguely defined, protection from motorists. We all owe him a debt of gratitude.

Bicycle riders in various parts of the world have been banding together in solidarity to gain some recognition for the plight of the self-propelled 2-wheelers. On July 19, we Nebraska bicyclers will soon have a law on the books that requires a 3-foot minimum passing distance. Before the passing law was passed, I didn't really think the law would be a big deal as far as my day-to-day bicycling was concerned. But I do actually more than just a passing increase in my sense of security while bicycling since the bill was passed.

Sometimes motorists become annoyed with bicyclists and yell things at them. One motorist offered some unintelligible advice to me on my way home yesterday. I think it ended with "star" or "car." Maybe, "You ain't no motherfreaking star!" (due to my bright yellow shirt?) or "Get yourself a freaking car!"? I'm really not sure. Please feel free to clarify via e-mail.

As frustrating as bicycle/motorist interaction can be, I hope that we can all try to keep some cool heads on our sweaty shoulders. At least an irritated motorist yelling at me acknowledges an awareness that I am on the road. The most dangerous situations are obviously the ones in which we don't see each other! Look at me! I'm the sweaty star of my own ongoing show! Of course the only one generally paying any attention is me, and hopefully all the motorists in the vicinity! Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
BS