Soggy saddles charge!

April 4, 2015

Hey Easter!  Hey people! 

Do you like to sing loudly and/or yell stuff while you are bicycling and/or motoring?  Yes?!  Me too!  Here is one thing that I was hollering for at least 10 minutes or so a couple weeks back.

It was fun, but it was even funner when I was whizzing at moderately fast speeds going downhill.   For safety reasons I did not record a video of that situation!  Speaking of safety, have you seen these sweet helmets?

Which one is that?  You will know when he is slicing the paw off your curious pooch with his katana down by the pond!  

Do you remember that sweet laser light I mentioned a while back?  No?  Well, it was pretty nice, but the bracket didn’t hold it on my seatpost very well and now it is gone.  So it was fun while it lasted. 

April 17, 2015

So what else is happening?  Have you been out to enjoy some lovely pedal time?  How about reading and/or viewing stuff about bikes to get amped for some pedaling of your very own? 

Here is a piece by my erstwhile mentor whom I have never met, but who is always welcome to stop by to visit Mr. Bike Snob NYC.  In it he cleverly pastiches together a dystopian image of unreality in which bicycles and cars are no longer the best of cheery happy friends.  Yesterday a girl yelled at me from her open car window as I was bicycling merrily along upon our glorious multi-use trails.  Her words were, “Have a nice riiiiiiide!”  Indeed my springy exhorter!  Exhort away!

Ah, peace, harmony, springy intoxication!  Let’s all ride about with joy, without cares!  Just be careful if you happen to be riding in a crosswalk in Nebraska, because if you are hit you may be sentenced to community service detailing the cars of people who have had their God-given right to turn right without noticing pesky 2-wheeled mossy-like gnomes galumphing recreationally off to Funville ingloriously defiled by ungrateful galoots.  Here is more about this –

As you may already know, bicyclers who have the misfortune to suffer a collision with a motor vehicle in a crosswalk here in Nebraska are not likely to have much legal recourse under existing state laws.  As I understand it, a bicycler struck by a motorist in a crosswalk can’t sue the motorist.  But the bicycler may be liable for having the gall to ride across the beautiful pavement that is intended for enjoyment by the mighty stewards of freedom we reverently refer to as our mobile auto-eroticisers.  Thank you legislators for reminding me that bicycles belong on the side of the road where I am less likely to “Have a nice riiiiiide!” because traffic is whizzing by me at 45 words of texting per minute!  Ay yi yi!  What a world! as my Uncle Sol used to extoll.  Ay yi yi indeed!

Springly sprung

March 27, 2013

Hey Homers and Homees.  What is the latest sense/nonsense?  Good.  Good?

Well let me tell you, there is some stuff happening.  Why just the other day I saw this sign in someone's yard.

Nancy Kratky.  Belle of the Spring Balle!

That is a sign of spring.  Other signs of spring include men and women "hawking their wares" on various street corners around town.  And by "hawking their wares" I mean setting up large yard sculptures that you can buy.

Well, everyone knows that spring is that special time of year in which pretty much any bird you encounter is likely to be drunk on fermented fruits of some sort, but did you know that it is also the time of year where mayoral candidates are engaged in some verbal sparring?  Maybe some verbal thrusting.  Parrying.  You get the, touche avec accente!  Mon dieu!

Here is an article I perused in my daily periodical.  It's about bikes and bike lanes!  Yay!  If you don't care to read the entire article I can summarize it thusly, Mayor Suttle is pro-bike lane.  Mayoral candidates Dan Welch and Dave Nabity are anti-bike lane.  Candidate Welch states, furthermore, "I haven't seen a bike yet, but we're backing up traffic."  I don't consider myself a one issue voter, but I do have a very limited attention span, so I've pretty much decided who gets my vote because I'm probably not going to read much more about this bicycle mayoral race.  However a quick bicycle tour around town with the Snot might quickly change this voter's mind!  I've even got a few bikes we could use.  The inaugural Mayoral Candidate Bicycling Voter Wooing Ride is just what the organized bike riding season needs!  How's this weekend work for you?  I'll bring the fermented crab apples.

Speaking of drunken flyers, I watched Flight last weekend.  I didn't care much for the plot, but Denzel Washington's flab acting was captivating.

Denzel is a large hefty big proponent of bicycling, as evidenced by this photograph of DW with the late, great Tony Scott.

www.gossiprocks.com

Gay marriage is a hot topic.  But not as hot as this photo of some gay divorcees avec accentes, no mon cheris?!

ridesabike.tumblr.com

It's also time for Easter.  Kids will be out pedaling bicycles from church to Easter egg hunt to Easter egg hunt to the bar and then more Easter egg hunting and/or flying.  Let's keep an eye out for them.  Also the birds.  Those crazy drunken birds!  I noticed some fat, happy robins had pretty much occupied this tree that had originally been occupied by some fermented crab apples.

There were still some left, so I stopped in to see what all the fuss was about.

Hmmmm.  Not too bad!  The wary, inveterate drunkards were a bit stand-offish at first.  But after I munched down a few perfectly fermented crab apples they seemed to accept me as one of their own.  So grab yourself some fermented crab apples and meet me at the corner to check out the ware hawking/werehawks as we celebrate the Full Moonday tonight and the Maunday Thursday on Thursday!  Get your pagan/Christian mofo mojo working and get festive!  Yah-hoy!