Let's travel by bicycle! Vicariously too!

Hi there.  Do you enjoy reading about actual people actually bicycling in places that are picturesque and are considered cultural or similar?  Yup.  But that doesn't mean you can't read this blog too.  Did you read this article by an actual author of novels on the Bicycling magazine website?  What a great bout of escapism while sitting/standing/pedaling your stationary bicycle at your desk or equivalent!  There's also an article about how to ride a double century.  No thanks.  I think it would probably just be easier to take a sledgehammer to the balls or similar a la Jackass 5 (avec accentes) or equivalent.  

So have you jumped on this bandwagon?  Yuckity yuk.

While tuning in to this bandwidth, I have been pleased to enjoy the pleasing and satisfying sounds of rotator cuff recovery.  And of course I'm still wearing my shoulder brace that I purchased from some online bike retailer.  And applying ice.  Mostly while at work at the word-processing plant where I don't type much slower with one hand than two.

Alright.  I guess I may have outdone myself with half-assery with this blog entry.  But there's a photo, and here's a video to make it seem a little beefier.  

Like the guy on the progym EXTREME box.  No, that's not me (although that is my lucky foot).  Although I generally try to avoid EXTREME events, I had a gift card and this one had the ankle loops in case I want to get creative.  I just hope I don't get caught.  Gettin' EXTREME n' shit.  Wheeewww!

Charity Ride, grumble, grumble, FUN!

April 28, 2013

It might be a stretch to say that I enjoyed seeing many other bicyclers out at the Bike for Sight event that I participated in yesterday.

No reflection on the event.  It was good.  I may be getting more cantankerous, but being around a bunch of fellow bicyclers on a big one-day event (I think the MC said 450 bicyclists or so) just wasn't that exhilarating to me this time.  It probably doesn't help that my friends and family that participated are equally antisocial, cantankerous, and/or unpleasantly obnoxious and none of us rode together for more than a few minutes.  Kind of like a bunch of lonely, angry moonshiners shooting at each other if anyone approaches their stills.  Just like I think probably happens in Hatfields and McCoys, although I haven't seen it yet.  This ride has a pretty enjoyable route that was very similar to the route we used for the ride last year.  I thought the route marking was a little easier to follow this time, but I think I may have still been off route for part of the returning side of the loop.  Here's the photo of the map I took but did not look at at all during the event.

My favorite part of the ride was looking at some of the scenery and mostly not taking photos because I was either going fastly downhill or else there wasn't an easy place to pull off the road or I was just lazy.  I saw what I believe were alpacas or sheep of a very long-necked species.  I saw many horses.

Here are some young bulls.

Also, kids, here is what actually happened to Mike Mulligan's Steam Shovel.

I passed a historical marker for the old Shipley Cemetary.  Like everything else in the general vicinity of Hummel Park it is very likely haunted.  Also this marker by the entrance to Hummel Park that informs the literate viewer about Camp Lisa.

After the ride I stretched out and enjoyed a saxaphonist playing some tunes along with a recording that sounded very good and jazzy.

Yeah dude, saxaphones rock!  I wonder if I stand around talking to you about it long enough the sax man might let me play along with my uke.  It's in my backpack.  Huhh, hunnh!  I said MY UKE IS IN MY BACKPACK!

Then I went to get a beer.  The Nebraska Brewing Company representative said that'll be $5 and I fled in cheaply terror!  I was hoping to get a free beer, but I wasn't about to shell out money for beer or food when I had a Teen Snot and Baby Snot back at home to help feed!  The food may have been free, I don't know.  I've got my priorities dammit!

Silvery Lines aboot my UNLy Campus!

April 26, 2013

Having heard that our State's beloved Husker factory of UNLiness had been awarded a League of American Bicyclists' silver medal as a bicycle friendly campus, I swiftly happened to be on campus and I figured I would document bicycley stuffs I encountered.  Astute as you are, I'm sure that you've noted my increased penchant for using even more cutesy made-up words than usual lately.  I apologize and I wish I could do something to limit this, but it is likely inevitably progressing much like a terminal sickness as I spend more and more time with Baby Snot and less time communicating with my fellow adults.

Anyhoohoo, here are some of the bicycle-related things I observed during my field trip to the UnL.

Ass you can see, there are many bicycle related signs instructing bicyclers about where their bicycles belong.  And in a nice, polite way for the most part!  How pleasant!  This is good because it means that bicycles are more or less accepted as a part of campus life.  The campus probably didn't get a gold medal because then the signs would say things like "Leave your bike wherever the hell you want!  We don't give a fuck because we fucking love bicycles!  Huzzah!"

Some older, more succinct remnant signs were also hanging around and obstinately stating things a little less politely, but just as instructively

Here is a terrain park that invites bicycles, but not climbers or swimmers, to enjoy a traipse through some obstacles and "get rad" as they say.

Hey climbers, waders, and swimmers!

Find your own damn campus to be friendly to you!  Hah!  Yes, the bullied have become the bullies!  And so the cycle continues.

I did mean to go check out what exactly a silver medal in bicycle friendliness ecktually entails, but I was too busy getting some slickly tyres and a slick carbonated handlebar on my faithful steed Shifty.  I put my bar ends back on because I like to be able to move my hands around on longer rides, but I must admit they look a tad ridiculous.

What is up?  Well, if you are part of our far City's public works department, you have pulled off yet another tongue-in-cheek clean up of the old local multi-use trail/street.

I suppose you are providing for your job security by ensuring you'll be back?  (subtext = please come back now and then)  Or maybe you just don't give a fuck.  I prefer to think it's your whimsical sense of whimsy.  I will be sure to scoop up a trowelfull of the large pile of temporarily solid mud every once in a while and maybe by the time I retire from bicycle commuting it will be gone (or nearly so).  I will move the mud to the City's many rutted out yard corners and I will not ask for anything other than fawning admiration from anyone who notices my noble deeds.  Confusion or annoyance will do to.  I'm not picky.  Just want some attention.  I blame Baby Snot.  Just like when I fart.

Oh and here's my best shot of Woody that I've ever taken!  I was looking for him so I didn't spook him today.

Soon he will be riding along in my pannier and chewing on cookies!

Happy pedaling/chuckwatching/gassiness!

Rabbit's foot

April 22, 2013

Today was Earth Day, earthlings!  Galactify!  What did you do to celebrate?
I went out for a bicycling ride for a change.  I saw some earth in action.

These rainy days are good days to get out and about for many types of earthlings (e.g., human, animal, vegetable, etc.).  I was aboard my bastardly bike and had commenced careening downhill at speeds that may have been close to 30!  (kilometres per houre - sounds faster than 18 mph, eh?)  I suddenly realized I had struck a glancing blow to a furry bunny with my front tyre!  Yep.  Bunnered the little bunnee, as they say.  I didn't turn around to see what his foot fate held in store.  But I think he might have been (arguably) lucky.  May have only been his foot.   Lucky.  My foot.  I'm just glad he didn't get stuck in the spokes!

In other critterly news, here is a fuzzy photo of a woodchuck that I espied down at Woodchuck Holler.

He scampered back to his home once he noticed the brightly bungling bastard and I barreling down the hill by the holler.  No luck needed to avoid a collision.  Just some recklessly extreme caution and a fear of shadows!

Pursuant to lasterday's post, here's a video that is all about bicycling and stars Morrissey with his co-stars - the rest of the Smiths.

I learned today that the University of Nebraska-Lincoln is now a Bicycle Friendly Campus (silver)!  Whooo-yeah!  I am glad to hear it.  My main memory of bicycling around this campus is coming out from my art class where I had been lovingly chopping up wooden pallets to find that the Old Young Bastard Bridgestone's saddle and seatpost had been seatjacked!  Kind of makes this saddle look a little more comfy, eh?  Shortly thereafter I purchased a saddle/seatpost combo from some guys in a basement who didn't really have a good explanation as to where the parts came from.  Vicious cycle, eh?  Yuk-yuk.  Yep.  But the saddle/seat combo was only $10.  And $2 for the bike seat leash.  I wonder if this whole bicycle-friendly thing was orchestrated by the bike thieves to get more hot seats...

As they say down unda', Lock 'em and load 'em and keep them lucky rabbits outta yer spokes, mates!

Stickin' it to ya

April 21, 2013

Do you feel like someone "stuck it to you" last time you purchased a fancy bicycle?  Financially, that is?  Well if you don't mind/kinda like having it stuck to you but you don't have a lot of funds to fork over the forking cash, here's another option I was made aware of by a friend of mine.

Do you get honked at when you are out enjoying a nice round of bicycling?  Yes.  Mostly when I'm riding out in the suburban streets/multi-use pathways and motorists get real nervous when they see human-powered two-wheelers and their human companions anywhere near their intended trajectory.  Well I can relate.  When I see a vehicle or pedestrian that might turn into my intended pathway I respond by paying attention to that vehicle/pedestrian, which is my form of honking.  I think the honking is well-intentioned.  In this world there are honkers and honkees.  Also crackers and crackees.  And if you think either of those are funny you are either white or a racist.  Or both.  And if you think that's funny than maybe you will enjoy this video of the infamous Warlock Pinchers in action performing a song that is probably not considered culturally appropriate.

So what have you been up to?  Did you make it to any Earthen Day activities?  How were they?  I did not get out to participate because I was busy getting Baby Snot fitted for one of those infant bicycles.  I know some people prefer tricycles for 4-month-olds.  But those people are having it "stuck to them" by the man.  That extra wheel is unnecessary.  Kind of like the Easton friction paste the instructions on my Monkey Lite XC carbonated handybars tell me I should use.  Screw you, Easton!  I know it's my safety at stake, but I didn't use it on my last pair and I'm fine, as far as I can tell.  "Why do I use carbonated handybars?" you may ask?  Oh.  You're not asking?  Fine.

What other events are appropriate topics to type about these days?  What?  I can't hear you!  Maybe I got some Easton friction paste in my ears.  Screw you Easton!  Oh and thanks for the bar.  Looks good.  But not as good as Morrissey!

www.kerstinrodgers.com

Cold worms, hard feelings

April 11, 2013

It was a tough week for worms.  First they got flooded up onto the ground surface.

Then they got hail fury hailed upon them.

Then they got froze.

The world ain't always kind to critters having so many hearts and no brain.
It was a good week for carnivorous birds, though.  They could eat fresh worms on Wednesday, worm puree on Thursday, and frozen wormsicles on Friday.  Mmmmm.  Get after it, early birds!  And there's also the potentially fermented crab apples.

Possibly left over from last year.  They tasted fermented to me, anyway.

It was also a good week for mudriding.  Although the mudslide on my local multi-use trail has been slightly ameliorated during 2-3 half-assed removal actions taken over the past 2 years or so, it is still ready to open its goopy arms to embrace you upon your multi-usefulness.

It is also getting to be the time of year where events of all sorts are being planned and executed mercilessly.  Have you ever asked yourself why worms get pushed out of the ground during the rain?  Or why frozen worms taste so good on a chilly spring morning?  Do robins eat worms?  Or maybe what your optimal gear for spraying your bicycling companions with mud as you traverse the mudslide might be?  If you answered affirmatively or even neutrally to one of these or a similar question of your own choosing, then perhaps the inaugural Nebraska Science Festival coming up this weekend at a variety of venues is for you!  Starring one William P. (Bill) Nye it'll be a chance to let your geek flag fly freely and flambuoyantly!  Get it?  Buontly?  (snorty geek laughing sound!) Let's go!  There's even a dancing scientist!  Wha!?  Am I dreaming?!  Feeling bloated, sore, irritable?  Of course!  Aren't we all?!  A Health Expo with some walking, running, bicycling and combination events (including an alleged gran fondo) occurs this weekend.  I am not sure exactly what a gran fondo entails, but I think there's time for eating.  Probably fondue.  Lots of it.  Let's do some binging and then feel better by stopping in for an adjustment of the spine and/or attitude!  And if you need a fat ass nature fix after being cooped up in your ugly tastefully-furnished abode for most of the winter/early spring, maybe you should get out and enjoy some Earth Day activities coming up on and around April 20th.  Bands, beer and booths at Elmwood Park.  Probably some bikes and bikey stuff.

Now that I've got a Baby Snot to tote around and limit my shoulder-rehabbing progress I notice adults and their offspring are everywhere!  When did this happen?  Why just last weekend a wee one was out with his pa going door to door.  I thought maybe he was peddling something.  Might ring the bell.  Baby's sleepin'.  I moved grudgingly towards the door and opened it after he'd already stuck a flyer on the doorknob.  He noticed me opening the door and his dad motioned for him to return and face me.  He was a scout in uniform.  It was a chilly morn, and his dad had a jacket, but he didn't and seemed a little sniffly and way more grudging in his actions than I!  The dad had a look of dutiful resolve mixed with a kind of pained empathy.  Impressed, I glanced at the flyer and said I'd be sure to leave out some food for the scouts to collect and feed to the hungry.  I plan on it.  The sniffly scout is pretty convincing.  

This got me to thinking about Baby Snot's future, and my childhood, and how the two would compare.  Organized activities were a formative force in my early, even-more-impressionable-than-now years.  Soccer.  I had no idea what it was when my dad took me to some kind of informational presentation and signed me up for a team called the Demons.  I think I got traded.  Not demonic enough, I guess.  My first game I got stuck as goalie and the other team scored 13 goals.  We got one mercy goal when they switched goaltenders towards the end of the game.  I stayed in our goal the entire game, but I stopped caring about trying to stop the ball after goal 8 or so.  I had a temper tantrum after the game and got bitched out by the hard-ass Air Force officer/coach.  Oh, those were the days!  For some reason I stuck with it for five years and got to enjoy it somewhat, eventually.  Perseverance.  Suffering.  It's what gives kids character and values, right!?  Maybe a few phobias too.  What's not to like?

Scouting seems like it might offer some similar benefits.  Maybe bicycling, too!  The thing I liked about bicycling as a kid was that no one was barking at me and telling me what to do while I was out pedaling.  And I've totally recovered from my emotional scars inflicted by the air force coach.  Those Air Force uniforms at RAGBRAI 2009 were alright.  I mean there was an eagle on the ass, for Chrissakes!  It's almost as convincing as a snivelling scout!  And I even talked to one and I didn't even try to strangle him!  Hiking's good too...  

Sticky talons of piercing truth!

April 5, 2013
It's good to get out and move a little, even when you are of a phlegmatic temperament.  Get's things moving.  Shakes things up.  Results in massive snot rocket impacting crank!

I call this glaze "IRSnot."

Thank you Dr. Sanguinary.  Blood's not the only thing bike-riding'll get flowing!

Once I had arrived at my place of work at the bobble-head assembly plant I noticed a bird of prey, possibly a Sharp-shinned Hawk, that appeared to be engrossed in grossly disemboweling some hapless critter that had been ensnared in its talons of piercingness.

At lunch a noticed that there wasn't much left of the unfortunate pigeon.

After work, I noticed that my new crank finish had dried to a lovely, multi-colored glaze, reminiscent of an elegant ash glaze thickly (and forcefully) applied to a supple, long-stemmed carafe.

I took the photo first, then I noticed that my fore-tyre had gone flaccid.  Had the fearful, sharp-shinned master of the skies snuck inside to pierce the Old Bastard's happy tyres like a fat pigeon with its shuriken-like talons?  I glanced about uneasily.  Further observation revealed that the deflation was due to a small glass shard in my faithful tyre's rubber.

Tyre valve nut encircling glass shard.

Nothing like a little piece of something abrasive to reduce a stiffly virulent tyre to ineffective malleability.   Damn.  Even my protective Mr. Tuffy tyre liner had not been able to deflect this pernicious booger of silica.

Made it home in time to get the Bastard hosed down and lubed up and ready for the next round!

So have you met Mr. Carlos Morales, our fair to middlin' city's Bike and Pedestrian Coordinator?  Here's an article that explains some of what Mr. Morales does for us Omahahans.  And here is an interesting, if long-winded, 2011 article that explains something about how his position came into existence and how his salary is comprised of public and privately donated funds.  Mr. Morales has recently been mentioned a few times in the local newspaper as a kind of symbolic bicycling bogeyman who gets paid huge amounts of hard-earned taxpayers' money for painting bike lanes where no one wants them.  Well, I for one would like to mention that he is also a pedestrian coordinator/bogeyman.  So don't forget that!  And furthermore I am glad he's around because we probably would not have as many bike lanes without him.  Or as good of a chance at getting even more of them constructed as soon as possible.  A Bike and Pedestrian Coordinator is just what this city needs to turn a good city for biking into a great one!  Oh and for walking too, yawn.  Now let's bike!  or walk or sleep or whatever you wanna do with your weekend.

Public interest or not, here we come!

April 2, 2013

Do you wish to create a sanctuary that reflects your unique personality?  I agree.  Where to begin?  Is your sanctuary Cheers?  What?!  Mine too!  Cliffy!  Other types of sanctuaries include homes, gardens, bathrooms, the ping pong arena, or live-action role-playing.  And bicycling!  As we all agree, bicycling along down a hill at a comfortable speed is great.  It is easy to drift into a state of active relaxation that is moderately meditative in nature.  Although I have been refraining from bicycling these past few days due to a rather abrupt whalloping by the flu, I do recall bicycling in a wistfully romantic way.  And why not!  I often remember days or moments before becoming sick as being vividly enjoyable and sensuous.  Why, last time I was out on my 2-wheeled mule I was bicycling uphill when all of a sudden I noticed a pair of rugrats scampering about their yard enthusiastically in the warm glow of a spring eve.  One gave me a "Hi!" in a confrontational tone.  I rang my bell.  She started running to keep up with me as I pedaled upwards at an unusually brisk pace, buoyed by the pleasant clime and a chipper attitude.

"Why are you bicycling?!" she demanded.
I rang my bell cheerily.
"Why are you bicycling?!" she persisted.
"It's fun." I wheezed.  Ding!
"Why do you keep ringing your bell?" she inquired, easily keeping pace with my belabored climbing.
"It's my way of saying 'hello'." I managed, speaking quickly so as to get it all out between huffs.
"But, actually, why are you bicycling?!" she queried spontaneously.
"It's how I get around."
"I'm, running, just...."
Hmmm.  I guess she wasn't really in it for the long hill haul.
"You're a good runner." I observed.
"Thanks."
Ding!

Ah!  Good old fashioned chit-chatting in the happy springy outdoors!   The memory of that bright evening has helped me make it through the past few days sitting around feeling crappy and doing as little as possible.  What have you been up to?  What?!  That was you!?

As you may have noticed, there are some spring bicycling events occurring that might be of interest to you.  I am planning on attending the Bike for Sight, 9 a.m. on April 27, starting down at Miller's Landing.  It seems like a good route and the cost is not as high as many rides, weighing in at a lean $22.30.  I think most, if not all, of the money raised goes straight to paying for Haitian peoples' eye surgeries.  And I also believe that Nebraska Brewing Company will give ya a beer or 2.  It's a win-window of double-paned opportunity, as they say.  

And there's a summary of our cities mayoral candidates views on transportation here.

I'll be checking in again soon.  I am happy to be breathing freely again and I hope you had a nice time fooling everyone with your crazy April Fool's antics!  Please send photos.