Bippity bi-polar barely bears!

February 23, 2012

Like the strange dichotomy of Dr. Watson/Mr. Holmes, or Uranus and Neptune, sometimes the weather in Nebraska is a bit schizophrenic. As you may recall yesterday was delightfully warm and sunny, whereas today wasn't! Imagine that! Here's a photo of yesterday,

when it was so sunny that I noticed many pedestrians out walking their dogly friends. A possibly retired couple even waved at me! A kid in a short-sleeved shirt got out of a car at a stoplight, narrowly avoided being sideswiped by another car in the neighboring lane and threw coins at another kid in another car! Pretty zany! I saw a kid on a foot-powered scooter. I even saw another bicyclist as I approached my abode of homeness. It was so nice out that people were getting into all sorts of trouble and I noticed an ambulance making a beeline towards someone involved in an accident, possibly caused by spring-like-weather-related recklessness.

Today was slightly soggy and (in the afternoon) pretty windy.

I had a nice talk with a fellow employee at the tack and feed wholesaler where I wholesomely wholesale. He asked how far I lived from the warehouse and I told him (5.5 miles). 20, 25 minutes? he estimated. No, oh no. I laughed self-deprecatingly. About a half-hour. I'm pretty slow.

Yeah, yuck it up you speedsters. Your girlfriend wasn't laughing. Oh, wait. Yes she was. I'm not slow at everything. And I think she's seen my bike.

So what's new with you? Reeaally? Yawn. No, no, I'm not bored, just tired. I have been so busy working for my bacon that I have become unaware of any interesting events that might be occurring even as we speak. Let me look into this and get right back to you.

Say what you want about Lindsay Lohan, but she is apparently no stranger to bicycling.  Here she is in a photo I found on justjared.com (what?!) in a slightly suggestive-looking situation.

Hey, I don't care what's happening below the waist there, she's wearing a helmet so anything goes! 

An undisclosed source named Jared tells me that most of her skits as she hosts the upcoming Saturday Night Live will be bicycle-based.  Jack White, who may actually be the polar to Jack Black's bi-, will be the musical guest. 

Two sides of the same coin?  Photoshopped?  What do you think?

They may do a suggestive duet on bicycles, or at least I have suggested as much to Lorne Michael, who is also a nearly avid bicyclist (he's executive producer of Portlandia, so he must be!  right!?)