Price of soil - $1.57/40# bag

March 28, 2012

Planning ahead is not necessarily one of my strong suits, but then again neither is extravagant spending. So you can imagine my nonplussedness when I arrived at the hardware store with a hankerin' for topsoil, but without any bungee cords! So I found a stout, yet inexpensive nylon twine and made a purchase!

Sometimes the sprightly yet swift handling of the modern USian bicycle can be disconcertingly invigorating to a staid personality such as mine. That is why I felt quite comfortable tying a 40-pound bag of topsoil

on the trusty, 21-year-old Blackburn Mtn Rack

and riding up and down a few hills to return to my homestead.

I was actually very pleased with the handling of the Old Bastard while transporting this earthy burden. Old B was sedate and smooth. Just like my digestive system. Plenty of momentum, which actually even seemed to help on the uphills!? I may have to find a 40-pound pet of some sort to cart around in a pet basket of some sort. I made it home without popping a spoke or a tyre, and I had 2 to3 credit cards' thickness worth of brake pad leftover! I was impressed with myself.

Although the Old B is heavy by US standards (about 2 stones with no accessories), I am pretty sure he's right around the world average. Let me check on that. Yep, took a worldwide survey and 2 stones and 5 cobbles is the world average.  Here is a summary of bicycle-slimming trends.  Also, although the Blackburn Mtn Rack held the load admirably (beyond its rated load capacity of approximately 2 stone), many foreign bicycles have been known to transport up to 3 family members to and from school on a daily basis. I should mention that the Mtn rack makes a pretty decent rear fender and also may have prevented some wheel damage in a slight rack-bender that I experienced with a car back in my younger years.  What we USians lack in slenderliness, we USian bicyclists attempt to make up for in our concern with bicycle hardware weightliness. Having said all that, I am pretty sure that Old B is heavier than 4 fat rabbits I have seen out cavorting happily with the bosomy robins tweeting contentedly about their way. So maybe if I can't find a 40 pound kangaroo to cart around I should just go with 4 fat rabbits. After seeing many fat rabbits on my bicycling experiences I began singing a song to myself, called "Fat Rabbit," which is based on the Foreigner tune "Hot Blooded." I was amused, as I am just as easily amused with myself as I am impressed with myself.

As it is now very warm out, I've been engaged in a moderate amount of bicycle-related activities. I put on a pair of new spokes! Just in time for some topsoil hauling. Whooo-yeah!

As many of my animal friends can appreciate, spring is a time of sowing seeds and hoping that they come into contact with a fertile substrate. To that end, I planted some grass seed and some salad greens last weekend. I neglected to check the status of my topsoil supply (yeah, I know, rookie mistake). So I threw down some topsoil, raked and watered and then kicked back with a glass of The Three Philosophers Belgian beer/ale mix. Delightful!  Now if I can just tempt a 40-lb. kanga and/or 4 fat rabbits into my passenger crate I'll be blessed with smooth riding for the foreseeable future.  Hippity-hoppity!

A new age of peaceful mountain bicycling

March 21, 2012

Caution- Incohesive rambling ahead!

I hope you had a good vernal equinox. Mine was good. I elevated my computer to accommodate computing from a standing position . (I stacked it on top of my stereo, a History of Far Eastern Art and a cassette tape handleless briefcase [great for road trips with your cassette stereo-equipped hatchback]). "Why did I do such a thing?" you may or may not be asking. Well it's because I don't wanna get too comfortable. If I get too comfortable I'll probably wanna take a nap and then I wouldn't be able to sleep through the night (aaaaahhh!). That is a scary thought. There are many things I like more than bicycling, and one of them is definitely sleeping. I hope I don't lie awake tonight thinking about the horrors of napping potentially causing me not to be able to sleep.

Today I stopped by the grocery store after work to purchase some beers, and this is the one I chose.

Samuel Adams' Alpine Spring (it's beer, not soap).

It is very good, thank you for asking. The guy at the liquor part of the store and I mocked the weather people and their ridiculous predictions (hail, thunder, lightning, etc.). Well of course they tell you that so that you will stay inside with your television instead of going outside with a hoe and planting lettuce or going for a picnic or whatever other crazy outdoor activities you kooks are enjoying these days.
Then I met up with a pedestrian at Chatty Corner. "Nice day for a bike ride." remarked my new acquaintance in a friendly sarcastic manner and laughed.

It was a little drizzly.

The ducks are back out. Mallards. I counted seven in the drainage area along the multi-use path. Then on the way home I saw a red-bellied woodpecker. I thought that was pretty neat-o. I read that Greg Miller, the man who was the inspiration for the box office joke movie Big Year is in Nebraska this week for a series of lectures. Wow. First Rick Steves now Greg Miller!? Who's next, maybe ex-Peace Corps volunteer, current handyman Bob Vila? Jimmy Carter? Or Ilchi Lee? We can only hope for our favorite. But these three are really our only choices.  It is Nebraska, after all.

Monday I hit a pothole on my way into the gasket-testing facility. There was no caution sign. Here it is.

It was drizzly. Do you know where it is not drizzly? Sedona. Have you ever been to Sedona, Arizona?

It is a lovely part of the country. I'm pretty sure that it's a good mountain bicycling area. I went for a backpacking trip near Sedona once and had a great time. It is also home to a school run by Tao Fellowship a group inspired, at least in part, by the teachings of Mr. Ilchi Lee.  Many of their retreats occur at the lovely Sedona Mago Retreat.  Mr. Lee is the founder of the International Brain Education Association.  Although education is often thought of as being primarily brain-based, I learn mostly with my skull.  I hit things with it and then try to avoid them next time.  My muscle memory, especially when it comes to falling, is also probably a bit keener than my brain memory.  I have a vague connection with Mr. Lee in that I attended a tai chi/meditation school (now known as Dhan yoga) that was based on his philosophies in Tempe, Arizona. for at least a month. Although, I have returned from serving my time my residency in the Phoenix area, the indirect teachings of Mr. Lee have mostly stuck with me. And based on this connection, I am planning on approaching the Tao Fellowship with my idea to start a Tao mountain bicycling/bird watching camp for young enthusiasts in the Brain Education spirit of learning. First I will require some free brain education/ washing and an attitude adjustment.  The Old Bastard might need a new coat of paint.  Mountain bicycling and bird watching oughtta cover the main interests of young campers with a yen for catalyzing world peach peace. I am pretty sure that the Mr. Lee will be thrilled with this idea, since he was inspired to begin his spiritual teachings after a time of fasting and self-denial upon a mountain. Bird watching and mountain bicycling are considered forms of self-denial by most of today's youth, so perhaps they can come to the same sort of realization that Mr. Lee experienced. Leave all your baggage behind young ones, let us bicycle/bird watch into the lofty clouds of Sedona-buzz. If you don't like the idea of new age mountain bicycling, you could always purchase a Giant Sedona bicycle to help try to fill that void in your soul, loser.

Blarney visits Umoho

March 18, 2012

Yesterday I went on the 18th annual Blarney Stone Run by the Missouri River. I got there early to get a good parking spot and loosen up. I walked around to limber up a wee bit. As I strolled along the banks of the mighty Mo' I happened upon a Sign. I saw the sign. It opened up my eyes as to the origin of the name of our fairly fair city - Omaha. As you can see in this photo, the tribe from whence the name came was actually pronounced Umoho.

It meant "against the current." Here on the Umoho side of the Mo', there are those who go against the current. They are called "boaters." In the bicycling and riverine biological world, they are called "salmon."  Others go mostly with the current. They are also called "rafters" (few in number) and/or "corpses" (moderate in number, as far as I know). I stretched and got a good view of some wee wispy clouds.



Doesn't this look like a running leprachaun to you, too?  No?  Well what does it look like then!?

 Here along the banks of the Mo', we are gaga for Lewis and Clark information, monuments, reenactments, conversation and naming our children. Lewis, as usual, gets most of the attention. Probably because you can name girls Lewis. Not too many wee girls are named Clark. You have to be one that goes "against the current" to name your wee baby lass Clark. Two out of three children born upon the Umoha side of the shores that day were named either Lewis or Clark. The other one was named Patrick.

Here is a monument that represents a fanciful, poetic interpretation of L&C-related events. Here is a young L&C climbing enthusiast getting in some adventure-oriented activities to liven up the atmosphere of the historical monument.

Glad to see that you've got a spotter there, young go-getter.  That is the bouldering equivalent of a helmet.   Some think that a crash pad is the equivalent of a helmet, but they are wrong.  The crash pad is the rear taillight of the bouldering world.  And a helmet is the high-visibility safety vest of the bouldering world.  And now that we are through with that exercise in inanity opining, here's the Blarney Stone bit!

Gradually Mr. Ewoldt and his henchpeople herded us over towards the starting line. I noticed some Canadians close to the line, along with some other spectators.

The anticipation built slightly and then, we were off! Approximatel1y 2,000 runners or so, I reckon.  [race organizers' stated around 900 finishers, I guess I was exaggerating?!?!?]

This was the first time that I ran this route, but it was quite enjoyable. A large group of runners, lots of them in Paddy-based regalia, smiling spectators and a fairly scenic, interesting route. The highlight for me was traversing the Bob Kerry pedestrian bridge.

With so many runners on the bridge, it bounced a wee bit, making me feel as if I were aboard a river-faring vessel. A land-lubber lost his legs, but appeared to be none the worse for the wear. Other people leaned over the rail, possibly wretchedly retching into the accommodating waters of the Mo'. It was the first time I'd been across the bridge, but 'twas an immensely enjoyable trip. It was an out and back course, so we turned around a K or so south of the Iowa end of the pedestrian bridge. I huffed and puffed and felt kind of warm. I lost sensation in a limb. And made it back to the finish line! Whew-hoo!

The after run festivities were very nice. I met up with some friends and we sat on the banks of the river near the River City Queen, ate some pizza, drank some beers, caught up a little. They had a Boulevard Irish Ale on tap. Dos Equis, too, Boulevard Wheat, and some Budweiser beers. Only complaint- not enough cheese pizza. (I only got 2 pieces, wahh!) The evening began to cool and we saw a muskrat scurry by, a comfortable distance away (they can get a wee bit aggressive, dontcha know).

I have noticed that many organized bicycle rides are upcoming. I think there will be some days with multiple rides to choose from. April 14 is the Bike for Sight ride, followed by an Umoho Health Expo ride (appears to be a similar course) on April 15!  I will plan on getting some miles in, hopefully easier miles, since I've got a different gear (switching from 44T to 38T up front) and a new chain for the Old Bastard. The Bastard is so heavy that I go through brake pads every 6 months or so. Fully loaded, my bicycle weighs as much as a small Shetland pony (2 stone or so, I reckon [ed. note - 2.5 stone or so fully loaded is probably more accurate, around 2 gloriously unfettered]). And believe me, like most bicyclers, I avoid braking as much as my slow, cautious bicycling style will allow. So now I've gotta get a few new spokes, maybe some slickish tyres to have around (my roadie-style tyres are getting to be pretty elderly). Also a six pack of brake pads.

Hey, it's spring! Time to reevaluate and get ready for warm, possibly moist action. Let's do it! Do it! Umohooo!

Springy anger

March 16, 2012

An Irishman once told me that it's true what they say about the Irish. "We love to fight." he said.

Whoa. Not me. I love to love. Love me. Not you. Me. Everyone else.

I occasionally have violent thoughts and behave belligerently. Some confrontation is natural. But as a Nebraskan I try to avoid it, most of the time. Right around St. Paddy’s Day, early spring, I sense a kind of anger permeating the beings of us all. People honk at me more than usual while I am bicycling about. This morning someone honked at me for not coming to a complete stop at a residential stop sign at a deserted intersection at 7 a.m. People yell things at me. Things like, “Hey! You look pretty cool! (intelligible, possibly drunken nonsense talk) Lance Armstrong!” (speed off in parents’ SUV). I get mad when people are blocking the multi-use path entrance at intersections. I show my anger by refusing to brake and bumping precariously over minor curbs. Then flying the bird behind me, when the chances of actually making my point are minimal. What a rush!

I get compared to Lance a lot. I think it’s the yellow jersey, or maillot jeune, as they say in francais sil vous plais.

Maybe my bike. My jersey accentuates my nipples a bit more than Lance’s, though.

It’s not about the bike, it’s about the nipples.

Let’s see what Livestrong has to say about nipples. Alright, so that link is focused more on women's nipples, I think most of us are. 

Bicycles are now being used in advertising things besides bicycles. Like this sign at the vitamin shop.

I’d say this is a good sign for bicyclists. yuckity yuck.  I have often thought I would be a good bicycle jersey model. I also can do the disgruntled bicycle commuter/comic relief bit in my sleep. Give my “agent” (aka me) a call. A little extra cash on the side can’t hurt. The price of gas may soon start to affect the price of my bike parts. Possibly the attitude of my fellow road-users as well.

Can’t we all just get along? You lookin’ at me?!

Anniversary!

March 13, 2012

Can you believe I have been engaged in my no longer newly-found hobby of web logging for a whole year?! A lot has happened since then. Wars. Weddings. Weremoles. Wine. Weiner. Weiners. Winning. And, of course, what have you. These are things that I mostly haven't noticed much, since I've been spending so much time in my comfortable basement, hunting and pecking at my keypad. Diligently oblivious to other events and possible activities. I might even have been able to earn a correspondence degree or been able to communicate in Japanese if I'd invested all this time in something more "productive." Darn. Maybe if I find a good correspondence degree I'll throw in the greasy, chain-cleaning towel. On the other hand, at least I'm not on crack or a serial killer or a soccer player or all three, like the star of this online comic.

How has your past year been? Good I hope.

Yesterday I took my daughter to see a slide show presentation by the inimitable Rick Steves at the Joslyn Art Museum's Witherspoon Concert Hall. And despite how that may sound, yes, I do love my daughter. We got there early to get a seat. Rick claimed to be presenting a 3-part talk. The first part was entitled "Travel as a Political Act." The second and third were allegedly entitled "Europe through the Back Door (parts 1 and 2)." Rick came out and preached at us as only a convert can. Yes, he has repented of his Americaness and is a convert to the insufferable, rational-humanist European way of life. He even threw in some actual religious talk, mentioning, "I got no problem with hedonism, I'm a Lutheran." I think he might've been being snide and/or sarcastic, because I grew up in a Lutheran family and hedonism was frowned upon. Every time. Lots of frowning. You know how those Europeans are with their humour and/or wit.

Although at first I glowered in superstitious suspicion at this generic man of the world, I was eventually impressed by his frank, straightforward talk. He didn't dodge the controversial or unpleasant subjects. He actually kind of drove the tour bus right into them. Here are some of the topics he covered:

1. Cheese that smells like the feet of angels.
2. Teary-eyed Germans looking over the shoulders of their elected representatives in the Berlin Parliament with the symbolic glass dome
3. Legalization of marijuana
4. Legalization of prostitution
5. European junkies vs. American
6. The humanity and beauty of the Iranian people (death to traffic!)
7. The widening gulf between rich and poor

He did it all in a no-nonsense, conversational manner. Somewhat pedantic, but he got his point across. My interpretation of his theme was - Fear is often a product of love (protectiveness) and ignorance. Mindful travel is the antidote to fear.

We left after the first part of the talk. All of his travel shows are apparently available on hulu.com.  Rick is currently engaged in his "Road Trip USA" tour of talks/slide shows.  He may even come to your town!

It appears that we may have had a short spring, since it is now very warm and summery the damn grass is already looking pretty green. I swallowed my first few gnats of the year soon after my first bat-spotting. My Illuminite jacket is about due for its annual washing, as evidenced by the greasy ring-around-the-collar.

Then I noticed the bat bikes have already returned to their roost.

As you may have noticed, it is almost St. Patrick's Day. I generally like to commemorate this event by going on a run (or possibly a bike), drinking beer, and then shaving for the first time since Halloween. Although the entry fee is an onerous $35, I plan on participating in the Blarney Stone 5K run that will take place this Saturday down by the river (Miller's Landing). Come on out for the fun!

Shopped out Friday!

March 9. 2011



BCD = bolt circle diameter, the diameter of the circle formed by the stack bolts/bolts. I think BCD is also related to milatary-provided spectacles or "birth control devices."   Also "bad conduct discharge."

As for the bicycle-oriented BCD, you can also measure the distance from the center of one crank bolt to the next and multiply by 1.701 (5 bolts), 1.414 (4 bolts), and if you've got some other number of bolts, then you probably can figure it out on your own (or just check in with Sheldon), because you have what I consider to be a "freak bike" and are probably freakishly into calculating your own BCD. Thank you for the wisdom, late Sheldon Brown, you magnificent dork, you! After some impatient checking around my online dealers (man, I just need a fixxx...), I decided on Jenson Bikes, where I purchased a 38T, 130mm BCD chainring for $38 or so. Then I added a 20T cog and a chain for a reasonable $58 or so. I looked into getting some Panaracer Ribmo 1.25" x 26" tyres (up to 100 psi!) for $33 each, but I was feeling shopped out. Whew! Quite the effort! Having to concentrate, measure, calculate...!? I know, I claim to be of the bike dork ilk, but my patience is fairly limited when it comes to this kind of decision making. Baby steps. And what's up with Jenson having a website anyway? I thought they merged with Performance. Please advise.

It was very warm in my environs today. Thanks to this favourable clime, a family member acquiesced to being seen pedaling around on bicycles with me. Hooray! She called the Old Bastard a "cute little bike" because her bike's a little taller and sports 27"(!?) tyres. Ouch. I have generally been pretty happy with my bicycles. I enjoy occasionally pondering the idea of getting a road bicycle or a 29-er. But I'm not enthusiastic enough about the idea to actually start shopping for one. Hell, I got pretty stressed out just getting new drivetrain parts!

Tough day at work at the old punch card manufacturing company. I was barely able to make it through the day, and I didn't even work a full day! Luckily I had the incomparable Mark Mallman on my MP3 player to keep me pepped up. Mr. Mallman is awesome, as a Minneapolis mayoral decree decreed. Here is a music video.

Mark Mallman is the musical version of a veteran RAAMer. He has performed musical marathons not once or twice, but thrice! Marathon 3 was a 78 hour long song complete with 576 pages of lyrics, with breaks taken only for heeding the call of nature and a brief consultation with his "physician."  And his songs are catchy.

Thanks Mr. Brown, early spring, Mark Mallman, family and online dealers! You made my Friday! I get by with a little help from YOU!!

Europe. I see your back door is open...

March 8, 2012

Do you like unfamiliar places? Did answering that question make you as nervous as asking the question made me? That's alright, (sooth, sooth, calming mantra, calming tea, yoga, breathe, etc., etc.ehhhtcssssaaale). You may or may not be an intrepid adventurer with a yen for exploring the wide world. In either case, I heartily and soulfully recommend Rick Steves' Europe. He is a neutral, generic, dorky guide to various places around Europe. His show airs occasionally on PBS stations across the country. And he will be here in Omaha to present a slide show, talk, Q&A this upcoming Monday at 7 p.m. at Joslyn Art Museum's Witherspoon Concert Hall. His presentation is called "Backdoor to Europe" or something similar. This is not to be confused with the specialty video called "Backdoor to Europa." I may try to get up the gumption to attend this rare opportunity. I occasionally imagine traveling to Europe, the land of my ancestral conceptioning. My mental image of Europe is mostly shaped by films, most notably European Vacation, Hostel, and In Bruges. Be that as it may I do have a few small goals I wish to accomplish should I ever set foot on this cosmopolitan continent. Here they are:

1. Climb an alp.
2. Swim a channel.
3. Telemark in Norway.
4. Eat a schnitzel.
5. Watch a bicycle race.
6. I might stop by Amsterdam.
7. Hell, I might even run into RS himself!

Rick Steves, being a kind of unwillingly accepted step-child of Europe, is also known to bicycle about various towns, while talking into a camera. Here he is bicycling around some rural-like area of Holland/The Netherlands.

As I gracelessly age, I become less motivated to pedal forcefully up and down the suburban hills I am wont to haunt. To that end, I am about to swap out my 44T chainring with a 40T or thereabouts. Now I just have to find the best deal, which entails shopping around. I will wonder what the hell those specs describing chainrings reference. I will consult the web pages of another unwitting mentor of mine, the inimitable Sheldon Brown, may his soul be pedaling happily wherever it chooses.

See you at the back door!

BS

Holy Mole!

March 6, 2012

Today there was an extreme sense of springiness permeating the air. And, if you were in my vicinity, you may have also noticed an extreme amount of gassiness. The springiness was visible in brightly painted, possibly spring equinox and/or Easter-inspired utility locates near some of the intersections I typically cross.

The ground in other places was extremely soft and had visible signs of mole dwellings and their usual routes and intersections.

Some of the moles appeared to be of the "Holy Mole (con accentos bastardos)! " variety. As in "that could be a real big, aggro mole under there." Just look at the size of this mole mound! These uber moles may have been responsible for an abundance of squirrel corpses in the vicinity.

They are possibly responsible for the undercutting of the underpinnings of our very society....sidewalks!

Their huge lairs may have also attracted a springy abundance of insects, which in turn brought about my first bat-sightings of the season. It also reminded me of that time I ate a bunch of mole (con accento, amigos, con f-ing accento) and became very gassy.  I love mole.  Please send me some.  As you may know, mole is from places like Mexico (the bicicleta de Norte America, which supports the large buttocks we call the USA) and other regions further south.

Possibly due to my extreme gassiness the moles did not threaten me with their possible uncharacteristic aggressiveness/rabidity. Despite my cloud of protection, I did not tary, for it was a nearly full moon and I did not want to risk an encounter with a dreaded weremole.

Actual spring must be on its way, since I have begun receiving flyers for upcoming spring bicycling opportunities, such as the Great Plains Bicycling Club's Spring Fling. It takes place on Saturday April 21 in the Louisville/Eagle vicinity and I believe there's multiple mileage options.  There is also a Bike for Sight event starting downtown at Miller's Landing on April 14, with a mere $20 registration fee.

Children have been out in more abundance than usual. Some have attempted communicating with me. Some have not recognized my wheezy attempts to responsd as actual words and become offended. I got a "Fine. I see how you are!" in response to my perceived ignoring of his cheery greeting. I think my bell will have to do the speaking for me in the future.

Ding, f-ing ding. Pthphthpth! "Mol-e!" (con grande accento, gracias!)