Hello to you.I hope
you are doing well.I had a change in
plans and was able to make it out for some owl riding this past weekend.“How did this happen?” you ask?You don’t ask?
Well boo-whooo!Whoooo!
Here is a video of the OWL Ride from a handy side street:
It was a neat vantage point.
I did not initially think I would be able to make it out for
the ride because Teen Snot is typically at work on Saturday eves.This week it turned out she did not have to
work, but I didn’t find out until Saturday eve itself! If there is one thing I have noticed, it is that parents are nearly as oblivious of others and their plans as teenagers. Thereupon I sounded a quick owlish alert to
my OWL-loving friend Rich.We quickly
flew from our perches and eventually alit here at the Crescent Moon –
a quaint
watering hole conveniently located upon the OWL route.But before I made it that far I stopped to
enjoy some nightly views, misinform passers-by, and take a bad photo.
“What’s the ride for?” a curious, gangly fellow inquired.
“For fun!” I responded, nothing else coming readily to
mindedly.
“Fun?”
“Yep.” I confirmed, more confidently.
Well, it wasn’t long before I began reflecting upon this
unlikelihood. Fun is something we midwesterners look upon with suspicion and/or disdain. Furthermore, I do not believe I have
ever partaken in a non-competitive group bicycling event that did not support a
charitable organization of some sort.So
here is my attempt to rectify the fuck $#%@ out of my blatant untruth.
The OWL Ride raises funds for the Meyers Foundation for
Disabilities (MFD).MFD improves the quality
of life for those with disabilities by providing financial and volunteer
support to help adults with disabilities engage in fun, social activities at
the Munroe-Meyer Institute that they otherwise might not be able to participate
in.Not only does this provide a great
opportunity for our disabled friends, but it allows their families a small
break in their caregiving routine.Here is some more information about this wonderful organization.
Our friend Nick joined us on this night flight.As Nick arrived so too did a fellow in a Gatormobile.He informed us that the water stops and
police presence were being discontinued.
“You guys’ll be alright, right!?” he queried jocularly.
“I think so.”I
replied uncertainly.
I had a delicious Belgian beer.
We conversed. We examined the route map. We eventually departed.
We stopped at Beer and Loathing.They also had a New Begium bicycle.
I once drank several beers to earn some raffle tickets to try to win one of these sweet cruisers. They raffle them off annually or
so.
We cycled on, occasionally noting some other bicyclers,
generally moving in a similar direction.
Eventually we made it back to the beginning and had a beer
at the Storz Trophy Room Brewery and Restaurant.
Rich and Nick said there weren’t as many people
as last year, and, therefore, not quite as festive. I think everyone had fun. And Rich told me about this freaky video.
If we can make toast with bicycles, what else can we do?! Perhaps a microwave?!? I think there really is hope for the human and/or bicycle race! Let's toast! BSO
I went outside to walk over to a restaurant to meet my dad
for lunch today and I squinted into the overcast sky as if I were gazing into a
blazing Washington forest.It was then
that I knew I had been wearing my safety glasses a lot.This made me smile as I squinted.A tear of discomfort and joy watered my
narrow eyes and I remembered that it is the joyful Eye Injury Prevention month
of July.
I also have been enjoying the fabulous Action Cam that I
received from Mrs. Snot for my birthday awhile back.I attached it to the side of my helmet as an
afterthought this morning before two-wheeling off to the ball bearing balancing
shop.
It flopped around ineffectively on
my way to work.Then I tried again on
the way home.It seemed to be going very
well until I noticed via my shadow that the mounting screw had not been
sufficiently tightened and my Action Cam was now aimed floppily off to the side
at a somewhat obtuse angle.Oh, the
childlike joy of being a newbie at something!
So what’s new with you?You don’t say!Isn’t that the
way!I know, I know!Right!?
Now settle back and enjoy this eye safety video from the
comfort of your environs.
July 11
Tonight is the Owl Ride, which is I am sure will be
enjoyable for all.I will not be
participating because I am staying at home with Toddler Snot.We’ll be fine.I may get him out there on a Strider or a
pony or something next year.Speaking of
Striders, hold on for a minute I’ve gotta check Craigslist.
Sweet!$40 ain’t
bad.We’ll see how that pans out.
Alright, please let me know when you would like to meet up
for a ride and I’ll be sure to join you and/or make a counter-offer, toddlers welcome.
Happy Fourth of July weekend!I hope that you are enjoying it.
I am doing alright, thanks for your
concern.Our house has recently been peed
in a few times by Baby Toddler Snot and now it smells a bit like a cat’s litter box
when you first open the door, but you don’t really notice it after awhile.
I have been out for a few bicycle rides as usual.I also received a neutral to mildly favorable
review in someone else’s blog’s comments, which reminds me of this awesome song
that I recently witnessed one of my idols, Mr. Alford Yankovitch, perform recently.
Here is the aforementioned review:
Anonymous said...
While the Snobs away, we could read
Bike Snot OMA (Omaha) instead. He is the opposite of the snob:
"it took me back to my goodle
days of life in a large desert town. I lived in a crack neighborhood in a
trailer in the side lot of Jim’s place, next to the bus. I met crack whores
aplenty and witnessed some unabashed prostituting to buy the shiny crystalline
substance. I worked crappy jobs, played my guitar, and cranked up the swamp
cooler and drank Red Dog in my trailer while watching Phoenix Coyote hockey on
the tv to cool off in the heat of the late afternoon/early evening. Ahhh! That
felt cool!"
Well, thanks, I guess.This is also what I told my father-in-law when he informed me that he had
purchased me a ticket to an upcoming Great White/Warrant concert. Usually when I am quoted it's not as accurately, nor in as much detail. In fact most of my friends try to politely ignore my web-based journaling hobby and/or ask me questions like "What motivates you to spend so much time doing that?" Well, the answer is - I like to bicycle, and I like to express myself. But I am not very good at either of them, so I work at the museum gift shopette.
In real news, Hope Solo and her gang of hooligan jocks are preparing to attack Nadeshiko – Aya Miyami and her fellow Onna-bugeisha. Also, I think there might be some bicycling and/or bicycling-related opportunities available in the near future.
The Owl Ride is in a week or so (July 11).
RAGBRAI is coming up soon. Tour de France is happening. There are a pair of French bicyclers who are bicycling across the U.S. This last
event reminds me of my goal of crossing the English Channel on a paddle bike.
This
will be exhilarating and nearly as relaxing as bicycling on rural gravel
roads. Afterwards I will paddlebike my
way to Germany and enjoy the Rhine River’s quaint castle-hostels and delicious
beers, wines, and goats, as advertised by the worldly Rick Steves. I will attempt
to convince Mrs. Snot, Teen Snot, and Toddler Snot to join me on this venture
on a four-seated, tandem-style paddle bike - a kind of river serpent (i.e., a naga) with moderately flexible connections, but I’m not sure they’ll go for
it. Luckily Toddler Snot is fairly
agreeable to adventures of any sort, as long as they don’t involve a lot of
fireworks, so I think I’ll at least have a co-pilot.
Afterwards I will find a swamp and start a swamp-paddlebike
fishing business, which I assume will be hard to market, but unrewarding.
My future’s so bright I’m pulling my hat down over my eyes and taking a nap.
Part 0
Hello. I went on an excursion this past weekend that included gravel and lots of it. In case you, like I, recently, have had trouble sleeping, here is a slideshow recapping of the first 180 minutes or so of it. I will get back to you with some more specifics, time permitting. Incidentally, I slept soundly last night after employing some earplugs based on the advice of the one and only Selene Yeager.
Pleasant pedaling to you!
June 25, 2015
Part 1
Alright, I'm back! That was quick!
Happy summer!The
evidence is undeniable and all around us.Here is a
field of wildflowers.
Down in Woodchuck Holler
There is a broken
Bud Light bottle that somebody threw angrily towards a multi-use trail because
they made a poor decision when purchasing their beverage, and probably also in many other areas of life.
It’s warm, sunny. People are walking, running, smiling,
bicycling hither and thither.
I enjoyed some bicycling in some thitherlands a few days
ago.It was an excoriating,
exhilarating, exhausting occasion entitled the Good Life Gravel Gran Fondo down in the Mineola, Iowa area.Bicycles are neat.They can go
lots of places.They will probably,
someday soon, be ridden on Mars and the moon.Yes. In that order.
The short synopsis of the gravel is – steep, gravelly, kind
of monotonous, hot.Kind of like a Greg Brown song.
A more elaborate description of my first intentionally
gravelly bicycling experience follows.
I didn’t really expect to enjoy the event, but it was great! – especially now that it is over and I am comfortably documenting my
reminiscences and wishing I hadn’t eaten so much for dinner that I don’t feel
like there’s room for a beer in there!Oh, the good life has its dangers, my friendos, mild dangers, but
dangers nonetheless.
Now where was I?That
was what I was asking myself through a good deal of the GLGGF2.Well, here is where I was!
I was talked into this situation by my dear friend
Rich.
On the drive down to Mineola I
realized I’d kind of forgotten how hilly it was out there when you’re not on the
Wabash Trace Trail!A pleasant resident
of Mineola named Calvin said we could park in front of his pleasantly shaded
abode.He claimed to be in his 90s and
the oldest resident of the town!It was
hard to believe due to his youthful appearance and mischievously curious air.We got a course introduction by one Mr. Rafal Doloto, who, I later discovered, had set the course.He said these were his favourite roads
to ride around in these parts.
Cowbell! We started pedaling at 9:05 and
it was immediately enjoyable!Not too crowded, not too
fast or slow.It did get steep pretty
fast, but all the recent rain kept the dust down and the gravel was pretty
consistent and not too loose.I heard
someone question why these were Mr. Doloto‘s favourite roads.I think he said something about them being
rough and hard to smooth out/hold momentum.The first 20-some
miles or so went by fast and I found myself at a peaceful oasis of a church
somewhere out near 350th and Hutchings Avenue, I think.A SAG
stop was perfectly situated in a lovely shady yard that was pretty sweet.I checked my phone and found that Rich had
suffered a mechanical problem and bailed.Bummer.I explained the situation
to the personable guys
at the SAG stop.They commiserated with Rich’s situation.Those burly guys always have more mechanicals we agreed.I ate some an orange, a banana, I opened the
unopened fig bars and consumed a couple.The “Good Life” part of the event title was not false advertising!The guys mentioned something about another
SAG stop around 35 miles.Nice! This just keeps getting better!
It was shortly after leaving this oasis of pleasantness that
my Sony Action Cam (A gift from my formerly betrothed) stopped recording, thus the
end of my minutely auto-photos documenting my progress and constituting the relaxing slide show located overhead.I think
it got too hot.The owner’s manual
states that it’ll shut itself off if it gets too hot.
We hit the concrete of Highway 34 for a few miles before we
got to the outskirts of Malvern.I rode
past my turn onto Keys Avenue, much to the consternation of a mature gentleman
on a Gator.
“Hey!” he yelled and honked.“That way!” he pointed emphatically
“Thanks!” I replied.
“There were a bunch of ‘em went that way!” he
elucidated.
“Are you headed for Malvern?” he wondered.
We discussed the situation.“Is this a designated course?” he queried bemusedly.
“Yep.Seems a little
odd, doesn’t it?” I responded.I
endeavored to explain my understanding of why I and my fellow participants were
here.“I guess people just want to try
riding somewhere different, something kind of new.”
This seemed to satisfy him somewhat.“Are you riding the Wabash?”
“Just for a few miles.It kind of winds all around.”
We examined my course cue sheet.
“Yep.Sure does.”he agreed.
He said it was about 8 blocks through town before I hit 2nd
Street and discussed a few other roads I’d meet up with.“You best keep out those directions,” he
advised.
“It’s kind of like a scavenger hunt – looking for your turns
– mixed with a bike ride.” I decided.
“Thanks again”
“Have a good ride!”
I enjoyed the town of Malvern and its nice houses and
shade.There was a sand quarry outside
of town and then a nice shady spot to pee and enjoy a delectable Jet Blackberry Gu.It was there that I encountered the first of
a few people who informed me they were experiencing leg cramps.This guy was on a mountain bike and had
started the 100-mile ride, but was now just planning on heading straight back
due to his cramping.It was nearing
high noon and it was heating up!
Part 2
I bicycled along for awhile until I met up with a couple who
had stopped in the road and were consulting their cue sheet.
“Are we on course?” I inquired gamely.
“I think so, but our mileage is off – we just jumped up 10
miles in about 20 minutes, so I think we missed a turn.”
After further conversing, I informed him that he had printed
off the cue sheet for the 100-mile route.Okay.Problem solved.I began to prepare for more pedaling.
“Can I take a picture of that?” Eric inquired.
Oh!Of course!A few minutes later the problem was more
thoroughly solved!
I pedaled on at about the same pace as Eric and Abbey for a
while.We came to some nice high hills
with views and I enjoyed a swift and comfy descent aboard my trusty steed
Shifty on Keys Avenue. I hopped on the
Wabash Trail at mile 37.5 and eventually came to the realization that if there
was a SAG location anywhere in the 30 – 40 mile point in the ride, then I had
missed it. This didn’t seem like too big
a deal at this point since I still had a half bottle or so of water. Eventually I was out of water and neither the
hills nor the sun were relenting one bit!
I was around mile 42.7 and I figured I could make it back, but I would
be in pretty bad shape if I didn’t stop somewhere and get water. Just as I was considering approaching the
next friendly looking farmhouse and inquiring after some cold, life-giving
liquid in a disarmingly harmless manner or casually refilling at an unattended garden hose I came to a crossroads. I happened to glance to the left and beheld
the welcoming outskirts of what turned out to be Silver City – a place I had
visited a few times on some Wabashing ventures.
I made it to town and to the Standard Oil hitchin’ post where I was able
to fill my CamelBak and my water bottle and soak my trusty Halo. I told the enchanting ladies sitting outside the shop
that I used to stop at the sandwich and ice cream shop when it was open. They informed me that there was a bar in town
that served tacos on Tuesday. Hmmmm. Intriguing.
Refreshed, I resumed my sojourn.
I passed a bearded buck of a man pumping up his tyre with
what appeared to be a floor pump with a randonneuring-type of bike and
associated accessories at the top of a hill.We heard a pop!I thought that
perhaps it was his tyre, but I glanced over and both of his tyres were still
nearly fully inflated.
“What the fuck?!Were
those gunshots!?”
“Maybe a pellet gun.” I responded, pedaling on
unconcernedly.
He passed me a few more times and then stopped to pump up
his tyre so that we were kind of leapfrogging our way back towards
Minneola.Since he had a couple large
randonneuring satchels attached to his bicycle I didn’t think to ask if he
needed a patch.As he was pumping up
just outside town I asked how long he’d been dealing with that hassle.
He kind of snickered.“50
miles or so.Since around 9.”
I was flabbergasted!I guess he was on the 100 mile route!?Maybe he didn’t have a patch kit in his voluminous pair of
satchels?!Whatever the case, it was
kind of too late to try to help this surprisingly calm fellow as we reached
Minneola.
I staggered over to the cooler and proceeded to whine about
the difficulties I’d encountered one by one.I downed beer after delicious beer from the ride organizers generously
unguarded cooler.
Then I staggered into Tobey Jack's for a free drink and food that was included with the $25 entry fee.
It was there that I met Pam from Cycle Works and her gentleman companion. I politely offered them my meaty sandwich and in return received some salty and savory snack foods. They were engaging conversationalists, and I heard a bit about the 100 mile version of the Dirty Kanza, an upcoming (as in tomorrow!?) gravel ride out by Gothenburg, Nebraska. Pam leads a weekly ladies bike ride down in Lincoln. She informed me that last year women spent more money at bike shops than men! Wha!? What is going on!? Will they soon spend more money at bars, too!? Haha? Not funny? Well at least you're used to that if you've made it this far. I don't think I'm sexist, but I am cheap and I buy almost all my bike stuff online, so I guess this makes sense.
When I awoke the next day it seemed as if it had all been a
dream, but the heat rash that lingered for the next 2 days was evidence that it
had been all too real!
Thanks Rafal and friends for a unique and enjoyable adventure! It was peaceful, contemplative, scenic, I got in my zone. I may even do it again someday!
So grab some tyre patches and CO2 cylinders,
plenty of patience, water, a sense of direction, a set of directions and/or a
GPS and let's rumble, grumble, and whatever the hell else it takes!
