Training for the VLT drawing!

May 31, 2011

As it is now the season of races and outdoor exercising I am in serious need of assistance. I have determined that, since excelling at any type of single event is not my forte (con accento macho, you bastard!), it would behoove me to design a special team shirt or costume of some type in order to feel the thrill of accomplishment that is otherwise held very far out of reach (generally completely out of sight, in fact) in front of my rabbitty nose. To that end, I have cranked up the Badly Drawn Boy music and retrieved the trusty sketch book from its wooden crate. As I have been assigned to Team Wheezy for the upcoming Grand Gooduckit Gorefest (aka the Urban Omaha Ultimate Adventure Race- coming right up on June 4), I am putting my subconscious to work on a grandiose design which can be crafted with Sharpies and a few v-necked, size L t-shirts (aka VLTs). These VLTs are likely to be hand-drawn by Yours Truly. This could be it, my big chance at being a success, being a weener! I will keep you posted as I progress haphazardly towards completion of this noble endeavor.

I have also noticed a lawn decorating trend that has caused me to break into song on occasion after occasion. Here it is:

Yes, these wooden wheels are littering lawns like their scorched and gnawed upon ancestors once littered the sides of the Mormon Trail. They remind me of the Old Crow Medicine Show's smash hit - "Wagon Wheel," which I have been singing during my travels in areas where this type of decor is prevalent. and can be heard in this video.

I also came across a field full of Rumex crispus during my latest training run to the store to buy beer.

Don't be surprised if you see plumes of smoke inexplicably rising towards the western skyline of suburbia. But instead of the usual tea party burning of Obama in effigy, the source this time may be a large bonfire with three large vats of boiling water cooking up mass quantities of thrice-boiled R. crispus. Ah, yeah, it's a suburban bonfire and R. crispus party waiting to happen!

Well, enough jibber-jabber - I gotta get my logo designing groove on if I'm gonna create the best Urban Adventure Race uniform ever! Hold onto your VLTs! Be a weener!