Telemark Nebraska!

December 21, 2011

Now that I am about to turn 40 I have further broadened my interests somewhat to include telemark skiing. Yes, I am a sucker for outdoors activities that typically take place in the steeper portions of the country. Bungie jumping and budgie hunting. Rock climbing and painting. Hiking and getting lost. Telemark skiing, however, is a bit more extravagant than most of my former favs. It's expensive. I bought most of my stuff at this website, which seemed to have some below-average prices. And I don't live anywhere near a good place to use them. And I don't really know much about telemark skiing. As the gentleman at Scheel's quipped while he was thermofitting my boot liners, "I used to live out in Montana near Bridger's Bowl where there were a lot of telemarkers, now I live in the telemarketing capital of the country."  Here's an example of what I got when I Googled "telemark Nebraska."

I'm pretty sure telemark skiing is for people who either want to get out into the backcountry for some expeditionary skiing excursions. Or for people like me who like to be different. Yes, it's kind of a common kind of compulsion for those of us who might otherwise/still be considered bland.

First I shoveled the driveway and the sidewalk a few times. Then I tried out my skis while the snow was turning to slush. Now my back is sore. Or maybe it's my kidneys. Probably both. Maybe I should have spent all that ski money on a whamadyne new snow-blower. Always trying to be different, eh Mr. Bland? Now here's a song by the real Mr. Bland. Mr. Bobby "Blue" Bland! (see above)

One thing that is not bland, however, is crossing fairly busy intersections on a bicycle. It is stressful at times. Will that car stop, slow down, accelerate, etc.? These are reasons why I have recently taken to singing Kenny Loggins' "Highway to the Danger Zone" as I approach an intersection.

I do not sing it as I am actually crossing the intersections, however, since I prefer to focus on the positions and trajectories of the primary potential hazards. I try to ride kind of slowly (i.e., at my usual pace) but purposefully so everyone can see me, take a sip of their mochacchino, and then choose a suitable course of action (preferably avoiding me in a predictable, serene manner). A bland intersection crossing is a good intersection crossing.

Over the river and through the woods sounds quite a bit more pleasant. Maybe I'll move north where I can telemark to work without any intersections. Of course "work" would probably consist of harvesting caribou or beaver. Or maybe sending some cheap pharmaceuticals back down to the U.S. Hope you are ready for that intersection/Christmas. Beware and bless you.