December 15, 2012
Are there some things in life that annoy you? Yep. Me too. Questions. Answers. People. What doesn't annoy me?! I am well on my way to becoming a cantankerous middle-aged man. I noticed this when I was again annoyed by a person sitting behind me at a movie yesterday. His feet and/or knee occasionally bumped against the back of my chair!? It happened often enough that I stood up to block his view and pretended to fiddle with something in my pocket for a while. Not very satisfying, though, since he still bumped my chair a few times, but not quite as many, during the next 2/3 of the fantastic 3-D film - Life of Pi. I think he was just old, tall, and oblivious, though, not malicious. I mean, these theatre chairs offer so much space these days! I could be sitting there with an orangutan and a tapir sharing my popcorn and still not bump the guy in front of me! Inexcusable! At least I feel like I now have a choice in being cantankerous, whereas I think pretty soon it will not be a choice so much as a part of my permanent disposition. I think I will choose to sit somewhere where there is no one behind me next time I visit the theatre. People occasionally get annoyed while driving and/.or bicycling, I have observed. Mostly, though, they are happy to be getting somewhere. Bicyclers wave and motorists honk merry greetings as we all peaceably co-exist harmoniously. Carols are enthusiastically flung back and forth. Lights are not activated in mischievous games to see if others are paying attention. What a hoot!
So I hear there is a bicycling/running event occurring tomorrow! Cool, eh? It's a "biathlon" that doesn't involve skiing or shooting (at least hopefully to the latter!). This one is all-terrain bicycling/trail-running. I have heard these events called "duathlons" in the past, so I am in my usual general state of confusion.
More importantly, though, is the following query: Will our soon-to-be-alien overlords awaiting the Mayan apocalypse be participating? Well I think they would be hard-pressed to resist. The event is celebrating our earthly winter solstice, which occurs on the same day as their inauguration/Mayan apocalypse. So if you are participating in this event and you notice someone who seems to be a little different and/or physically superior, they are more than likely either doping and/or aliens. I think most aliens are doping. They are on another world, after all. Just think of all the shots we humanoids get when traveling to another continent and/or your in-laws' place for the holidays.
"How will these aliens contribute to our bicycling culture here on earth?", you ask. You don't ask? C'mon, work with me here people! Well I'm pretty sure they will build and maintain some pretty sweet MTB trails in new-agey places like Roswell, Sedona, maybe a few European plateaus and the like. They will build these trails with lasers emitted from their minds and amplified by their spacecrafts! Here is a Man or Astroman song that describes the probable events that will result in this trail (and mind!) expansion.
So get ready for some sweet mountain bicycling and maybe a road trip to Roswell! I'll be the non-alien taking photos of the potential aliens before the event and sucking ass and/or wind in the back of the pack when the actual riding occurs! Let's get terrestrial, astrowheelers!
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