Road raging party! Aaaaaaaa!

August 14, 2012

There is a lot of news coming out of my neighboring state of Iowa. Which is not surprising, considering it is a heavy politicking time. President Obama, an avid bicycler,

http://laist.com/2008/06/09/obama_rides_a_b.php

and Paul Ryan (although the P-man doesn't seem interested in bicycling, his ex-wife may be)

http://atmywitsend08.blogspot.com/2010/05/blah.html

have made some campaigning appearances. They are talking a lot about jobs, taxes, the economy, and midwestern values. What they are almost certainly not talking about (please let me know if I am wrong) is bicycle safety. Although this is not all that surprising, considering that bicycle safety month is actually in May, what is surprising are these two news items relating to alleged hate crimes directed at bicyclists in Iowa (one in Sioux City, the other in Davenport). I don't generally consider Iowa to be an angry state. Even the college football players from the Iowegian "Fields of Opportunity" don't seem particularly aggressive. There was also an accident involving a motorcycle hitting 3 bicyclers(!) near Rock Rapids, Iowa.

Road rage can happen anywhere there are roads, I guess. Motorized vehicles only serve to exacerbate the situation. I was previously of the (apparently naive) opinion that laws to protect bicyclists specifically were nice. Now I believe they are necessary. Here are some good examples of recent laws enacted (in D.C. and LA) for the protection of bicyclists. As I have enthused about previously, Nebraska has ennacted a 3-foot passing requirement for bicyclists in our humble land of thirsty corn.

One possible way to avoid being the target of road rage while bicycling may be to wear patriotic uniforms. David Zabriskie has been hit by vehicles at least 3 times. Then, starting in approximately 2011, he began wearing this uniform.



copyright Shane Stokes via Velonation

 As far as I know (please correct me if I am wrong, DZ) he has not been hit by a vehicle since. The results speak for themselves.

The onus of rectifying this anger towards bicyclists cannot be borne exclusively by our two-wheeling friends, however. Motorists who assault bicyclers represent an extreme form of bullying/assholism. Although many of us consider being an asshole to be one of our inalienable rights as Americans from the US of A, there are definitely more constructive ways of expressing our a-holish tendencies to the world. Ever thought of blogging, you fucking a-holes? Of course you have! A-holes and the internet go together like goose, duck and rabbits (Mmmmmm). Here is an example of a blog featuring expressions of disapproval towards the two-wheeling kind.  Other examples of anti-bicycling sentiments are likely to be occasionally found in your local newspaper's opinion section or in the comments section of bicycle-related articles.  Your online ranting is infinite preferable towards running down, kicking and punching, and/or shooting at bicyclists.

The line between venting and fanning the flames of hating is truly a fine one, however. So beware. Angry motorists might wanna consider some other form of self-medicating (maybe even therapy or prescription medication) besides alcohol. Yes, alcohol and anger go together like cornish game hens and cornish game hen and prosciutto. Once I saw a drunk guy steal someone's sunglasses and then punch a hole in a wall (no, it wasn't me! I'm offended!).

Well, I have so much more news to relate, but it will have to wait 'til I calm down a little. Schwew! I think I might have damaged my "Shift" key with all of my alcohol-fueled (homemade ginger beer) anger. Fucking bicyclists.