Wherefore art thou, Laughalot!?

August 27, 2012
Some people are competitive.  Some are good at bicycling.  Some are both.  And others fall into the "other" category.  Fall being the operative word.  Here is a fellow commuter who I nominate for one of the first two categories, as he blew past me on the multiuse trail this morning.

The sun was shining,

....on a misty morning...

the weather was sweet.  It made me want to move.  My biking feet.

Hi rode past me so quickly that I think it blew my pannier lid open!

...upon arrival at the factory...

Although I am not particularly competitive at bicycling.  I am competitive when it comes to bringing you bicycling-related information such as the following breaking news.   It appears that an American bicyclist, one Lancelot "Lance" Armstrongovich "Armstrong", is being accused of "doping" in order to win a multi-day bicycle race called the Tour de France (I am working on a music video called "Franciful Popsicle" to help misinform the public about this event).  

It is not unusual for bicyclers to be accused of being on drugs.   But this particular athlete has also been raising funds to assist people who are struggling with cancer.  My understanding is that he has been accused of obtaining blood transfusions of his own blood with high red blood cell count which can assist in getting oxygen to cells and thereby increase muscle efficiency.  Taking erythropoietin (EPO) before storing the blood you want to use for your upcoming transfusion can boost your RBC count.  Your blood apparently loses oxygen when you are engaged in a grueling multi-day bicycle race.  You know who else occasionally needs blood transfusions or some platelets to assist in blood-clotting?  That's right, those fighting cancer.  So head on down to your local Red Cross and you might be helping some cancer fighters.  And you won't even have to win a multi-day bicycling race!  Huzzah!

Lancelot may have cheated to win, but I'm pretty sure the Bad News Bears did some of that back in the '70s.  That is when Lancelot and I were growing up together in the quaint town of Round Rock, Texas. Lance had a big wheel and I had a green machine.  We would roll on down to the old Round Rock Theater every Monday during the summertime to partake in the afternoon matinee - lots of Ma and Pa Kettle, Gus - the Talking Mule, Apple Dumpling Gang and some Bad News Bears thrown into the rowdy mix.  Yee-haw!  So allow me to engage in the all-American activity of blaming others for our problems.  If LA cheated, maybe it was due to the Bad News Bears' influence.    Bad bears!  Bad!

Speaking of the Bad News Bears, where were they during the latest Little League College World Series?!  I hear Tennessee didn't hold up too well against Japan!  And I don't think there was even any comedy involved in the 12-2 loss!  First of all, why is one state trying to defeat a former empire?  Sure they are good sharpshooters, but Japan is a nation of 127 million.  Tennessee has around 6.5 mil.  And alot of them like to play basketball.  I don't think Japan is good at basketball.  But, all of these points notwithstanding, if Tennessee couldn't even turn a defeat into a good laugh then maybe we need to make a new Bad News Bears movie to salvage our national pride.  May I suggest the Cable Guy as the blundering coach?  As far as kids go, I like that girl in Beasts of the Southern Wild  and that kid in Littleman.  Those two can compete to gain the role of "General Classification" competitor in this United States-based Tour de Comedie event.  Because when it comes to being laughed at, we US-ians will not give up the title without a fight!  Or at least a laugh, dammit.

Speaking of competitions, the epic National Bike Challenge is winding down.  It is pretty competitive.  I am hoping to come in in the top 4,800.  Don't try to stop me, Gertrude Geizenheimersmith!  Look out!  And let's ride!