Friday, April 26, 2013

Silvery Lines aboot my UNLy Campus!


April 26, 2013
Having heard that our State's beloved Husker factory of UNLiness had been awarded a League of American Bicyclists' silver medal as a bicycle friendly campus, I swiftly happened to be on campus and I figured I would document bicycley stuffs I encountered.  Astute as you are, I'm sure that you've noted my increased penchant for using even more cutesy made-up words than usual lately.  I apologize and I wish I could do something to limit this, but it is likely inevitably progressing much like a terminal sickness as I spend more and more time with Baby Snot and less time communicating with my fellow adults.

Anyhoohoo, here are some of the bicycle-related things I observed during my field trip to the UnL.

Ass you can see, there are many bicycle related signs instructing bicyclers about where their bicycles belong.  And in a nice, polite way for the most part!  How pleasant!  This is good because it means that bicycles are more or less accepted as a part of campus life.  The campus probably didn't get a gold medal because then the signs would say things like "Leave your bike wherever the hell you want!  We don't give a fuck because we fucking love bicycles!  Huzzah!"

Some older, more succinct remnant signs were also hanging around and obstinately stating things a little less politely, but just as instructively


Here is a terrain park that invites bicycles, but not climbers or swimmers, to enjoy a traipse through some obstacles and "get rad" as they say.

Hey climbers, waders, and swimmers!

Find your own damn campus to be friendly to you!  Hah!  Yes, the bullied have become the bullies!  And so the cycle continues.

I did mean to go check out what exactly a silver medal in bicycle friendliness ecktually entails, but I was too busy getting some slickly tyres and a slick carbonated handlebar on my faithful steed Shifty.  I put my bar ends back on because I like to be able to move my hands around on longer rides, but I must admit they look a tad ridiculous.

What is up?  Well, if you are part of our far City's public works department, you have pulled off yet another tongue-in-cheek clean up of the old local multi-use trail/street.

I suppose you are providing for your job security by ensuring you'll be back?  (subtext = please come back now and then)  Or maybe you just don't give a fuck.  I prefer to think it's your whimsical sense of whimsy.  I will be sure to scoop up a trowelfull of the large pile of temporarily solid mud every once in a while and maybe by the time I retire from bicycle commuting it will be gone (or nearly so).  I will move the mud to the City's many rutted out yard corners and I will not ask for anything other than fawning admiration from anyone who notices my noble deeds.  Confusion or annoyance will do to.  I'm not picky.  Just want some attention.  I blame Baby Snot.  Just like when I fart.

Oh and here's my best shot of Woody that I've ever taken!  I was looking for him so I didn't spook him today.

Soon he will be riding along in my pannier and chewing on cookies!

Happy pedaling/chuckwatching/gassiness!

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