Omaha Republican bicycle event

January 10, 2012

As you may have noticed, we here in the middlish midwest have been experiencing grotesquely warm, Mediterranean-like weather. There are hordes of dogs leading their humans hither and thither. Runners, walkers, oftentimes in short sleeves. One bold non-conformist, lover o' the green was even watering his lawn.  This type of warmth is as unexpected as finding a Verizon ringtone named "Ring a Ring" that is actually pretty cool and funky (try it, it's true!). Or as unexpected as turning on your television and finding a guy on a travelogue show telling me to visit Willow Creek if I want a nice little getaway from the crowds at Yosemite (I would someday like to visit Yosemite, but somehow I am instead riding my bicycle across Nebraska this summer). It makes it a little hard to settle in for a long winter's nap. Luckily I've got some "reading" material lying about. Notably, the first volume of "The Savage Sword of Conan" comic collection (in one handy graphic novel format! Wooooo-hoooo!).

As you may have noticed, it is politicking time in New Hampshire - other states will assuredly not be spared. This is an open invitation to any Republican candidate coming to Nebraska to go on a nice bicycle ride with me during your campaigning here. (As you probably surmised, the previous sentence is yet another wildly erratic attempt at humor [or humour for those of us who like it on the dry side] for the following reasons):

1. Nebraskans like all Republican candidates equally (and we don't have many electoral votes, so you don't really have to campaign here, you'll just have to be happy splitting the votes equally amongst your fellow candidates.
2. We Nebraskans are notoriously taciturn and media-shy, unlike our liberal, media-loving neighbors across the river in Iowa.
3. Republican candidates couldn't keep up with a moderately active person like me. Because if one of them could, I'd be sure to vote for him and try to get my friends friend to vote for him (I will not vote for Michelle Bachman no matter what) too (hint, hint, nudge, nudge).  That's right, the gauntlet is cast!
4. Republican candidates are also generally unable to distinguish funny (ha ha) from funny (wierd), so they might actually take me up on the offer for the "funny fote vote."

If you don't feel like bicycling, I was recently informed of some fun off-road running events that are scheduled to occur here in the Omaha area over the winter. Check these out! Sounds pretty great, doesn't it!? Why am I shouting?! I'm campaigning for the Wild Hare Party dammit! So find yourself a cause and let those exclamation marks fly!