Sliding into 2012

January 2, 2012

I hope that you have enjoyed some quality holiday experiences recently, because if you haven't than you might not want to read further because I am about to enumerate the recreational break with immodest amounts of gusto. Some serious holidaying was undertaken with a fair bit of success by yours truly. I made it out to a Colorado ski area where I struggled unabashedly with telemark ski bindings that were perhaps adjusted a bit too tightly, was nearly flattened by a careening snowboarder, drove a Chevy Metro at it's maximum speed of 65 mph for several hours, and then returned home in time to get out to Tranquility Park for some off road bicycling! Whew! I may not recover for several more days. Here are some photos from my skiing trip.

Here are some things I learned about ski trips-

1.  People that work in the ski industry are generally peppy and helpful.

2.  If you want to have a shorter wait for a lift, try to find one that is not too close to the kids ski school. If you are near the kids school, you may feel like you are constantly surrounded by Oompa-Loompas from the Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. More on this later.

3.  If you are like me and don't know much about snow sports, you may want to learn about skiing or snowboarding by watching other snow sportsters skiing/boarding while riding the lift nervously upwards. The bird's eye view provided a kind of "a-ha" moment for me in my fledgling telemarking development.

The kids ski school is a surreal place. Kids will occasionally overrun the lifts nearest the school, led by an instructor who will shepherd her rambunctious charges towards the chairs on the lifts. Kids will become flattened by chairs, fall off chairs, drop things from chairs, and dangle (delightedly terrified) from the sides of chairs in a kind of controlled chaos as the group ascends towards its topsy-turvy descent back down the hill. I have inside information that an upcoming (unsanctioned by the Estate of Roald Dahl) Willy Wonka movie, starring Justin Bieber as Willy Wonka's brother Izzy, will take place at a kind of ski resort/frozen dairy product factory called "Izzy's Iced Incidentals Industry." The famous Oompa-Loompas from the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory will be transported to a cooler climate. As global climate change continues, towards the end of the movie the stage will be set for a showdown between Izzy's 'Loompas and Santa's elves in a territorial battle for supremacy. In the sequel to this sequel watch for some vicious fights and jokes involving short guy complexes.  Also some great stop-action animation, claymation and CGI effects.

I finally made it back home. Have you ever not really wanted to go for a bike ride, but your friend really wants to go for one? Well, I didn't really want to go out in the 30-degree weather for an off road bicycle adventure, I wanted to sit around and stare vacantly at screens. But I reluctantly rode with my buddy and actually had a good, snotty time. The trails at Tranquility are mostly dry and fast these days, with occasionally tracked/rutted up areas and some slightly damp/frozen greasy areas. There is also a new large log crossing that I chickened out on. Next time, large log, next time.

Now that it is 2012, I have made a resolution to ride my bicycle across most of the great (or at least long) State of Nebraska. That's right, the 32nd annual Bicycle Ride Across Nebraksa (BRAN) is scheduled for June 3rd through June 9th. My enthusiastic uncle and overzealous father have coerced me into committing to this long-winded excursion across the plains. So come on out and enjoy the joy, or come up with a better New Year's resolution before someone wrangles you into jumping aboard their resolution wagon. I find the more sober I am when I make my resolution, the less intoxicated I have to be to actually complete/flee my commitment.

So it's now 2012, eh? Mayan predictions notwithstanding I think that this year will be the year in which we not only continue to exist, but are also ridiculously zany. Let's all enjoy the zany antics of the Republican contenders, as they wrassle around with one another like Oompa-Loompas trying to get on the ski lift. Get a little zany with your friend(s)/family. Zany modes of transport are sure to be hits. Here's something I witnessed during my ski trip that I had never beheld before, nor dreamed of in my stickiest wildest dreams.

That's right. If you wanna keep your knees locked closely together so that you don't end up in an involuntary splits or tangled up in a mess of skis, boots and swollen knees, you may be interested in purchasing one of these new-fangled-looking contraptions called monoskis. Here's what Lance Armstrong's Livestrong organization has to say about purchasing a monoski.

And here's what Livestrong has to say about bicycle commuting.

Happy New Year to everybody. I hope that your 2012 is at least as good as your 2011. Pedal or slide some cheer somewhere.